One Month Post Wedding-Check Not Cashed-Can I ask?

Iamnowmrsjms · October 2015

I attended a wedding on 9/12 and gave the couple a card with a check in it. The check still hasn't been cashed. They went on a one week honeymoon, and I saw them at my own wedding 3 weeks ago. Do I ask the bride to see if my card was received and not lost or just patiently wait? I checked w my Mom and she said her check was not yet cashed either. I find this annoying but don't want to come across as rude by asking the bride (she is the daughter of my mom's best friend).

thisismynickname2 · October 2015

In this day and age, given how easily things are lost and stolen, I'd politely ask about it.

sparklepants41 · October 2015

I agree - I would politely ask to make sure they received it and it wasn't lost/stolen/inadvertently tossed in the recycling.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

I'd wait

Both my husband and I do mostly online banking we don't often find time to run to the bank to cash checks. We usually wait until we have a few, about once a month and do them all together. I don't think it's rude at all to be honest, they left right after their wedding for their honeymoon now they are back who knows dealing with what. They may not have had time yet. I'd also wait a little bit longer to see if you get a thank you note in the mail. You wrote the check balance your check book and consider it money spent even if they never cash it. since your mothers hasn't been cashed either I highly doubt it was lost.

frenchiekin · October 2015

I would maybe give it another week, and only because your Mom's check hasn't been cashed yet either - which I would take to mean they haven't cashed anyone's checks yet. Who did you make the check out to? If it has both of their names on it or you used the bride's new married name (if she's changing it) it may have caused some delays in them being able to cash it. We already had a joint account before the wedding so it wasn't a problem for us, but I imagine it might be if that's not the case for this couple.

It was tough for us to find time to get to the bank during work hours to deposit everything though. We did it the week after we returned from the honeymoon (so about a week and a half after the wedding) and waiting that long was already giving me anxiety, so I agree that this couple is kind of pushing it.

kvruns · October 2015

I'd go ahead and ask - it's been 5+ weeks. I know it is tough to get to the bank but 5 weeks should be enough.

I have a couple of friends from whom we didn't receive a card or anything, which is fine, but it surprised me that these particular friends wouldn't have at least given a card and I keep thinking/hoping nothing was lost while at the same time hoping that they're not sitting there mad that we never sent a thankyou card either. They haven't ever inquired so I hope it just means they didn't plan to give a card and that's cool with me.

julieanne912 · October 2015

For us, almost everyone wrote the checks to our first names, and H's last name. So we had to wait until we both had time to go down to H's bank together (we don't have joint accounts) and cash them. The bank asked for a copy of the marriage license (thankfully they didn't require a county certified one cause that took a few more weeks to receive), my old ID, and a thumbprint of mine on each check. Basically, wasn't just a "run down to the bank and cash the checks" sort of thing.

I'd say give it a few more weeks. Since your mom's hasn't been cashed either that's a pretty clear sign they haven't gone to the bank yet. Annoying on your end for sure though.

wink0erin · October 2015

I'd ask nicely just to make sure they received the check, but as PP have pointed out it could be an issue with cashing the checks.

And now I'm sitting here wondering what a couple does if the bride does not change her name, but everyone sends checks to Mr. & Mrs. GroomsLastName.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

thisismynickname said:

In this day and age, given how easily things are lost and stolen, I'd politely ask about it.

Me too.

A check that was given to us at our reception was actually lost. The only way we even knew it had existed is because my friends said, "Hey, I'm guessing you never got my check since it hasn't been deposited yet!"

wink0erin said:

I'd ask nicely just to make sure they received the check, but as PP have pointed out it could be an issue with cashing the checks.
And now I'm sitting here wondering what a couple does if the bride does not change her name, but everyone sends checks to Mr. & Mrs. GroomsLastName.

This also happened to us. It's NBD, we just both had to be present to endorse the back of the check at the bank. It happens all the time.

Iamnowmrsjms · October 2015

Thank you, all!

I made the check out to the bride with her maiden name. H and I were married 3 weeks ago and did run into a few issues w checks addressed to Mr and Mrs H's Last Name. I am in the process of legally changing my name and we don't have a joint account yet.

We cashed our checks and wrote all of our thank you's the following week (we went on a 3 day "mini moon" after the wedding, so we were home to get these things done).

I'll give it another week and then politely ask to make sure it was received.

