Wedding Cruise with MSC

Minderbe · September 2015

Hello everyone! I *think* my fiance and I have just decided to toss aside the big wedding planning and get married on a cruise with our families, but I'm trying to do some research before we dive into this.

We plan on getting officially married at city hall before the cruise, so it's cheaper to have a symbolic wedding on the ship, and so my grandparents can be included since they won't be able to go on the cruise.

So I have a few questions for anyone who has had their wedding celebration on a cruise ship, especially with MSC.

1. Is ANY food included on the cruise? I've searched everywhere and they are so vague on food!

2. What did you do for your reception? I feel like I want something very casual. The wedding package will include a cake and some champagne for toasting, pictures, and few other little extras, but I mostly want to just use the amenities on the ship for the reception. Is this a bad idea?

3. Did you have a bridal shower? I know most people who I'd invite to the bridal shower wouldn't be able to make the cruise.. isn't this rude? Or no?

4. How many guests came that you invited? I don't know if I should just invite 100 people even thought I know most won't come.. or just invite our immediate family and a few close friends.

5. How was your overall experience, and the guests' experience?

ShesSoCold · September 2015

Knottie1432922321 said:

Hello everyone! I *think* my fiance and I have just decided to toss aside the big wedding planning and get married on a cruise with our families, but I'm trying to do some research before we dive into this.

We plan on getting officially married at city hall before the cruise, so it's cheaper to have a symbolic wedding on the ship, and so my grandparents can be included since they won't be able to go on the cruise.

So I have a few questions for anyone who has had their wedding celebration on a cruise ship, especially with MSC.

1. Is ANY food included on the cruise? I've searched everywhere and they are so vague on food!

2. What did you do for your reception? I feel like I want something very casual. The wedding package will include a cake and some champagne for toasting, pictures, and few other little extras, but I mostly want to just use the amenities on the ship for the reception. Is this a bad idea?

3. Did you have a bridal shower? I know most people who I'd invite to the bridal shower wouldn't be able to make the cruise.. isn't this rude? Or no?

4. How many guests came that you invited? I don't know if I should just invite 100 people even thought I know most won't come.. or just invite our immediate family and a few close friends.

5. How was your overall experience, and the guests' experience?

If you get married at city hall, THAT is your wedding. You will be getting legally married. Legal marriage = wedding. For a shower (only if someone offers to throw you one), you can ONLY invite the people who were invited to your LEGAL wedding ceremony. Having another "ceremony" (fake) would be really inappropriate since it would be little more than dress-up and a skit.

Why not get [actually] married on the cruise ship while its docked so people can come to the wedding but not have to stay for the entire cruise?

Minderbe · September 2015

I know many people who have gotten legally married and don't celebrate it until a bit later, whether for financial or personal reasons.

I want to get legally married first, because 1. it would be easier this way since being legally married on open waters isn't possible for most cruise lines or is more expensive and 2. my grandparents cannot come on the cruise with us and it's important for me to include them in some way. So I figure I'll have a very small city hall wedding and go out to dinner with my family, and then go celebrate on the cruise and have a symbolic wedding.

I've talked to a few people who have done this, and they said it was great. I'm not religious by any means, and I'd really just like to spend the money my parents have saved so hard for on THEM.

ShesSoCold · September 2015

Knottie1432922321 said:

I know many people who have gotten legally married and don't celebrate it until a bit later, whether for financial or personal reasons.

I want to get legally married first, because 1. it would be easier this way since being legally married on open waters isn't possible for most cruise lines or is more expensive and 2. my grandparents cannot come on the cruise with us and it's important for me to include them in some way. So I figure I'll have a very small city hall wedding and go out to dinner with my family, and then go celebrate on the cruise and have a symbolic wedding.

I've talked to a few people who have done this, and they said it was great. I'm not religious by any means, and I'd really just like to spend the money my parents have saved so hard for on THEM.

Just because other people have done doesn't mean it's okay (I never thought I would have to say that to an adult). Lots of people do rude and ridiculous shit, that doesn't mean you should too.

Think about it, though. Here you are, on a cruise ship, married to your husband. You put on a wedding gown and walk down the aisle as a wife. You recite some crap that literally means nothing since you're already married.

