Wedding Woes

Now I am getting frustrated.

I am so over unwanted surprises this week.

We booked a wedding venue at the beginning of March. We have chosen to get married on the property where one of FI's favorite breweries is located. It is in in Texas. We are not. Because they are open to the public on weekends, the owners of the Ranch on which they are located only allow private events during the week, when there will not be brewery visitors on the premises. I agreed to all of this because it makes FI happy. Honestly if I had my way we would have eloped in Europe, so I decided that if we were going to do this whole shebang in the US, I was going to do it in a way that makes FI and his family happy. I've been married before, but he hasn't, so the big traditional wedding is a bigger deal to him than to me. I'm more interested in the marriage part of it.

Fast forward to last night. I receive a message from FI (I am out of town) that is a screenshot of an internet advertisement for a catered in beer dinner, to be held "on the beautiful grounds outside of the brewery" at 7 p.m. On our wedding date.

So after we've paid $2,500 for the use of the venue and scheduled our wedding on a Thursday in order to guarantee that there would not be other people using the same property, I now learn that there will be another party going on literally 15 yards from us. It doesn't help that it's in the part of the space where we were to have our pictures taken. My guess is they will be setting up tables and chairs and service stations outside during the time that afternoon that we had planned the portion of the photos that were to happen before the ceremony, and when the ceremony is finished (and we would finish up the ones with the family) there would already be dinner guests sitting down there. In addition, the outdoor restrooms used by the brewery have been under construction for months, so they send people down to the lower restrooms, which happen to be where our reception is. We would have strangers walking through our reception (and right past our open bar) to use the bathroom. Awesome.

Needless to say, FI is not happy and is now suggesting that we just get married in his hometown. No way in the world am I going to allow that to happen, because that would require replanning this entire wedding in 41 days. The deposits for the TX musicians (who have learned a couple of new pieces for us) and baker have been paid, and all of the invitations are out. Airline tickets have been purchased (buy guests), and hotel reservations have been made. Our block is closed, so should we cancel we will be responsible for paying for all of the rooms that have been booked by our guests.

The woman who owns the property (and the outdoor restaurant on it that will be catering our reception) did not know about this until yesterday either, and says she has a meeting with them about it next week. Unfortunately, since they rent from her I am not yet sure what her authority is to ask them to reschedule this event, so it will be several days before I know what ultimately is going to happen.

FI is adamant that he does not want to get married there if it will not be the private event that was promised. I can't say I blame him, because I really don't want to spend half of my evening checking to be sure that the people putting drinks on our tab at the bar are actually part of the wedding, not people on their way back from the bathroom. No, I am not interested in asking my guests to wear a tacky ass wristband proving they are wedding guests so they can order booze.

I guess in the next couple of days I'm going to start looking around for alternate venues nearby just in case. The property next door where we will be staying has some outdoor space (but a lot of construction going on), & I suppose it wouldn't be the worst thing if we had to rent tables/chairs/a tent/dance floor and find someone else to cater in the food. It is just frustrating because there is no way we would be having our wedding that many hours from home (or on a Thursday) had it not been for FI's desire to host it at this specific location.

I think I need a cocktail.

Re: Now I am getting frustrated.

  • PupatellaPupatella
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    edited August 2015
    Omg I feel so bad for you!!!

    My two cents, look through your venue contract. Does it guarantee a private event space with no other party taking place that night on the premises? If so, they are in violation, and I would contact them yourself immediately to discuss. I would demand that they move the other event to another day.

    If this is not in your contract, well then crap. I like your plan of looking at other venues in the area since flights and hotels have already been booked. I'm hoping that finding something on a Thursday night with such short notice is doable.

    Also, even if it is not in your contract, I would still call the venue to discuss. Hopefully there is some remedy that they can offer.

    Please keep us updated.

    Edited: I see you already contacted the owner of the property. I really hope she can do something. Is she the one that is responsible for booking all of the events, or are you dealing with an event manager too? If they offer to move the other event very far away from you / on the other side of the building, would you go for this? Although then the bathroom thing is still an issue..... I feel horrible for you.

