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Guest hat etiquette question

littlestmonkeylittlestmonkey member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello, 

Long-time lurker here, with a question as a wedding guest. 

We're going to a society, black-tie-ish wedding (they haven't specifically said it's black tie but all indications are that it's a formal event). 

I have a long purple gown (fairly light in colour) that I plan to wear, which has a black lace waistband so I'm planning to wear black accessories, including a black hat or fascinator. I know that hats aren't always worn in the US but they are quite common at church weddings at home so I still like to wear them over here. My DH is concerned about how a black hat/fascinator will be perceived though and is worried it would look too funereal so I'm here to ask for advice.

What do you guys think? Thanks!!
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Re: Guest hat etiquette question

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    PupatellaPupatella member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I personally would stay away from wearing a black hat to a wedding. 

    Can you get a black hairpiece to wear as an alternative? 

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    littlestmonkeylittlestmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I was thinking something more like this than a full-on hat - still too much? http://www.amazon.com/Handmade-Feathers-Fascinator-Millinery-Hat/dp/B00BFIHA5E/ref=pd_sim_193_10?ie=UTF8&refRID=0B19ARVSGD77FECB3AJC
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    downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    That fascinator is really pretty, but I think it might be a little much.  Like @pupatella said, if you want to wear something black in your hair, I'd go with some other type of hair accessory, like a flower or a jeweled comb.
    image
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    PupatellaPupatella member
    Combo Breaker First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    littlestmonkey said:
    I was thinking something more like this than a full-on hat - still too much? http://www.amazon.com/Handmade-Feathers-Fascinator-Millinery-Hat/dp/B00BFIHA5E/ref=pd_sim_193_10?ie=UTF8&refRID=0B19ARVSGD77FECB3AJC
    That hat is really pretty, but I still personally wouldn't wear it to a wedding.

    Who was the main invite to the wedding - you or your H? i.e. is your husband's family member getting married, and you are invited because you are your husband's SO? If that's the case, I would air on the side of caution, and choose a black headpiece, especially since your H commented on the hat specifically.

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    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't think I've ever seen a guest at a wedding wear a fascinator or a hat to a wedding, and this one in black looks funereal.  I'd skip it.
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    littlestmonkeylittlestmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Thanks ladies! I've just ordered a gray hat that's more on the gray-purplish side so I think that's going to go really well with my dress!
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    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    littlestmonkey said:

    Thanks ladies! I've just ordered a gray hat that's more on the gray-purplish side so I think that's going to go really well with my dress!

    This sounds lovely!! I wish this was the trend around here, because I'd love to wear a hat like that to the next wedding I'm at!
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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree completely with LondonLisa. If this is a formal daytime even, it isn't black tie and your gown is inappropriate. If it's a formal evening wedding you shouldn't be wearing any hat. A long gown at a non-black tie wedding is already going to stand out- pairing it with a hat will look silly and costume-y.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    LondonLisa said:
    By definition a black tie event is in the evening therefore you should not wear a hat or fascinator. Those are strictly for daytime events. Hats/fascinators also never go with long gowns. They should be worn with knee length dresses.

    I'm going to pass this info on to my mom, and she will be relieved! I'm getting married in Holland since my FI is Dutch. Her friends are telling her that since it's a European wedding she should wear a hat, and she's not too enthused with the idea, but I guess since we are having a more formal reception in the evening it means she's off the hook!
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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2015
    Ditto LondonLisa - hats shouldn't be worn in the evening.  Rule of thumb - if you're wearing full length gown - don't wear a hat. 


                       
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    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Good to know the hat etiquette! I wish hats and fascinators were more of a "thing" here. I guess there is nothing stopping me from wearing either ;). 
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