How do you not feel silly doing that? How do you not feel like you're playing dress-up and having a fake wedding? You will already have been married.

princessleia22 · September 2015

Knottie1432922321 said:

Hello everyone! I *think* my fiance and I have just decided to toss aside the big wedding planning and get married on a cruise with our families, but I'm trying to do some research before we dive into this.

We plan on getting officially married at city hall before the cruise, so it's cheaper to have a symbolic wedding on the ship, and so my grandparents can be included since they won't be able to go on the cruise.

So I have a few questions for anyone who has had their wedding celebration on a cruise ship, especially with MSC.

1. Is ANY food included on the cruise? I've searched everywhere and they are so vague on food!

2. What did you do for your reception? I feel like I want something very casual. The wedding package will include a cake and some champagne for toasting, pictures, and few other little extras, but I mostly want to just use the amenities on the ship for the reception. Is this a bad idea?

3. Did you have a bridal shower? I know most people who I'd invite to the bridal shower wouldn't be able to make the cruise.. isn't this rude? Or no?

4. How many guests came that you invited? I don't know if I should just invite 100 people even thought I know most won't come.. or just invite our immediate family and a few close friends.

5. How was your overall experience, and the guests' experience?

Like ShesSoCold said, your court house wedding, IS your wedding. The cruise ship ceremony would be a completely symbolic event, not a wedding.

As far as cruise weddings, the particulars depend on the ship and the ceremony package you choose. I did a cruise ship wedding. But, I chose to have my legal ceremony on the ship while it was at port before the cruise. We were able to have guests come onboard to attend the wedding without having to go on the cruise. We also had some people that were unable to cruise for various reasons, so this allowed them to attend our wedding. We had 25 people attend our wedding and 14 of those joined us on the cruise.

Our wedding was on Carnival. Their wedding packages included ceremony & reception. Our reception included cake, appetizers (which were so delicious and heavy it could have been a meal), open bar, DJ... pretty much everything you'd expect at a typical wedding. With having a small group though, it was more laid back atmosphere. There was some dancing, but mostly people just hung out, ate, drank, and talked. But, you would have to check with what your cruise line offers in their wedding packages. Also, most cruise lines offer much less stuff for the symbolic ceremonies/weddings than they do for the legal ones, which is why they are often so much cheaper. They symbolic packages are typically for vow renewals, so they aren't expected to have all the stuff a real wedding has.

Anyone invited to a bridal shower should also be invited to your wedding (and by wedding, I mean the legal wedding, not the redo symbolic ceremony). I did have a small shower, but I also turned down offers for showers that would have been for people I wasn't inviting to my wedding.

We invited around 70 people to our wedding (immediate family, aunts/uncles, but didn't invite any cousins and very few friends). We knew that most wouldn't be able to attend, but would have loved to have them there, so we invited them and left it up to them to decide. But, only invite people you actually want to have there. If you actually want all 100 people to come, then invite them. They may come or they may not. But, I'd only invite a large number of people if you choose to do a legal ceremony on the ship. If you choose to do the symbolic ceremony, I would limit the guest list to just immediate family. And make sure they know that the ship ceremony is a symbolic celebration, not the legal wedding. I wouldn't want to invite a big group to a fake wedding ceremony (and that sounds harsh, but many people do look at it as fake and will side eye it).

As far as my experience, my wedding was perfect. I had a great time, my guests enjoyed it, and I wouldn't change anything at all about it.

Minderbe · September 2015

Most friends and family I have spoken to about this love the symbolic wedding idea haha maybe I just have a bunch of hippie family and friends

My mom wanted me to have a bridal shower, which is why I brought this question up.. it does seem very rude to invite people to a bridal shower and not to the wedding, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy for thinking so!

I might see if we can reconsider and have a cruise to Hawaii or Alaska so we can have the legal ceremony in San Francisco before we leave for the cruise. I just really don't want a big wedding.. but I will start looking into different options. Thanks, ladies

princessleia22 · September 2015

Knottie1432922321 said:

Most friends and family I have spoken to about this love the symbolic wedding idea haha maybe I just have a bunch of hippie family and friends

My mom wanted me to have a bridal shower, which is why I brought this question up.. it does seem very rude to invite people to a bridal shower and not to the wedding, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy for thinking so!

