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Etiquette

Distinguishing the Groom

Hi all ! 

Looking for some suggestions.

We are doing our wedding (mostly) black and white. The bridesmaids in black, the groom/groomsmen in a sort of shiny black/gunmetal color. (see attached image for inspiration).The decor will be black and white with a bit of greenery to liven up the place. I was thinking of maybe putting some red rose petals strewn about on tables but FI isn't convinced, he likes just black and white.

Now, we don't know what to do with the men's attire to distinguish the groom. We want bowties and pocket squares. We don't like boutonnieres. I originally thought of having the GMs in ties and Groom in bowtie, but he'd like them all to wear bowties. We were thinking white (or ivory) pocket squares, maybe we could do red for the groom (which will connect with the red rose petals) but we have mixed feelings about just throwing in some Red on the groom while the rest are black and white... suggestions??
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Re: Distinguishing the Groom

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I like the look!

    I'd go with a red pocket square, or maybe white with black stripes or polka dots or black/gray plaid.
    He could also add a black or white vest. 

    But if you can't decide how to distinguish him, don't worry about it. Everyone knows who the groom is (and even if they didn't coming in, they'll know him by who's saying vows and kissing you). 
    ________________________________


    [Deleted User]kimmiinthemitten
  • I like the look!

    I'd go with a red pocket square, or maybe white with black stripes or polka dots or black/gray plaid.
    He could also add a black or white vest. 

    But if you can't decide how to distinguish him, don't worry about it. Everyone knows who the groom is (and even if they didn't coming in, they'll know him by who's saying vows and kissing you). 
    It's not so much for the people at the wedding but more for the pictures. I don't want to be showing people years from now fun quirky pictures of the guys and them be.. uhhh... which ones the groom ? lol. I like the idea of stripes/polka dots, keeps with the color scheme. I'll check it out.

    P.S. Supernatural fan-girling right now ! lol 
    thisismynickname2
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Sold color bow ties for the GM and a patterned bow tie for the groom?  Or do the same with the pocket squares.

    But really it is hard to distinguish the groom with your color scheme.  It isn't like you who will be in a completely different colored dress then your BMs.  But really everyone will know who the groom is so if you can find a small way to distinguish him, great, but if not, it isn't a big deal.

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    He'll be the guy getting married.

    ETA: In all seriousness, you could have him in a white shirt and white tie and black ties on the rest of the guys. My H wore a white shirt/white tie, best man wore a white shirt/black tie and my brother, our officiant wore a black shirt/white tie.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    leroweb
  • I know it's not a big deal. I'm just thinking, if you look at the picture in my original post, can anyone tell which one the groom is? I can't... It's definitely not a big issue, just looking at options :) 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I know it's not a big deal. I'm just thinking, if you look at the picture in my original post, can anyone tell which one the groom is? I can't... It's definitely not a big issue, just looking at options :) 
    But does that matter?  You know who the groom is and so do the people attending your wedding. Who cares if strangers can't pick him out in your pictures?  As long as you can, then you are golden.

    Really with all the "restrictions" that you have it is going to be really hard to distinguish him from the other guys.  The only way to do it is is for him to have a patterned tie or pocket square and for the other guys to have a solid tie or pocket square.

    ShesSoColdMairePoppyOliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • I'd say different colored pocket square or different colored tie/bow tie or a slightly different colored suit. Like if all the groomsmen are in gunmetal or dark gray, your FI could wear a black suit or a lighter gray suit.
    image
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I like the look!

    I'd go with a red pocket square, or maybe white with black stripes or polka dots or black/gray plaid.
    He could also add a black or white vest. 

    But if you can't decide how to distinguish him, don't worry about it. Everyone knows who the groom is (and even if they didn't coming in, they'll know him by who's saying vows and kissing you). 
    It's not so much for the people at the wedding but more for the pictures. I don't want to be showing people years from now fun quirky pictures of the guys and them be.. uhhh... which ones the groom ? lol. I like the idea of stripes/polka dots, keeps with the color scheme. I'll check it out.

    P.S. Supernatural fan-girling right now ! lol 
    Realy?   Think about this.  Those who are going to see your wedding pictures would more than likely know who the groom was.   








