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Groomsmen Snark

thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
in Snarky Brides
I just need to let this out for a minute.

FI and I are getting married Sunday (yay!) and were talking last night about the timeline for the wedding day. We have access to the venue several hours before the ceremony starts, so I am getting there early to get ready. I told my bridesmaids they could get there early too if they want to, so we can get ready together and spend some fun time together. I'm providing food and drinks for anyone who gets there early because, duh, I don't want them to starve.

There is both a bridal suite and a suite for the groom at our venue. Both have TVs with cable, large tables, couches, full bathrooms, etc. I told FI last night that he and his groomsmen can get there as early or as late as they want to, as long as they are there in time for pictures. He asked me what time pictures are, and I told him. They will start about 2 hours before the ceremony so we can be sure to be finished in time. Pictures will only last an hour, and then we have a small break (30 minutes) before guests begin arriving. All of a sudden he starts saying that he doesn't think his groomsmen will like that and "we may have a hard time keeping their attention for that long".

I'm thinking, umm.... There are TV's in the suites. And I am not asking them to come 5 hours early and sit around, all I'm asking is that they are there in time for pictures. Also, these men are 30+, not 5 years old. IF they choose to get there early, there is TV. They can watch football. They can go throw a football. They can play games on their phones. I don't care!

I'm sorry, but FI's comments annoyed the crap out of me. Am I out of line? I am trying to do everything I possibly can to make sure that the wedding party and our guests are comfortable.

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Re: Groomsmen Snark

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    spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    You're not out of line. Photographers generally ask you to allow 1-2 hours for WP and family photos so I think your timeline is perfectly reasonable. What is FH's other option? No pictures with his groomsmen? If he's fine with that, just have them show up 30 minutes before the ceremony. He may regret it after the wedding, though.
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    thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    dreadpirateroberts said:
    You're not out of line. Photographers generally ask you to allow 1-2 hours for WP and family photos so I think your timeline is perfectly reasonable. What is FH's other option? No pictures with his groomsmen? If he's fine with that, just have them show up 30 minutes before the ceremony. He may regret it after the wedding, though.
    He doesn't have any other suggestions. He wants pictures with them, but he has no concept of how long things actually take. He has never been in a wedding. So in his mind, he doesn't see why pictures would take more than 15 minutes... sigh

    ETA also, none of his groomsmen have actually complained about this.. FH is just being weird about it

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    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Sounds like your FI is underestimating his friends...stereotyping them as man-children, maybe?

    Everything will be fine. The guys will certainly be able to take pictures for an hour or so, and I'm pretty sure most if not all of them expect this. (Are any of them married, or have married siblings? Been in a WP before? They've probably all done this more than once.)
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    julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Maybe preface it with him saying that if you can get the pictures done first, that means they can party sooner?  That's kinda how I did it with FI's family.... I know they like to drink and they originally balked at showing up an hour and a half early.  Once I told them that we were doing it this way so they could get to the cocktail hour immediately, and that the bar would be available to them as soon a pics were done (before ceremony) they lightened up about it.
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    lnixon8lnixon8 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Do you have a shot list for your photographer? Maybe I went a little crazy but I had a shot list embedded into my timeline so that my girls weren't standing on a peninsula with the wind blowing their newly done hair everywhere for any longer than necessary. 

    Example:
    12:00-12:30 Bride and Groom
    12:30-12:45  Bride and Groom and Brides Family
    12:45-1:00 Bride, Groom and Bridal Party
    1:00-1:15 Whole wedding party
    1:15-1:30 Bride and Groom and Groomsmen 

    You can divide it up even further (goom and brothers, groom and furure brother in law etc).Also spelling out first names can help make things go quickly... When I hear "lnixon8" I will look for who is talking to me. If someone screams "future sister in law of the bride" I might not.

    The week before my wedding was stressful too. Try and breathe and drink some wine.


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    thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Time for your FI to learn that being part of a bridal party means a lot of sitting around. I like the timeline suggestion above. Most groomsmen I know just hang out with each other and drink beer and it's totally not a big deal. 
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    spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    thisismynickname said:
    Time for your FI to learn that being part of a bridal party means a lot of sitting around. I like the timeline suggestion above. Most groomsmen I know just hang out with each other and drink beer and it's totally not a big deal. 
    Agreed. They can take off their suit jackets and hang out while they wait. It's not ideal, but an adult can certainly deal with it for an hour or so. After the ceremony there's an awesome meal and usually booze waiting for them. They'll be okay.
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    thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Thank you guys! We do have a timeline really similar to the one that @lnixon8 suggested. I think FI just doesn't realize how normal our timeline is, and that most of these guys have been in weddings so they expect this. And like I said, they have TV! What guy can't entertain himself with a TV for a little bit?

    I feel much better after getting all that out :)

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    ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think my response would have been "What are they going to wonder off like puppies, they have a TV?" and not worried about it again.. if he made a big deal then ask him for suggestions, because they are his groomsman he should be able to entertain them you did your part.. I am sure one of them will have beer, and maybe put some snacks out, but that is all that I would do extra..
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