Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Invitations & Paper
Wedding Invitations & Paper
New Discussion

Casual wedding invitation wording

spockforprezspockforprez member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Our wedding is casual and I'd like to use informal wording on our invitations so that the casual nature is communicated properly.

One thing I really like, but don't know if I can make it work, is to use the words "we" and "our" instead of "their." Not sure if that's etiquette-approved (please let me know) but regardless, it seems to clash because we have our names listed, which is a third person point of view. 

It could work if we skipped the names said, "Together with our families, we invite you to witness our wedding ceremony" (not the actual wording obviously, just used for the exercise) but it wouldn't really work if we said, "Together with our families SALLY SMITH and JOHN DEER invite you to witness our wedding ceremony," because now the subjects don't agree. But if we skipped the names, that invites a whole host of other wording issues. 

Soooo yeah I don't think that's going to work, unless there's something I'm not seeing. Any other ideas for a less formal invitation?
Daisypath Anniversary tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Casual wedding invitation wording

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of
    Sally Smith
    to
    Mike Johnson
    Saturday, the ninth of June
    two thousand sixteen
    at half after four o'clock

    Honestly, I don't see this as "formal" wording.  I would get that your wedding is casual by the fact that you used some cutesy and colorful invite, rather then a black and white embossed invite.  I would also get that your wedding was casual because you are having it, say, on the beach rather then at the St. Regis in their grand ballroom.

    All this wording is doing is informing your guests that they are invited to your wedding on X date at Y time.

    Report Reply
  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    Maggie0829 said:
    The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of
    Sally Smith
    to
    Mike Johnson
    Saturday, the ninth of June
    two thousand sixteen
    at half after four o'clock

    Honestly, I don't see this as "formal" wording.  I would get that your wedding is casual by the fact that you used some cutesy and colorful invite, rather then a black and white embossed invite.  I would also get that your wedding was casual because you are having it, say, on the beach rather then at the St. Regis in their grand ballroom.

    All this wording is doing is informing your guests that they are invited to your wedding on X date at Y time.
    To me, that's pretty formal wording, especially spelling out the dates/times. The "informal" options according to Emily Post are still pretty formal compared to the event we're hosting, which is essentially a casual BBQ. I hope to accomplish the bolded but in a less "fancy" way, I guess. Maybe scribble it on a post-it note? :D 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    dreadpirateroberts said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of
    Sally Smith
    to
    Mike Johnson
    Saturday, the ninth of June
    two thousand sixteen
    at half after four o'clock

    Honestly, I don't see this as "formal" wording.  I would get that your wedding is casual by the fact that you used some cutesy and colorful invite, rather then a black and white embossed invite.  I would also get that your wedding was casual because you are having it, say, on the beach rather then at the St. Regis in their grand ballroom.

    All this wording is doing is informing your guests that they are invited to your wedding on X date at Y time.
    To me, that's pretty formal wording, especially spelling out the dates/times. The "informal" options according to Emily Post are still pretty formal compared to the event we're hosting, which is essentially a casual BBQ. I hope to accomplish the bolded but in a less "fancy" way, I guess. Maybe scribble it on a post-it note? :D 
    So because the dates and time are written out that makes it formal?  I'm sorry, I just don't agree. To me, it just makes it look nice and sorry, not sorry no matter how casual a wedding is I still think it should have a nicer worded invite then say a 10 year olds birthday party where there are lines that you fill in with the info.

