VENT- guests

Re: VENT- guests

• STARMOON44 member

  

  September 2015

  I'd just say "that's going to be a bit too casual." I know guests are allowed to wear whatever, but I think if they're specifically asking it's better to just answer than let them attend and be out of place.

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• julieanne912 member

  

  September 2015

  I had the opposite problem.  My wedding was pretty casual and I had people asking me if they should wear suits.  I feel like it's OK to sort of guide someone if they ask specifically about it.  

  Married 9.12.15

  
  

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• Pupatella member

  

  September 2015

  aliwis000 said:

  I know we are never to tell people what to wear. I agree with this as adults should be able to handle themselves. I would never tell my guests what to wear but I have to just vent for a moment about questions I am getting.
  
  I keep getting questions...what should I wear? My first response is to just say what the wedding party is wearing. Guys in tux girls in cocktail dresses. The same people are now asking again..." are jeans ok?"....Um, technically sure. Our venue has no rules, you will not be turned away but come on, its a freaking wedding. Sunday best would be a safe bet. I always wear a dress to weddings (at very least) its an affair that I think lends itself to being a little dressed up. We are not taking a trip to Target its a wedding.
  
  Oh and I gave all the correct hints, or at least I thought I did. Invites were off white folded panel cards with raised print. They were each addressed with hand calligraphy by a professional and the ceremony is at 6pm.
  
  I have not decided on my response yet but I am sure it will just be something like, whatever you are comfortable in because what else can I say at this point?
  
  Oh and I think part of the "problem" is this is my dad's side. Even though I am almost 30 years old they pretty much still think I fall under his "style". Kinda like well this is Joe's kid, its probably gonna be in a field and she will be in boots and cut off shorts. NOPE. I am my own person and although I love my boots and jeans this is a wedding not a trip to the dance hall. Anyway, I will not let it bug me, I know it will not matter at all but the questions are making me wonder how these people made it to adulthood.
  
  
  

  When they ask, just say that semi formal, or formal attire (depending on your wedding) would be preferred.
  
  If they follow up by asking if jeans are ok, I would tell them that you would prefer something a little more dressy.

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  September 2015

  I agree with Starmoon.  When guests ask directly then just give them a direct answer.  Let them know that your wedding is on the more formal side and that jeans would come across as too casual.  But then I would also let them know that whatever they decide to wear is up to them.

  
  

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• kvruns member

  

  September 2015

  say something like "most women will be in short dresses and men in dress pants & shirt, some might have on jackets but probably not all. You are welcome to wear whatever you like but this might help you decide"

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2015

  I had to basically do what kvruns said- with my parents!
  
  My mom and dad are blue collar people and they live in shorts (dad) or jeans (mom) and their favorite wild animal, national park, God bless the USA t-shirts 24/7.
  
  I told them to wear whatever but let them know what my in-laws were planning to wear, which is not much more formal though... FFIL showed us his outfit this weekend- a red button down, black vest, black jeans and cowboy boots. Other than the vest, it's what he wears every day.
  
  I have no doubt that almost all guests will be better dressed than our parenta. Whatever- as long as they are there that is what matters to us. I only told my parents as much as I did because when I said "whatever you're comfortable in" they pressed for more info. I think they are worried about feeling under dressed.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2015

  I'm having the same problem. I am saying "Sunday best". I went to a wedding a few months ago and there was a girl there literally wearing a giant t-shirt as a dress... a giant tie dye t-shirt. So weird. As long as that doesn't happen to me I think I'll be okay. I care more about everyone showing up than what they wear in the long run.
  

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• LKBBaltimore member

  

  September 2015

  For my first wedding in 1992, it was very small (like, 15 people), but I wore a very dressy ivory suit, and my sisters and mom wore gorgeous suits as well. I tried to gently encourage my mother-in-law to acquire and wear a dress or skirt. I knew she hadn't worn a skirt or dress since the 60s, probably. But it was no use. Black polyester pants and a shiny blouse and lipstick. That was what she was going to wear for anything more dressed up than mowing the yard. I thought she might not want to be wildly unmatched to everyone else, but she didn't. give. a. damn. 

  
  

  This time I will not have that to navigate. My mother in law to be always looks like a million bucks. Usually is better dressed than I am.

  
  

  IMHO, some people ask because they really do want to get it right and respect the bride's intentions. Some people ask because they feel like they should, but don't actually plan to listen to you. The trick is knowing which kind of person you are talking to. :-)

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