Dear Prudence,
I have been married to my husband for five years. This is the second marriage for the both of us. I am a happy stepmom to his three teenagers from his previous marriage. His ex-wife left him and the kids to be with her boyfriend. She lives 2,000 miles away and visits once a year for a week. When she comes to town, my husband insists that she stay at our house, and he makes me spend the week at a hotel! I am hurt and furious every time this happens. I don’t think anything is going on between them—he says he does this for the kids to have “a semblance of normalcy and family.” I find this humiliating and it turns my life upside down. I work a very demanding job and uprooting myself is extremely disruptive. This year, the ex has announced that she is coming for three weeks! I have never even met her. I think it’s time I meet her and put a stop to this, but my husband says we need to put the kids first and she’s their mother. What can I do?