  • Pupatella said:

    Omg I feel so bad for you!!!

    My two cents, look through your venue contract. Does it guarantee a private event space with no other party taking place that night on the premises? If so, they are in violation, and I would contact them yourself immediately to discuss. I would demand that they move the other event to another day.

    If this is not in your contract, well then crap. I like your plan of looking at other venues in the area since flights and hotels have already been booked. I'm hoping that finding something on a Thursday night with such short notice is doable.

    Also, even if it is not in your contract, I would still call the venue to discuss. Hopefully there is some remedy that they can offer.

    Please keep us updated.

    Edited: I see you already contacted the owner of the property. I really hope she can do something. Is she the one that is responsible for booking all of the events, or are you dealing with an event manager too? If they offer to move the other event very far away from you / on the other side of the building, would you go for this? Although then the bathroom thing is still an issue..... I feel horrible for you.

    Thanks. It is tricky because the people who scheduled the conflicting event did not check with the owner (who is the event manager we are working with) first. Fortunately she totally understands why this is a problem and is going to talk to them, but until then its just hurry up and wait. I hope she has the authority to insist they reschedule.

    Either way I am choosing not to get bent out of shape over it. Now that my face is mostly healed we are FINALLY having engagement photos taken next week (yes, like a month before the wedding) and I don't need any extra stress pimples :-)
  • You have such an awesome attitude about this situation. :smile:

    I'm really hoping it works out for you. At least the property owner seems willing to work with you, and is in communication with you. I hope she can insist that they reschedule too.

    Also, congrats on having your engagement photos taken!! That is super exciting no matter when in your engagement you have them taken. I hope you have a ton of fun during your engagement shoot.

  • I hope everything gets worked out. That's pretty shitty. I'd be pissed .

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    TheCheeseWench
  • This is where contracts are important! 

    So - over 21 guests need to wear wristbands to be served free alcohol at a venue that has another event going on and you don't want to pay for non-guests' drinks - and this is beyond imagination because?!?!?  I suspect your guests who plan to indulge will understand if you explain the situation so the story gets around that it's out of your control because the other event got scheduled and bathrooms are next to your reception area.  Is it annoying for all - yes..  Is it ideal - no.  Is it the end of the world, hill to die on, cancel the wedding, no...  Is it something that depending on your contract you can negotiate for a lower rate if there's nothing that can be done - probably...  You never know, 41 days is enough time to get bathroom remodels finished, so this may all be history.  IMO, it's not worth finding a replacement venue over this because your guests have already shelled out a lot of money to attend between planes and hotels. 

    Be patient and give them the few days to get back to you on the situation. If anything, you've got room to negotiate.  It's a lot easier/cheaper to do so than it is to try to find a new venue and vendors on this short of notice.

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  • Have you heard back any positive news yet? I'm so hoping that this works out for you.


  • Pupatella said:
    Have you heard back any positive news yet? I'm so hoping that this works out for you.
    Thanks. I'm still waiting to hear back about the details, but FI has calmed down so I'm just going  to make it work. I think they may be able to move it to another part of the property, which would be awesome. At this point I am pretty much over the nit-picky wedding stuff. I have too much to be thankful for to let any of this get to me. If getting hit by a semi 5 months before my wedding day isn't stopping this party, neither is a beer dinner.  :)

    @MesmerEwe if I was going to move it, it was likely going to be next door where a bunch of us are staying for the weekend so that we could keep most of the same vendors, and travel plans would not have to change. This venue was FI's dream spot, so if it REALLY wasn't going to be what he wanted I wasn't going to fight him on it. He's been an absolute prince in picking up the slack for me these past months.
  • @TheCheeseWench You have been through SO much, and you are so positive about it.  It's honestly inspiring.

    That's good that they are hopefully moving the other party to another part of the property.  I really hope they at least do that for you.  And then your FH gets to have the wedding at the venue he really wants.  :)

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