Annoying to look at my bank balance and subtract "x amount" from it.

redwoodoriginal · October 2015

RachelLee83 said:

I'd wait Both my husband and I do mostly online banking we don't often find time to run to the bank to cash checks. We usually wait until we have a few, about once a month and do them all together. I don't think it's rude at all to be honest, they left right after their wedding for their honeymoon now they are back who knows dealing with what. They may not have had time yet. I'd also wait a little bit longer to see if you get a thank you note in the mail. You wrote the check balance your check book and consider it money spent even if they never cash it. since your mothers hasn't been cashed either I highly doubt it was lost.

I don't remember the last time I went to a bank in person. Wait, it was for my wedding 16 months ago. I still get checks and online deposit them. So, online banking isn't really an excuse unless your bank doesn't have mobile deposits yet, which, if it's a local bank might be the case, but almost all major banks have that option now.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

redwoodoriginal said:

RachelLee83 said:

I'd wait Both my husband and I do mostly online banking we don't often find time to run to the bank to cash checks. We usually wait until we have a few, about once a month and do them all together. I don't think it's rude at all to be honest, they left right after their wedding for their honeymoon now they are back who knows dealing with what. They may not have had time yet. I'd also wait a little bit longer to see if you get a thank you note in the mail. You wrote the check balance your check book and consider it money spent even if they never cash it. since your mothers hasn't been cashed either I highly doubt it was lost.

I don't remember the last time I went to a bank in person. Wait, it was for my wedding 16 months ago. I still get checks and online deposit them. So, online banking isn't really an excuse unless your bank doesn't have mobile deposits yet, which, if it's a local bank might be the case, but almost all major banks have that option now.

Think I missed your point? If you online bank most of the time you don't go to the bank for us it's out of the way and kind of a pain.. so it took us awhile. It's really not annoying to subtract the money from your account you've already spent. Simple check and balance.

artbyallie · October 2015

RachelLee83 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

RachelLee83 said:

I'd wait Both my husband and I do mostly online banking we don't often find time to run to the bank to cash checks. We usually wait until we have a few, about once a month and do them all together. I don't think it's rude at all to be honest, they left right after their wedding for their honeymoon now they are back who knows dealing with what. They may not have had time yet. I'd also wait a little bit longer to see if you get a thank you note in the mail. You wrote the check balance your check book and consider it money spent even if they never cash it. since your mothers hasn't been cashed either I highly doubt it was lost.

I don't remember the last time I went to a bank in person. Wait, it was for my wedding 16 months ago. I still get checks and online deposit them. So, online banking isn't really an excuse unless your bank doesn't have mobile deposits yet, which, if it's a local bank might be the case, but almost all major banks have that option now.

Think I missed your point? If you online bank most of the time you don't go to the bank for us it's out of the way and kind of a pain.. so it took us awhile. It's really not annoying to subtract the money from your account you've already spent. Simple check and balance.

Her point was that you don't necessarily have to go to a physical bank to deposit a check because so many now offer the ability to do so with your phone.

Jen4948 · October 2015

I would give it one more week and then politely ask if they received the check.

littlestmonkey · October 2015

I think it took us 6 weeks after the wedding to cash checks that we had been given. We didn't have a joint account prior to the wedding (not for wont of trying!) and then it took us another 3 attempts to open a joint savings account at my husband's credit union before we could finally cash our checks. Neither my husband's credit union nor my bank would let us cash checks in both names in an account with only one name on it.

None of the guests who gave us checks asked why it had taken us so long (thank you cards had already gone out so they knew we received the check) but I wouldn't have minded if they had - I would have just explained the situation and hopefully they would have understood!

LD1970 · October 2015

RachelLee83 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

RachelLee83 said:

I'd wait Both my husband and I do mostly online banking we don't often find time to run to the bank to cash checks. We usually wait until we have a few, about once a month and do them all together. I don't think it's rude at all to be honest, they left right after their wedding for their honeymoon now they are back who knows dealing with what. They may not have had time yet. I'd also wait a little bit longer to see if you get a thank you note in the mail. You wrote the check balance your check book and consider it money spent even if they never cash it. since your mothers hasn't been cashed either I highly doubt it was lost.

I don't remember the last time I went to a bank in person. Wait, it was for my wedding 16 months ago. I still get checks and online deposit them. So, online banking isn't really an excuse unless your bank doesn't have mobile deposits yet, which, if it's a local bank might be the case, but almost all major banks have that option now.