    Report Reply
  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2015
    Maggie0829 said: dreadpirateroberts said: Maggie0829 said: The pleasure of your companyis requested at the marriage ofSally SmithtoMike JohnsonSaturday, the ninth of Junetwo thousand sixteenat half after four o'clock
    Honestly, I don't see this as "formal" wording.  I would get that your wedding is casual by the fact that you used some cutesy and colorful invite, rather then a black and white embossed invite.  I would also get that your wedding was casual because you are having it, say, on the beach rather then at the St. Regis in their grand ballroom.
    All this wording is doing is informing your guests that they are invited to your wedding on X date at Y time. To me, that's pretty formal wording, especially spelling out the dates/times. The "informal" options according to Emily Post are still pretty formal compared to the event we're hosting, which is essentially a casual BBQ. I hope to accomplish the bolded but in a less "fancy" way, I guess. Maybe scribble it on a post-it note? :D  So because the dates and time are written out that makes it formal?  I'm sorry, I just don't agree. To me, it just makes it look nice and sorry, not sorry no matter how casual a wedding is I still think it should have a nicer worded invite then say a 10 year olds birthday party where there are lines that you fill in with the info.
    ******
     Yeah, I think that makes it pretty formal. I certainly don't think you can argue that it's     informal - you wouldn't text your friend to meet you at the bar at half after seven o'clock. 

    I don't disagree that a wedding invitation should be nicer than a birthday invitation - but I never implied that (only that the wording you offered doesn't fit with the event we're hosting) so the ad absurdum argument is a bit much.

    I think there's a happy medium to be found that is still gracious and properly worded, but less formal. If not, we'll make do with the traditional wording. We gotta send something!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    dreadpirateroberts said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    dreadpirateroberts said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    The pleasure of your company
    is requested at the marriage of
    Sally Smith
    to
    Mike Johnson
    Saturday, the ninth of June
    two thousand sixteen
    at half after four o'clock

    Honestly, I don't see this as "formal" wording.  I would get that your wedding is casual by the fact that you used some cutesy and colorful invite, rather then a black and white embossed invite.  I would also get that your wedding was casual because you are having it, say, on the beach rather then at the St. Regis in their grand ballroom.

    All this wording is doing is informing your guests that they are invited to your wedding on X date at Y time.
    To me, that's pretty formal wording, especially spelling out the dates/times. The "informal" options according to Emily Post are still pretty formal compared to the event we're hosting, which is essentially a casual BBQ. I hope to accomplish the bolded but in a less "fancy" way, I guess. Maybe scribble it on a post-it note? :D 
    So because the dates and time are written out that makes it formal?  I'm sorry, I just don't agree. To me, it just makes it look nice and sorry, not sorry no matter how casual a wedding is I still think it should have a nicer worded invite then say a 10 year olds birthday party where there are lines that you fill in with the info.

    ******

    Yeah, I think that makes it pretty formal. I certainly don't think you can argue that it's informal - you wouldn't text your friend to meet you at the bar at half after seven o'clock. 

    I don't disagree that a wedding invitation should be nicer than a birthday invitation - but I never implied that (only that the wording you offered doesn't fit with the event we're hosting) so the ad absurdum argument is a bit much.

    I think there's a happy medium to be found that is still gracious and properly worded, but less formal. If not, we'll make do with the traditional wording. We gotta send something!
    Well you aren't going to find the kind of casual wording you want from any etiquette website. Because not spelling out the dates and times is just not proper when it comes to wedding invites.  I mean if that is all that is holding you back from using the wording I gave, then don't spell out the dates and times.  Easy as that.

    Report Reply
  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Maggie0829 said:
    Well you aren't going to find the kind of casual wording you want from any etiquette website. Because not spelling out the dates and times is just not proper when it comes to wedding invites.  I mean if that is all that is holding you back from using the wording I gave, then don't spell out the dates and times.  Easy as that.

    This isn't directed at you specifically but I'm wondering how saying September 9th instead of the ninth of September is against etiquette. Etiquette is a standard for making sure guests are comfortable and well-hosted and I don't see how this fits in to that standard, as long as we are communicating that guests are invited to witness a wedding, who is hosting the wedding, and what time, day, and place it's happening. I guess to me it's ye olde "tradition" vs. "etiquette" distinction rearing its head. 

    Anyway, all that aside, it's not just the date thing - I just don't like the traditional wording. Womp womp. It just doesn't fit for an invitation to an event where my FH won't even be wearing a tie. Looks like my options would be to finagle something less formal and still nice, but that might not be etiquette-approved, or to get over the mismatch and use the (to me) fancier traditional wording. Thanks for helping me clarify that choice.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I guess to me the importance of the event deserves proper wording.