I might see if we can reconsider and have a cruise to Hawaii or Alaska so we can have the legal ceremony in San Francisco before we leave for the cruise. I just really don't want a big wedding.. but I will start looking into different options. Thanks, ladies

Yeah, if you don't want a big wedding, then don't invite 100 people... it's that simple. I'd keep the guest list to just your closest family & friends. People will understand (well, most people do). I liked that the cruise wedding included all the typical wedding elements, but it was simplified. They took care of all the details and I had very little planning to do.

Choosing a cruise closer to home also makes it easier on your guests because they don't have to take on the expense of international travel. We talked to our VIP's during the whole planning process. We chose a few cruise options at various ports, cruise lines, various length of time, and various prices. Getting our VIP's there was more important to us than any other detail. Luckily, they all unanimously agreed on the same cruise option, but we were going to go with whatever option would include everyone. We initially would have preferred a higher end cruise line, but it would have been cost prohibitive for some of our VIP guests. We compromised by doing Carnival, but on a newer/nicer ship.

And be careful because you may get some people will quickly say they love the idea and will definitely go, but that could change once they start looking at particulars and cost. All of our VIP's loved the idea, they loved the itinerary, they agreed with the cost. Then our best man came back later and said he couldn't afford it. He was at least able to come for the wedding, but couldn't come on the cruise as originally planned. It's easy to get caught up in it and excited, but it's a different thing when you actually start looking at the details. And some may not want to disappoint you and they may go along with plans that they really don't like or can't afford, just to try to make you happy. So, try to be extra aware of guests reactions, not just their words.

lembaslover · September 2015

Knottie1432922321 said:

I know many people who have gotten legally married and don't celebrate it until a bit later, whether for financial or personal reasons.

I want to get legally married first, because 1. it would be easier this way since being legally married on open waters isn't possible for most cruise lines or is more expensive and 2. my grandparents cannot come on the cruise with us and it's important for me to include them in some way. So I figure I'll have a very small city hall wedding and go out to dinner with my family, and then go celebrate on the cruise and have a symbolic wedding.

I've talked to a few people who have done this, and they said it was great. I'm not religious by any means, and I'd really just like to spend the money my parents have saved so hard for on THEM.

Knottie1432922321 said:

Most friends and family I have spoken to about this love the symbolic wedding idea haha maybe I just have a bunch of hippie family and friends

My mom wanted me to have a bridal shower, which is why I brought this question up.. it does seem very rude to invite people to a bridal shower and not to the wedding, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't crazy for thinking so!

I might see if we can reconsider and have a cruise to Hawaii or Alaska so we can have the legal ceremony in San Francisco before we leave for the cruise. I just really don't want a big wedding.. but I will start looking into different options. Thanks, ladies

I know many people who have lied, cheated, stolen, driven drunk, done a bunch of other rude/wrong stuff. Does it make it ok for me to do all those things? Everyone has financial/personal reasons for wanting to get married sooner so don't think you're an exception. There's nothing wrong with getting married at City Hall but that's your wedding you don't get a second day. Read the posts on PPDs and you'll find even more reasons why what you're considering is very rude.

As for your friends and family loving the idea it's not because they are hippies it's because they aren't going to say to your face that it's rude. They will talk about it behind your back because it is really goofy to pretend you aren't married when you are just to wear a white dress and throw a bouquet or whatever else you were planning on doing.

Minderbe · September 2015

Ok, ladies! Let's change my plans to me getting offically married on the ship in Venice before we depart. Can you please give me advice? haha let's get back on track and stop judging me! geeeeeze

TNDancer · September 2015

2. What did you do for your reception? I feel like I want something very casual. The wedding package will include a cake and some champagne for toasting, pictures, and few other little extras, but I mostly want to just use the amenities on the ship for the reception. Is this a bad idea?

This is what most stuck out to me. DON'T do this. You guests would pay for their own cruise, no? So then they would be paying for their own reception. That's not how it works. Use the basic packge they offer, or have hosted apps brought to your private area.

