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May 2016 Weddings
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Delayed Honeymoon?

mrs.s0514mrs.s0514 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in May 2016 Weddings

Looking for your opinions here ladies...the other day FI asked how I would feel about delaying the honeymoon a few weeks. He has an excellent job that's only busy from September-May which causes him to be on the road a lot and he doesn't always make it home every night. We have the money and can both get time off work but with the way his job is the month of May is extremely busy for him. He wants to "slay the dragon" and work the 2 weeks after our wedding (May 14th) and then go on the honeymoon. I can see his side of it but yet at the same time I want to be able to get away from our jobs and spend that time together right after the wedding. Is it selfish of me to be skeptical about saying yes? He's a bit of a work-aholic and financially it's not going to hurt us if he ends the season 2 weeks early. I don't want to go back to work right away but I also don't want to be sitting at home by myself. I can see his side too but am I being ridiculous in wanting to say no?

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Re: Delayed Honeymoon?

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    doclagodoclago member
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    Having been in a relationship with a work-a-holic I would be concerned that the delayed honey moon would never come. I think it is important to be alone together and be focused on each other as newlyweds. There is a lot of stress in the planning and the honeymoon helps you to start your life refreshed and relaxed and focused on each other. 
    IMO, and having BTDT, it speaks volumes of what he thinks that he is asking to delay the honeymoon and how he will treat you and your relationship in the future. 
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    mrs.s0514mrs.s0514 member
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    It's not that I don't think the honeymoon will come I just don't know if I want to wait. I'm going to book it so I know we'll go it's just a matter of when. I think he regretted it as soon as he suggested it because he knew I wouldn't like that idea. I know that if I say no he'll end his season early. He loves his job and doesn't get to do it year-round so that's the only reason I'm even considering agreeing to it.
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    laurad75laurad75 member
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    A lot of people delay their honeymoon for various reasons.  Can you compromise by agreeing to delay the trip but booking it now?  If his job isn't busy year round I can appreciate that he might not want to take such a big chunk of time off in May and don't think its necessarily a reflection of your relationship as long as you both end up on the same page of when you will get away to celebrate.  
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    mrs.s0514mrs.s0514 member
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    Thanks @laurad75! That's what I'm leaning towards. I think it would make him happy and it would make me happy to know that it's booked and we are for sure going and not delaying it indefinitely.

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    HedgehogMama2016HedgehogMama2016 member
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    We're "delaying" our honeymoon by about a week and a half if you can call it that... 

    We are getting married about 5 hours from home (in our hometown) and will be going back home and working for a week after the wedding. Why are we doing this? Being fairly new to our community we decided to sign up to do Ukrainian Dance this fall (just for something to do) and our Dance recital is the weekend after our wedding weekend! 

    I'm not stressed about it at all, although neither of us will likely be super productive, honestly. I'd say, as long as your travel plans are pre-booked so you're committed to leave, what your FI is saying is pretty logical! 

    Ultimately it's your call. I guess I'd just think about whether I'd be missing that money come August before work starts up again!
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    mrs.s0514mrs.s0514 member
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    Ok so @laurad75 and @HedgehogMama2016 would it be totally out of line to compromise and say yes I'll wait but could we add a few days to it? Originally it would have been Sunday-Saturday. Is it totally crazy to suggest leaving on a Thursday or Friday instead of waiting until Sunday?
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    laurad75laurad75 member
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    I don't think that's outrageous at all.  My honeymoon is going to be 2 weeks.  If its in your budget and won't be a problem for work I think that's a great idea.  Delaying the honeymoon so you can lengthen it and go at a time when no one is stressed about work makes a lot more sense than going immediately after the wedding because that's somewhat more traditional.  Where are you planning to go? 
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    mrs.s0514mrs.s0514 member
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    Ok I didn't think that was too much to ask for. He had originally said either Hawaii or Mexico but since Hawaii doesn't have any all-inclusives we'll probably stick with Mexico. I've found some beautiful places and I plan on going through a travel agent to find the best deal.

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    HedgehogMama2016HedgehogMama2016 member
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    I totally agree that that's reasonable. To appeal to the logical side again, it's generally cheaper to fly on a weekday than a weekend so I'd shoot for Thursday to the 2nd Monday... 10/11 days (depending on how long the trip is from where you are lol)  ;)

    We are headed to Croatia for 3 weeks so no All-Inclusives for us, but AirBnb is helping keep the costs down :)
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    Knottie1437064444Knottie1437064444 member
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    We're in northern Indiana but it shouldn't take too long to fly. I talked to him about it last night and he didn't seem to mind adding a few days to it. We still need to talk about it because now I think he might be changing his mind about waiting so who knows what'll happen!

    Croatia looks absolutely BEAUTIFUL! And that's awesome that you get to go for 3 weeks! I could never get my FI to agree to that one!

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    Knottie1437064444Knottie1437064444 member
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    why did my name change??? I can't get it to change back it says username is already being used!! :(

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    mrs.s0514mrs.s0514 member
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    JUST KIDDING guys sorry I had to make 2 different accounts because I forgot my first password and I was logged into the wrong one!  
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    HedgehogMama2016HedgehogMama2016 member
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    Mine always lists as an 'error' and shows my username as being FirstnameLastname, but still posts under HM16 (obviously lol) 

    We are very excited! We are carrying forward our 2015 vacation and using all of our 2016 vacation to do it (although that includes time to go down to the wedding a bit in advance) so it's been a long year without any time off, but it will be super worth it! 

    Google is telling me it's like a 5 &1/2ish hour plane ride for you? (obviously depending on where exactly you go) Which is not bad at all, but would totally be nice to have the extra days. It's quite a bit farther for us, so why not go overseas? :) We'll both have beautiful beaches to bask on. 
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    mrs.s0514mrs.s0514 member
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    I've been at my job for just under 2 years now and I'm not even sure how much vacation time I'll get. Carrying it over is a good idea but my employer requires us using any carried over by the end of March so that won't work for me.

    Also a new development...FI and I were talking about the honeymoon last night and now he says he's thinking we should leave right after the wedding but still take the extra days!! EEP!! Talk about an excited girl!! The way it sounded I might even be able to get almost 2 full weeks out of him! I haven't been on vacation in several years so I'm especially looking forward to it!

    The beaches are what I'm most looking forward to that's for sure!  

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    HedgehogMama2016HedgehogMama2016 member
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    That is awesome!! I'm so excited for you :D 

    Honestly, you should ask about carrying forward the holidays. Neither of our workplaces normally allow carry-over holidays. FI would normally have to take a payout after Dec 31 and my employer would force me to take the holidays before then. But! We both went to our bosses/ HR and asked if they'd be willing to bend the rules this one time since it's our honeymoon (not expecting anything) and both said yes with no issues! And we both started our jobs in May 2014 when we moved to our new city, and I only became permanent at my job in April 2015. 

    The worst they can say is no! I've been surprised at how accommodating and excited people are when they find out it's about our wedding/honeymoon. 
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    falsarafalsara member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Honestly I'm going to say that you shouldn't be upset at all. It's only two weeks.  I know some brides who were extra stressed out because they were trying to take care of those last minute details but also trying to pack for an immediate honeymoon.  You might be surprised by how much you'll like those two weeks to really think about the honeymoon. 

    We'll be taking a mini-moon for a few days right after the wedding.  I'll be graduating this December so I just won't have the time off saved up in a brand new job that's necessary to take time off for the wedding and a full honeymoon. 


                                               

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