Think I missed your point? If you online bank most of the time you don't go to the bank for us it's out of the way and kind of a pain.. so it took us awhile. It's really not annoying to subtract the money from your account you've already spent. Simple check and balance.

***

Yeah, actually it really IS annoying to have uncashed checks out there. It's obnoxious.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

LD1970 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

RachelLee83 said:

I'd wait Both my husband and I do mostly online banking we don't often find time to run to the bank to cash checks. We usually wait until we have a few, about once a month and do them all together. I don't think it's rude at all to be honest, they left right after their wedding for their honeymoon now they are back who knows dealing with what. They may not have had time yet. I'd also wait a little bit longer to see if you get a thank you note in the mail. You wrote the check balance your check book and consider it money spent even if they never cash it. since your mothers hasn't been cashed either I highly doubt it was lost.

I don't remember the last time I went to a bank in person. Wait, it was for my wedding 16 months ago. I still get checks and online deposit them. So, online banking isn't really an excuse unless your bank doesn't have mobile deposits yet, which, if it's a local bank might be the case, but almost all major banks have that option now.

Think I missed your point? If you online bank most of the time you don't go to the bank for us it's out of the way and kind of a pain.. so it took us awhile. It's really not annoying to subtract the money from your account you've already spent. Simple check and balance.
*** Yeah, actually it really IS annoying to have uncashed checks out there. It's obnoxious.

I agree. . . which is why I give cash ;-)

Iamnowmrsjms · October 2015

Lesson Learned-give cash

[Deleted User] · October 2015

Iamnowmrsjms said:

Lesson Learned-give cash

But that worries me because what if the envelope gets lost? At least with a check I either know if they got it or know if they haven't cashed it yet.

PrettyGirlLost · October 2015

adk19 said:

Iamnowmrsjms said:

Lesson Learned-give cash

But that worries me because what if the envelope gets lost? At least with a check I either know if they got it or know if they haven't cashed it yet.

Meh, then it gets lost I guess. Either way the money isn't in my account anymore. I hate having to sit on a couple hundred dollars for weeks on end, waiting for it to be deducted from my account.

Luckily we have never had an envelope go missing.

ryanandjoe4 · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

adk19 said:

Iamnowmrsjms said:

Lesson Learned-give cash

But that worries me because what if the envelope gets lost? At least with a check I either know if they got it or know if they haven't cashed it yet.

Meh, then it gets lost I guess. Either way the money isn't in my account anymore. I hate having to sit on a couple hundred dollars for weeks on end, waiting for it to be deducted from my account.

Luckily we have never had an envelope go missing.

I don't mail cash, so if I am mailing it I do a gift card.. if I am bringing it to an event throw cash in the card, done.. if they lose the envelope after I give it to them maybe they should be better at keeping track of things..

LD1970 · October 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

LD1970 said:

redwoodoriginal said:

RachelLee83 said:

I'd wait Both my husband and I do mostly online banking we don't often find time to run to the bank to cash checks. We usually wait until we have a few, about once a month and do them all together. I don't think it's rude at all to be honest, they left right after their wedding for their honeymoon now they are back who knows dealing with what. They may not have had time yet. I'd also wait a little bit longer to see if you get a thank you note in the mail. You wrote the check balance your check book and consider it money spent even if they never cash it. since your mothers hasn't been cashed either I highly doubt it was lost.

I don't remember the last time I went to a bank in person. Wait, it was for my wedding 16 months ago. I still get checks and online deposit them. So, online banking isn't really an excuse unless your bank doesn't have mobile deposits yet, which, if it's a local bank might be the case, but almost all major banks have that option now.

Think I missed your point? If you online bank most of the time you don't go to the bank for us it's out of the way and kind of a pain.. so it took us awhile. It's really not annoying to subtract the money from your account you've already spent. Simple check and balance.
*** Yeah, actually it really IS annoying to have uncashed checks out there. It's obnoxious.

I agree. . . which is why I give cash ;-)

Me too.

Iamnowmrsjms · October 2015

The bride's ears must've been ringing (hopefully she doesn't read these boards!) The check was cashed yesterday!

southernbelle0915 · October 2015

thisismynickname said:
In this day and age, given how easily things are lost and stolen, I'd politely ask about it.

This.

We were doing a deep clean of our living roomroom, moving furniture and such, 6 months ago (we got married over 2 years ago) and we found a $200 check under our couch. Oops. I wish the giver had asked about it. We could have explained why we never wrote a TY note too!

One Month Post Wedding-Check Not Cashed-Can I ask?

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