Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower Heartbreak

Re: Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower Heartbreak

• justsie member

  

  August 2015

  debhagen923 said:

  *venting, I feel so terrible*

  I want to first say, that my bridesmaids and the moms planned a beautiful bridal shower and I am so grateful! But........

  My bachelorette party and bridal shower were (in my eyes) A DISASTER!!!  The bachelorette party was such a mish-mash of last minute things and nothing that I really wanted to do, my MOH even asked me beforehand what I'd like to do for it.  On top of it being so stressful because nothing was really planned for it, (now I love my mother and FMIL dearly!) the moms tagged along for the party and I felt like I was being chaperoned the entire time and just in general didn't have a good time.  The bars that we went to were completely dead and it was a Friday night!  And half the people that said they were going to show up, ended up being no-shows which really hurt. 

  My bridal shower was so nicely put together, there was a mimosa bar and little snacks and whatnot, and out of almost 40 people who were invited, 21 RSVP'd yes, and only 4 people showed up.  It was one of the most heartbreaking days I've ever had.  I was looking forward to seeing a lot of my family and friends and  no one bothered to show up.  I've tried to put these events past me and just brush it off, but nothing has worked!  I felt embarrassed that there was all of this food and drink and place settings and 4 people came. 

   I just feel like I've been jipped out of the whole fun experience that is a bachelorette party or being able to feel special for a few hours at a bridal shower.  I am still heartbroken and feel so terrible.

  
  

  That sucks that your events didn't go how you pictured them, I'd say have a glass of soothing beverage of choice, spend an evening being upset about it, and then move on. At this point there is nothing that you can really do. You were not cheated out of the fun experience, you still got to have them they just were not the experiences you thought they were going to be. If you keep dwelling on what went wrong, or what upset you about the events, your thoughts and feelings on them will never change. Every time you start to think about something that went wrong, challenge yourself to focus on something you enjoyed. 

  

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• mrsconn23 member

  

  August 2015

  What Justsie said. 

  
  

  Two things:

  
  

  1) It's spelled 'gypped'

  2) It's a racist term. 

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• *Barbie* member

  

  August 2015 edited August 2015

  Seriously, don't - Nettie will cut a bitch. 

  

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• justsie member

  

  August 2015

  mrs.conn23 said:

  What Justsie said. 

  
  

  Two things:

  
  

  1) It's spelled 'gypped'

  2) It's a racist term. 

  I knew that looked wrong, but my dyslexia couldn't figure it out. I was seriously just getting onto FI about this yesterday as well. People really need to look into terms before they use them. 

  

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• aliwis000 member

  

  August 2015

  I agree with PP take a day to be upset then start to move on.
  
  I will say I would feel the same way you do. Especially at the shower part, 21 RSVP yes and only 4 show up! We all understand last minute emergencies but I do not believe that 17 people had one on the same day. In my opinion that was just rude on their part.
  
  But there is nothing you can do about it now. Take a deep breath and remember those people for your baby shower. They might not get an invite.
  

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  August 2015

  My thought is I'd be bummed too if 21 people RSVP'd "Yes" then the vast majority flaked out with not even as much as a "something came up and I need to shave my big toe hair" type excuse.  Actually, that's pretty shi**y of those people and I'd be confirming their RSVP to the Wedding if they pulled something like that already (those are real numbers when it comes to the budget!)...

  I also agree with @justsie 's recommendation to sit down and have a beverage of your choice one night, dwell on it, then let it go and move on.  No one wants to be chaperoned on their Bach. night.  Did they think you were going to a spa - really!  It wasn't the image you had in mind but that beats not having either event at the end of the day.  A friend threw a baby shower and only four of us showed up.  We did the best we could with the few we had and she was glad to have had one, plus, it probably was one of the best baby showers I've ever attended because our attitudes made it so!  Take the lesson learned if you're ever involved in planning something in the future for someone else, but stop wasting your energy on what you didn't have and focus on what you did, involved parents! (which comes in handy when it's time for someone to watch the grandkids should you ever choose to have kids!).. 

  And - as the Bohemian in the crowd - Am I suppose to be offended by something - meh - whatever... 
  

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• *Barbie* member

  

  August 2015

  Bohemian =/= Romani

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• lembaslover member

  

  August 2015

  If it were me I'd just get over that the bachelorette was not what you dreamed it would be because when someone else plans something for you, you go with the flow and be grateful that someone did that for you. 
  

  
  

  As for all of the no-shows for your shower, I'd be re-thinking who I spend my time with if 17 people don't have the decency to at least text or call the host saying they changed their minds then I think you need to loose those 17 people from your life. They aren't worth it. MesmrEwe said about seeing if they are actually coming to the wedding... 

  
  

  Lots of people don't have someone even offer to host those events for them and you did even if they didn't turn out as planned so be sad for a night and then move on.

  
  

  

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• Knottie1430397555 member

  

  August 2015

  Of course you are allowed to be upset!

  
  

  I assume you are writing about it on here because you don't want to cause waves among the friends and family that you love. You clearly are aware that they didn't have bad intentions and yet you are self-aware enough to acknowledge your own dissappointment and find a safe place to share it with people who should understand.

  
  

  So please, don't take the criticism to heart and try to keep the positive memories of these events in your mind more than the negative!

  
  

  I would also suggest thinking ahead about any other events or details of you wedding that mean a lot to you. I know there is no way to foresee what will go wrong, but just decide what is extremely important to you and maybe assert more control over that particular aspect of your wedding? For example I know it is super important to me that I have a calm, relaxing space to get ready in before my wedding. I don't want to be crowded or rushed so that is one of the things I am asserting control over! Remember, the only person you can really depend on to know exactly what you want is yourself!  

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