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Venue Snark - Alcohol "Police"

blushingbride8888blushingbride8888 member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Snarky Brides

Hey snarky brides-

   Our venue has required us to choose an "alcohol person" (a guest) to speak to anyone who is "out of line" at the wedding and needs to be cut off. Apparently this is not typically used but must be on file. Our venue is beautiful and pretty pricey, so this isn't a small barn run by some uptight people who own it. This is an actual wedding venue listed on The Knot with rave reviews.

I'm sorry but I just think this is so rude. Fi and I have our final details meeting coming up and have put this off since June. I hate the idea of asking any of our guests to do this. I offered to do it myself but Fi doesn't want me to. The venue doesn't want it to be us. But we're both so uncomfortable with this. Also, I doubt we'll need to have anyone be spoken to. One of our guests - a grown adult - did recently destroy a hotel room after a Red Sox game when he got completely drunk and let the bathtub overflow..he's the only one I worry about. In my opinion if someone is out of control the venue - who I am paying thousands of dollars to - can handle it. What are your thoughts? Has anyone else heard of this?

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Re: Venue Snark - Alcohol "Police"

  • beachyone15beachyone15 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    This sounds like a job for a hired cop.


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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Well that is just weird.


    However, if I'm about to cut off someone I always talk to the hosts or someone who is around the guest about to be cut off.  I don't ASK to cut them off,  I tell them I'm about to so they know why so-n-so might starting making a scene.  And yes, people who are cut off often make scenes.     It goes over much better if the hosts/friend is involved then just the bartender.    

    Luckily I do not have to cut people off very often.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    banana468 said:
    blushingbride8888 said:

    Hey snarky brides-

       Our venue has required us to choose an "alcohol person" (a guest) to speak to anyone who is "out of line" at the wedding and needs to be cut off. Apparently this is not typically used but must be on file. Our venue is beautiful and pretty pricey, so this isn't a small barn run by some uptight people who own it. This is an actual wedding venue listed on The Knot with rave reviews.

    I'm sorry but I just think this is so rude. Fi and I have our final details meeting coming up and have put this off since June. I hate the idea of asking any of our guests to do this. I offered to do it myself but Fi doesn't want me to. The venue doesn't want it to be us. But we're both so uncomfortable with this. Also, I doubt we'll need to have anyone be spoken to. One of our guests - a grown adult - did recently destroy a hotel room after a Red Sox game when he got completely drunk and let the bathtub overflow..he's the only one I worry about. In my opinion if someone is out of control the venue - who I am paying thousands of dollars to - can handle it. What are your thoughts? Has anyone else heard of this?

    I'd call BS.   You're paying them to do something.   So if they aren't going to be managing your guests, you should ask how much they anticipate paying the person who is now working your event. 
    Also, isn't it the bartender's job to make sure people don't get totally wrecked?  Something about it being illegal for them to serve people past a certain point?

    This is something your venue needs to be doing;you don't go to a restaurant and have the manager or owner tell you that a member of your party is responsible for doing the bartender's and bouncer's jobs.

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I've never heard of this before. And yes, the bartenders are the ones responsible for cutting people off if someone has had too many. 

    I guess you could go two ways with this. Fight them on, and tell them you're absolutely not doing it. Or agree and then just never appoint anyone as the alcohol police. Are they going to ask for you a name? Is this person going to be given some kind of training class in dealing with possibly drunk/belligerent people (not saying any of your guests will behave like that, but really, what are they asking this person to take on??). Just the fact that they're shoving that responsibility off to you and/or one of your guests is completely ridiculous! 
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  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Do they just need a name or do they actually want you to point out a real life person? I would give a fake name


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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    blushingbride8888 said:

    Hey snarky brides-

       Our venue has required us to choose an "alcohol person" (a guest) to speak to anyone who is "out of line" at the wedding and needs to be cut off. Apparently this is not typically used but must be on file. Our venue is beautiful and pretty pricey, so this isn't a small barn run by some uptight people who own it. This is an actual wedding venue listed on The Knot with rave reviews.

    I'm sorry but I just think this is so rude. Fi and I have our final details meeting coming up and have put this off since June. I hate the idea of asking any of our guests to do this. I offered to do it myself but Fi doesn't want me to. The venue doesn't want it to be us. But we're both so uncomfortable with this. Also, I doubt we'll need to have anyone be spoken to. One of our guests - a grown adult - did recently destroy a hotel room after a Red Sox game when he got completely drunk and let the bathtub overflow..he's the only one I worry about. In my opinion if someone is out of control the venue - who I am paying thousands of dollars to - can handle it. What are your thoughts? Has anyone else heard of this?

    Umm, this should be your bartender. It's what they are getting paid for. If your venue is that concerned, they should hire security. 
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  • charcoalandblushcharcoalandblush member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    julieanne912 said:
    I think you should pick the guest that got drunk and destroyed the hotel room as your "alcohol police".  
    Omg this.


    beachyone15 said:
    This sounds like a job for a hired cop.

    Exactly, our venue required us to have a cop on hand from 10pm-midnight that we had to pay for as part of our venue contract if we wanted to serve alcohol.