Jells2dot0 · September 2015

Knottie1432922321 said:

Ok, ladies! Let's change my plans to me getting offically married on the ship in Venice before we depart. Can you please give me advice? haha let's get back on track and stop judging me! geeeeeze

I'm sorry you feel you are being judged, but the advice you are being given about having a symbolic ceremony is based on proper etiquette (and common manners, IMHO). We just want to make sure you are not offending or improperly hosting any of your guests, which may cause tensions and/or strained relationships in the future.

jacques27 · September 2015

TNDancer said:

2. What did you do for your reception? I feel like I want something very casual. The wedding package will include a cake and some champagne for toasting, pictures, and few other little extras, but I mostly want to just use the amenities on the ship for the reception. Is this a bad idea?
This is what most stuck out to me. DON'T do this. You guests would pay for their own cruise, no? So then they would be paying for their own reception. That's not how it works. Use the basic packge they offer, or have hosted apps brought to your private area.

Agreed. As a guest, this would piss me off. If you don't want a big wedding, that's fine. You don't invite that many people. But if you're going to choose a DW, particularly on a cruise when I don't have the option of leaving a day early if I don't have enough vacation time for the whole time period and have to get back to work earlier than everyone else, and I spend hundreds to thousands of dollars to attend your wedding where basically you are shoving the cost of YOUR wedding on to me as a guest...then I'm expecting something a little more than low key cake and champagne. Sorry, but I just am. If you really want something low key, spend a few hundred dollars to rent a space in a nice city park or a room in a restaurant or community center, invite your 20 closest family members, have cake and punch, and let everyone save their vacation days and money to take off at a time when they want to for a destination they want to go to while you go on a nice cruise for your honeymoon. Then to top it all off that I'm spending this money and time for a re-enactment? Really, I think you need to approach this as remembering you're asking your guests to basically pay for your wedding and should treat that with the respect and accommodations that deserves.

jacques27 · September 2015

Knottie1432922321 said:

I know many people who have gotten legally married and don't celebrate it until a bit later, whether for financial or personal reasons.

I want to get legally married first, because 1. it would be easier this way since being legally married on open waters isn't possible for most cruise lines or is more expensive and 2. my grandparents cannot come on the cruise with us and it's important for me to include them in some way. So I figure I'll have a very small city hall wedding and go out to dinner with my family, and then go celebrate on the cruise and have a symbolic wedding.

I've talked to a few people who have done this, and they said it was great. I'm not religious by any means, and I'd really just like to spend the money my parents have saved so hard for on THEM.

Double posting because I can't let this comment go. So you're saying that you wouldn't even be paying for your own wedding/cruise? You want to "reward" them by spending their money for them? Do they even want to go on a cruise? Or a cruise to that destination? Couldn't you "reward" them for their hard work and years of saving by choosing to pay for your own low key small wedding at home with your grandparents since it's clearly important to you for them to be involved instead of spending their money? And then let them use the money as they see fit - whether that be padding their retirement funds, taking a cruise on their own to any destination their heart desires at any time their heart desires, going to Paris or London or Tokyo for their own dream vacation, buying a new car, making renovations to their house, etc.

I guess I'm just really confused why you seem to think the only option to not having a big wedding is go on a cruise requiring your guests (and apparently parents) to spend a lot of money (and then act like it's a magnanimous gesture on your part rewarding your parents). Especially since you want something low key and casual with your grandparents present, which could be accomplished for a fraction of the price at home without spending other people's money for them.

EveningToo · September 2015

Plenty of couples have legal weddings at home and symbolic weddings at the destination if they're doing a destination wedding. This is common and normal. Too many places put too much restriction on marriages. Very few couples have the time to establish residency on an island, then have their wedding and honeymoon.

The cruise presents different challenges to me as one who gets seasick. A lot of people don't do cruises, or don't want to cruise on a big ship. I think you will have more guests - and more happy guests - if you pick a resort on land. I know resorts that will basically give you a free 3 hour reception if you buy a basic wedding package and book at least 20 rooms.

By the way, MSC is a great line and the Divina is a gorgeous ship, but there are so many levels of pricing - you have to really know what you're doing.

ShesSoCold · September 2015

DestinationAgent said:

Plenty of couples have legal weddings at home and symbolic weddings at the destination if they're doing a destination wedding. This is common and normal. Too many places put too much restriction on marriages. Very few couples have the time to establish residency on an island, then have their wedding and honeymoon.