    A random backyard BBQ just because?  Sure, use super casual wording.

    But a backyard BBQ that is happening because you are getting married?  Use proper wording.  The nature of the event deserves it.

    Report Reply
  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Maggie0829 said:
    I guess to me the importance of the event deserves proper wording.

    A random backyard BBQ just because?  Sure, use super casual wording.

    But a backyard BBQ that is happening because you are getting married?  Use proper wording.  The nature of the event deserves it.
    Hmm. Actually, that was really helpful. I was getting caught up with matching the feel/style of the event, but not the event itself. I place a lot of importance on a solemn, meaningful ceremony as that is the most important thing to me. So, the wording does fit a little better if I think about it that way rather than just focusing on the atmosphere of the venue/reception. 

    Thank you for sticking the conversation out!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    dreadpirateroberts said:


    Maggie0829 said:

    I guess to me the importance of the event deserves proper wording.

    A random backyard BBQ just because?  Sure, use super casual wording.

    But a backyard BBQ that is happening because you are getting married?  Use proper wording.  The nature of the event deserves it.

    Hmm. Actually, that was really helpful. I was getting caught up with matching the feel/style of the event, but not the event itself. I place a lot of importance on a solemn, meaningful ceremony as that is the most important thing to me. So, the wording does fit a little better if I think about it that way rather than just focusing on the atmosphere of the venue/reception. 

    Thank you for sticking the conversation out!


    I would stick with the regular wording and convey the casual tone of your wedding through the fonts, graphics, and card stock you use.

    The regular wording has specific purposes, and trying to be "casual" or otherwise by changing the wording can lead to confusion as to who is inviting whom to what type of event. There are a lot of stories out there about how guests misunderstood the wording of the invitations they received to be invitations to only the ceremony, only the reception, a post-wedding "celebration" rather than the actual wedding, etc. because the persons issuing the invitations tried to be "casual," "funny," "clever," "cute," "original/unique," etc. with the wording.
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    dreadpirateroberts said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    I guess to me the importance of the event deserves proper wording.

    A random backyard BBQ just because?  Sure, use super casual wording.

    But a backyard BBQ that is happening because you are getting married?  Use proper wording.  The nature of the event deserves it.
    Hmm. Actually, that was really helpful. I was getting caught up with matching the feel/style of the event, but not the event itself. I place a lot of importance on a solemn, meaningful ceremony as that is the most important thing to me. So, the wording does fit a little better if I think about it that way rather than just focusing on the atmosphere of the venue/reception. 

    Thank you for sticking the conversation out!
    I totally get where you are coming from with not wanting to be overly formal when your wedding isn't.  I mean you could say the wording I provided is formal, but when it is paired against a more casual looking invite in a more casual font I guess, in my head, I see less formal wording.  While if it was engraved in fancy script on super expensive paper I would see more formal wording.  Does that make sense?  So really, for me, the formality comes from the complete package rather then just the words.  But proper wording is always good to use, especially when it comes to an important event.

    So I think if you use the proper wording but pair it with a casual designed invite and a more casual/fun font then the overall feeling of your wedding will still get through to your guests.

    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    The style of the invite, font used and then the location, will lend itself to letting guests know that it is a casual event.
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2015
    Well, I'm back from three weeks in Europe, so here is the standard answer.

    The formality of your wedding is expressed by the style of your invitation, not the wording.  Standard wording gives the information who, what, when and where in the shortest possible wording without any misunderstanding. 

    This is what an invitation to a very formal wedding might look like:

    Hand Engraved Pearl White Royalty Wedding Invitation

    This is how an invitation to a more casual wedding might appear.  You have many options with color and design.



    The rule in wording an invitation is this - wording must be clear and concise, without any extra fluff.  No abbreviations except Mr., Mrs., or Ms.  This is why the dates are written out.  It is not a crime to use numerical dates, though, if you really want to, as long as the wording is clear.



    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • spockforprezspockforprez member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    @Jen4948 @Maggie0829 @Erikan73 @CMGragain

    Thank you, ladies. I'm going to keep it simple and use the traditional wording. One less thing to worry about. 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards