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Vow Help :/

kittychik1318kittychik1318 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
So my fi and I are planning an elopement and I am stuck on what to say. Most of what I put together comes from lyric lines from different songs from a band that we both bonded over so any help would be appreciated. 

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You light up my life. You are my signal fire. You are my joy, a joy that I can't keep in. And if you will let me, every minute from this minute now, I'll be right beside you. Please take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and hold on tight. We don't need anything or anyone, only love. All I want is one perfect partner, one eternal kiss, all our lives. All I want is you. So please, just say yes, to me.
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Re: Vow Help :/

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    justsiejustsie member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    Vows are promises you are making to one another, so keep that in mind. What you have written, while sweet, are not vows. 

    kittychik1318 said:
    So my fi and I are planning an elopement and I am stuck on what to say. Most of what I put together comes from lyric lines from different songs from a band that we both bonded over so any help would be appreciated. 

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    You light up my life. You are my signal fire. You are my joy, a joy that I can't keep in. And if you will let me, every minute from this minute now, I'll be right beside you. Please take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and hold on tight. We don't need anything or anyone, only love. All I want is one perfect partner, one eternal kiss, all our lives. All I want is you. So please, just say yes, to me.
    ETA: Think about the things that you want to promise to your SO and start there, Also keep in mind that some areas or religions require certain things be stated in order for them to be legally binding. 
    image
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    Your vows of marriage are what the state or your church requires.  They usually require fidelity and loyalty.  Anything else is just frosting on the cake.

    You light up my life. You are my signal fire. You are my joy, a joy that I can't keep in. And if you will let me, every minute from this minute now, I'll be right beside you. Please take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and hold on tight. We don't need anything or anyone, only love. All I want is one perfect partner, one eternal kiss, all our lives. All I want is you. So please, just say yes, to me.

    The bolded really makes me squirm.  If you really think that all you need is love, then you aren't being very realistic.  Eternal kiss?  What?  One perfect partner?  I don't think this exists in the real world for anybody.  Nobody is perfect.
    Traditional vows talk about the challenges of marriage - " to love, honour and cherish, for better, for worse, in sickness or in health, 'til death us do part."  Instead of talking about what you want, how about talking about what you promise to do in this marriage when the bad times come?  They come for everybody.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    CMGragain said:
    Your vows of marriage are what the state or your church requires.  They usually require fidelity and loyalty.  Anything else is just frosting on the cake.

    You light up my life. You are my signal fire. You are my joy, a joy that I can't keep in. And if you will let me, every minute from this minute now, I'll be right beside you. Please take my hand, knot your fingers through mine, and hold on tight. We don't need anything or anyone, only love. All I want is one perfect partner, one eternal kiss, all our lives. All I want is you. So please, just say yes, to me.

    The bolded really makes me squirm.  If you really think that all you need is love, then you aren't being very realistic.  Eternal kiss?  What?  One perfect partner?  I don't think this exists in the real world for anybody.  Nobody is perfect.
    Traditional vows talk about the challenges of marriage - " to love, honour and cherish, for better, for worse, in sickness or in health, 'til death us do part."  Instead of talking about what you want, how about talking about what you promise to do in this marriage when the bad times come?  They come for everybody.

    Agreed x1000

    Vows are promises you make and asking/wanting a perfect partner is a tall order and not one that any single person can fulfill, no matter how awesome you think your FI is. 
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    kittychik1318kittychik1318 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thank you for your help. Whenever I come up with something, I'll ask for more feedback then. :)
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    What you have sounds like a verbal love letter, not vows. Vows are promises you make to each other, not a declaration that the other is a "perfect partner" (which doesn't exist).

    If you were promising to love each other, that would be an appropriate vow.

    Also, please don't use the rock band references. At best it's cheesy, at worst it's plagiarism that comes off like verbal PDA.
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    There is nothing wrong with using the vows that are in a traditional marriage ceremony.  You don't need to be creative about this.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    These are the vows my sister and her husband said to each other. My sister and I stole vows off the interwebs and modified them for our needs. See, they're promises.
    I, A, take you, K, to be my husband, I, K, take you, A, to be my wife, my constant friend and partner, and my love.
    I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, and trust; one that withstands the tides of time and change, and grows along with us.
    I vow to honor and respect you for all that you are and will become, taking pride in who we are, both separately and together.
    I promise to challenge you, and to accept challenges from you.
    I will join with you and our community and try to create and maintain a world we all want to live in.
    Our home will be a sanctuary and a respite for us and for those whom we cherish.
    Together: Above all, I will give you my love freely and unconditionally.
    Together: I pledge this to you from the bottom of my heart, for all the days of our lives.
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    kittychik1318kittychik1318 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thank you for all your help. I have returned for round two:

    My sweet _____, when you came out of nowhere and crashing into my life, I was so hopelessly lost. We had both been hurt and had gone through so much on our own. But where there was cold, you have brought warmth; and when my life was so dark, you have brought light. 
    And now as I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband  to live our life together, I promise to share all that is to come, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond; our commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made anew. I love you, and will love you forever and always.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2015
    Thank you for all your help. I have returned for round two:

    My sweet _____, when you came out of nowhere and crashing into my life, I was so hopelessly lost. We had both been hurt and had gone through so much on our own. But where there was cold, you have brought warmth; and when my life was so dark, you have brought light. 
    And now as I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband  to live our life together, I promise to share all that is to come, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond; our commitment made in love, kept in faith, and eternally made anew. I love you, and will love you forever and always.
    The second paragraph works fine, and I would use it by itself. Drop the first paragraph. Not only does it not contain any vows, but it is going to be very depressing for your guests to hear, especially as an introduction to your ceremony, that your life was hopelessly lost and that you were both hurt and had gone through so much on your own. Your FI probably doesn't need to be reminded of that during your wedding ceremony either. An overemphasis on negative feeling is not appropriate during your wedding ceremony, especially at the beginning of it. If you really need to say these things to your FI, do it in private.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What Jen said.  I started reading that first paragraph and found myself rolling my eyes, thinking "still not vows".  I don't want to hear a verbal love letter.  I want to hear promises.  That second paragraph is great.
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    justsiejustsie member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I agree with Jen and Adk on all points. Second paragraph- yes, first paragraph- no.
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    redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I agree with all of the others -- the second paragraph is good, but the first paragraph sounds like a verbal love letter. In which case, why not just *write* your FI a letter than you can give him that morning before the ceremony and include all of that? 
    image
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    kittychik1318kittychik1318 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Thank you. :) I'll use the second part.
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