The cruise presents different challenges to me as one who gets seasick. A lot of people don't do cruises, or don't want to cruise on a big ship. I think you will have more guests - and more happy guests - if you pick a resort on land. I know resorts that will basically give you a free 3 hour reception if you buy a basic wedding package and book at least 20 rooms.

By the way, MSC is a great line and the Divina is a gorgeous ship, but there are so many levels of pricing - you have to really know what you're doing.

Except this "symbolic" and "destination" wedding isn't a wedding at all. If I'm going out of town to watch a skit, I want to see actual actors, not self-absorbed special snowflakes.

Jells2dot0 · October 2015

ShesSoCold said:

DestinationAgent said:

Plenty of couples have legal weddings at home and symbolic weddings at the destination if they're doing a destination wedding. This is common and normal. Too many places put too much restriction on marriages. Very few couples have the time to establish residency on an island, then have their wedding and honeymoon.

The cruise presents different challenges to me as one who gets seasick. A lot of people don't do cruises, or don't want to cruise on a big ship. I think you will have more guests - and more happy guests - if you pick a resort on land. I know resorts that will basically give you a free 3 hour reception if you buy a basic wedding package and book at least 20 rooms.

By the way, MSC is a great line and the Divina is a gorgeous ship, but there are so many levels of pricing - you have to really know what you're doing.

Except this "symbolic" and "destination" wedding isn't a wedding at all. If I'm going out of town to watch a skit, I want to see actual actors, not self-absorbed special snowflakes.

I wouldn't put too much stock on advice from a vendor who makes money off of people booking fake DWs.

CMGragain · October 2015

Minderbe said:

Hello everyone! I *think* my fiance and I have just decided to toss aside the big wedding planning and get married on a cruise with our families, but I'm trying to do some research before we dive into this.

We plan on getting officially married at city hall before the cruise, so it's cheaper to have a symbolic wedding on the ship, and so my grandparents can be included since they won't be able to go on the cruise.

So I have a few questions for anyone who has had their wedding celebration on a cruise ship, especially with MSC.

1. Is ANY food included on the cruise? I've searched everywhere and they are so vague on food!

2. What did you do for your reception? I feel like I want something very casual. The wedding package will include a cake and some champagne for toasting, pictures, and few other little extras, but I mostly want to just use the amenities on the ship for the reception. Is this a bad idea?

3. Did you have a bridal shower? I know most people who I'd invite to the bridal shower wouldn't be able to make the cruise.. isn't this rude? Or no?

4. How many guests came that you invited? I don't know if I should just invite 100 people even thought I know most won't come.. or just invite our immediate family and a few close friends.

5. How was your overall experience, and the guests' experience?

I have just returned from my 20th cruise. There are many cruise lines that will legally marry you on board the ship. These weddings fall into two categories:

1. You will be married aboard the ship while it is in port by a licensed officiant. Guests are allowed on board for the ceremony and brief reception. This is a destination wedding, and the rules are no different than any other destination wedding.

2. You are married while the ship is at sea. The host of the wedding is responsible for paying for the cruise fare off the guests, since they have no choice but to cruise if they want to witness your wedding.

Getting married earlier and having a fake PPD on board ship is inexcusably rude and disrespectful to your guests. You only get one wedding. If you choose to have yours in a courthouse, that is all you get.

Your cruise fare covers all food that is served in the main dining room or in the Lido buffet up top. It does not include any alcohol. It does not include sodas. It does not include specialty restaurants that have an extra charge. Wine prices are about double what you would expect to pay on land. Joe's brand ship champagne is horrible! You will want to upgrade.

Wedding receptions are planned by the ship events coordinator. They will explain your (very few) options. Bringing in your cake and champagne is not one of them. There will be a substantial fee for having your small reception on board the ship. I just planned a casual meeting for a group of people on my recent cruise. The ship supplied coffee and cookies.

Most cruise ship weddings, like most destination weddings, only work well for very small families. Remember, if you plan on having your guests sail with you, you are responsible for paying for their cruises. You cannot invite anyone to your wedding and then expect them to pay for it! Your guests are responsible for getting their own transportation to and from the ship.

PS. If you still like the idea of being married on a cruise ship, you might check out Princess Cruises. They have been doing ship board weddings for longer than anyone else. Caution - they are in this to make money. They may not give you proper etiquette advice, you learn beforehand!

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