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  • lerowebleroweb member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Sounds like the venue/bartender doesn't want to be held liable if something was to happen.
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  • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    leroweb said:

    Sounds like the venue/bartender doesn't want to be held liable if something was to happen.

    I think legally (at least here in Canada), they still would be. They are the ones who have had the training (and the liquor license).

    I would call the liquor control board (or equivalent) and find out if this is even allowed (since I'm assuming it isn't) and then let the venue know as much (as a reason why I would not be appointing anyone).
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  • ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    YogaSandy said:
    Sounds like the venue/bartender doesn't want to be held liable if something was to happen.
    I think legally (at least here in Canada), they still would be. They are the ones who have had the training (and the liquor license). I would call the liquor control board (or equivalent) and find out if this is even allowed (since I'm assuming it isn't) and then let the venue know as much (as a reason why I would not be appointing anyone).

    Same in U.S. the one serving is held liable.. There have been cases where a drunk driver drives home, and the bartender, or liqueur license holder is charged for letting them leave and drive drunk..
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  • blushingbride8888blushingbride8888 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Hey ladies - sorry I've been in wedding craziness all week and didn't get to come back to see all your responses! So the venue is still held liable and the bartender is still required to cut people off but we have to give a guest's name who will "step in" and talk to anyone who is out of hand. Still not doing this. What are they going to do if I don't give a name? I told Fi I'll do it. The only out of hand people will be his belligerent friends and I'm at a point where I'm like "Ain't got time for that."

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  • ryanandjoe4ryanandjoe4 member
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    blushingbride8888 said:
    Hey ladies - sorry I've been in wedding craziness all week and didn't get to come back to see all your responses! So the venue is still held liable and the bartender is still required to cut people off but we have to give a guest's name who will "step in" and talk to anyone who is out of hand. Still not doing this. What are they going to do if I don't give a name? I told Fi I'll do it. The only out of hand people will be his belligerent friends and I'm at a point where I'm like "Ain't got time for that."
    I just wonder how many out of hand weddings this place has had to have this policy? Ours has not even mentioned cutting off, or limits.. I wouldn't name anyone either what if that person leave due to an emergency, or something.. or is simply in the bathroom.. most cases when someone gets belligerent someone close to that person slows their roll.

    What if you did name a person that was say his cousin, then someone in your family is the cause of the trouble, that is asking for family issues from the start. make sure it is not stated in the contract though because they may be able to cancel for breech of contract if you don't name someone. at that point though it would be a fake name..
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  • sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    ryanandjoe4 said:
    ryanandjoe4 said:
    blushingbride8888 said:
    Hey ladies - sorry I've been in wedding craziness all week and didn't get to come back to see all your responses! So the venue is still held liable and the bartender is still required to cut people off but we have to give a guest's name who will "step in" and talk to anyone who is out of hand. Still not doing this. What are they going to do if I don't give a name? I told Fi I'll do it. The only out of hand people will be his belligerent friends and I'm at a point where I'm like "Ain't got time for that."
    I just wonder how many out of hand weddings this place has had to have this policy? Ours has not even mentioned cutting off, or limits.. I wouldn't name anyone either what if that person leave due to an emergency, or something.. or is simply in the bathroom.. most cases when someone gets belligerent someone close to that person slows their roll.

    What if you did name a person that was say his cousin, then someone in your family is the cause of the trouble, that is asking for family issues from the start. make sure it is not stated in the contract though because they may be able to cancel for breech of contract if you don't name someone. at that point though it would be a fake name..

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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    My venue asked for this too.  It is in my contract and they recommended the best man!  Fuck that.  
    I hired an on the day co-ordinator for £350 (in addition to the venue co-ordinator) so she can take care of that as well as several other things.  

    TBH the main reason I hired a ODC was so I can bundle all my Brideszilla into a tiny, tight ball and hand it to her the night before.  
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  • lc07lc07 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Our venue required us to hire private security. I think mostly because our venue was in a bank building after hours. But it was nice to know we had someone who could handle shit if things got out of hand. It was only $250 for one security guard which was a good price IMO. It sounds like your venue needs to implement this policy instead. Super weird. I'd hire someone to do this job. 
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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    lc07 said:
    Our venue required us to hire private security. I think mostly because our venue was in a bank building after hours. But it was nice to know we had someone who could handle shit if things got out of hand. It was only $250 for one security guard which was a good price IMO. It sounds like your venue needs to implement this policy instead. Super weird. I'd hire someone to do this job. 
    THIS^^^
    There are people you can hire for this for not much money and you have the added advantage of an extra pair of staff hands as well.  For example some doormen can act as hosts etc.  
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  • drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:

    If you're going to stick with this venue, I'd hire someone and then list that person as your "alcohol person." Tell the venue that that person has been hired for the purpose of being the "alcohol person" because your guests are people you want to thank for attending your wedding and not require them to "work" the wedding by monitoring grown adults. Also let your venue know that the fee for this person's "alcohol person" services will come out of their gratuity.

    I second this, I'm pretty sure that you can hire an off duty cop for this sort if thing.

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