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Save the Dates?

WesternMA0516WesternMA0516 member
First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I'm totally confused on Save the Dates. I thought I was supposed to send one to everyone on the wedding list, but as I read more, I'm finding that I should only send them to VIPs and those who have to travel (which is a pretty big group). It seems odd to only send them to some people? For instance, we have some friends who need to travel and in the same group, we have friends who don't, so I'd be sending Save the Dates to half of the group... won't people get snarky and wonder if they're invited?

Another issue- my mother in law can't make up her mind about who she wants to invite. In fairness, she has a large family and few close friends and she has some friends shes on the fence about inviting. Is it ok to not send those people Save the Dates? There's not an issue of them finding out about the wedding and being offended, as she's not in regular contact with them or anyone else who is attending.

Also, if I've heard that a family member can't come, do you still send a Save the Date? An invite? They are 100 percent out due to one person graduating that day.
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Re: Save the Dates?

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    Knottie80087608Knottie80087608 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    You  are correct (or at least from my POV) that StDs don't need to go to everyone you will invite to the wedding.  Send them to people you 100% want to make sure have the date on the calendar, people that might need time to make travel arrangements or perhaps aren't in the loop on Facebook etc. and didn't already hear your good news.    It's important to keep in mind that if you send a StD you must send an invitation.  That is to say, if you know someone will not be able to make the wedding, and you send a StD, you are obligated to send an invitation later on down the line. 

    We chose to send StDs to our close family (how you define that is personal), close friends, and international family.  
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The reason why we suggest limiting who you send a STD to is because whoever you send a STD MUST be sent an invite.  So if you send a STD to everyone on your guest list then you are required to send them all an invite.  What if something happens between when you send out the STDs and when you need to send out the invites?  Budgets can change.  Venues can change.  A lot can change which may result in you needing to cut your guest list.  But if you sent STDs to everyone then you can't cut your guest list.

    IMO, I find STDs to be only necessary for those who need to travel.  Because lets face it your wedding date will spread via word of mouth and you could easily call up your VIPs and let them know the date verbally.

    And if it was me I would still send the family member who says they can't make it one anyways.  I realize that graduation dates are pretty set in stone, but it is still a nice gesture and will let them know that you would love to have them come if anything were to change.  Not sending one would, to me, be in poor taste.

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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Only send STDs to people you are 100% sure you are inviting. 
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