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Maggie0829PrettyGirlLost[Deleted User]
  • I know it's not a big deal. I'm just thinking, if you look at the picture in my original post, can anyone tell which one the groom is? I can't... It's definitely not a big issue, just looking at options :) 
    I can make an educated guess that it is the man to the right of the bride (our left). Her body languages matches up with his with them both facing each other more, and the guy to her left doesn't have a ring on his hand.
    I agree with PPs. It isn't really an issue, you will know who your groom is, but small details like those suggested might be an option.  
    image
    lyndausviredoryx
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I don't see why it matters, but your FI could always wear a bow tie and carry a pocket square in a different color than the groomsmen.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Buy black bow ties and black patterned pocket squares. Get the groom a white shirt,patterned silk bow tie and pocket square in silver, grey or a color. Ties and pocket squares shouldn't be matchy/matchy. They should complement each other.
                
    lyndausvithisismynickname2cupcait927
  • My husband wore a 3 piece suit, his groomsmen wore 2 piece suits. 

    Our colours were navy, plum and lavender. The groomsmen wore solid plum ties while DH wore a stripped lavender tie.

    Since your colours are black and white, I would have your FI wear a patterned bow tie while the groomsmen are in a solid colour (or vice versa). 
  • Hi all ! 

    Looking for some suggestions.

    We are doing our wedding (mostly) black and white. The bridesmaids in black, the groom/groomsmen in a sort of shiny black/gunmetal color. (see attached image for inspiration).The decor will be black and white with a bit of greenery to liven up the place. I was thinking of maybe putting some red rose petals strewn about on tables but FI isn't convinced, he likes just black and white.

    Now, we don't know what to do with the men's attire to distinguish the groom. We want bowties and pocket squares. We don't like boutonnieres. I originally thought of having the GMs in ties and Groom in bowtie, but he'd like them all to wear bowties. We were thinking white (or ivory) pocket squares, maybe we could do red for the groom (which will connect with the red rose petals) but we have mixed feelings about just throwing in some Red on the groom while the rest are black and white... suggestions??
    I love the PP's suggestions of doing a different bow tie.

    If you are looking for something drastically different, why don't you have him wear the opposite of the groomsmen? Black suit with a gunmetal bow tie.

    kimmiinthemitten
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    He can wear white underneath. As you can see in my pic below, my H wore white and the rest of his GM wore blue underneath. But yea, everyone will know who the groom is, unless you planning on posting pics somewhere public, or sending them to magazines or something. We also did pocket squares, because the guys didn't like boutonnieres. Basically, he matched me, and the GM matched the BM's.
                                 Anniversary
    imageimageimage


     

  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    @knottie1438368909  

    If you really want to make your groom stand out, there are lots of tutorials on fancy ways to fold pocket squares.


    Image result for how to fold a pocket square
                
    SP29
  • Oh yeah that's a good idea too! 

    Lots of good ideas. I'll bring this back to FI and let him choose.

    Thanks  ! 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm a little late to this. But my wedding colors were black and white, and the groomsman wore black ties and black pocket squares, and my husband wore ivory. It was obvious who the groom was.
    image
    image

    image


    PrettyGirlLost
  • I vote top hat.
  • anjemonanjemon Minnie and Paul (MN) member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    arrippa said:
    fyrchk said:
    I vote top hat.

    And a monocle.
    image
    image
    SP29PrettyGirlLost
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    anjemon said:
    arrippa said:
    fyrchk said:
    I vote top hat.

    And a monocle.
    image
    And an elegant cane.




    Image result for man with elegant cane




    Image result for dr. who cane






                
  • arrippaarrippa Sam Adams Craft Commonwealth member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    anjemon said:
    arrippa said:
    fyrchk said:
    I vote top hat.

    And a monocle.
    image
    And an elegant cane.




    Image result for man with elegant cane




    Image result for dr. who cane






    image

    MairePoppyluckya23[Deleted User]
  • Aww, shoot, H and his grooms all wore grey suits and navy ties.  No one's going to know who the groom is in my photos.

    Hopefully people will be able to look at my current husband and see the resemblance ;)

    SaveSave
    lyndausvispockforprez
  • The only difference between my husband and the rest of the guys was the color of their vests (and he wore a darker color than the other guys) it's what he wanted, and once the dance floor opens up, no one has their jackets, pocket squares, or boutonnieres on anyway! Everyone who is at the wedding will know who he is !
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    The only difference between my husband and the rest of the guys was the color of their vests (and he wore a darker color than the other guys) it's what he wanted, and once the dance floor opens up, no one has their jackets, pocket squares, or boutonnieres on anyway! Everyone who is at the wedding will know who he is !
    It's not for the actual wedding.  It's for the people who see the wedding pictures years from now.  Because you know, everyone just shows their wedding pictures to random strangers after years of marriage.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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