Alternative wording to "giving" away the Bride

Re: Alternative wording to "giving" away the Bride

• artbyallie mod

  

  November 2015

  "Who supports this woman in her decision to be married?" is a good one IMO. Your dad can then answer, "Her mother and I." (or her father and I or just 'I do' or however your family is set up, don't want to assume)

  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  November 2015

  We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  November 2015

  artbyallie said:

  "Who supports this woman in her decision to be married?" is a good one IMO. Your dad can then answer, "Her mother and I." (or her father and I or just 'I do' or however your family is set up, don't want to assume)

  This is a good line. 

  Even better at taking any appearance of sexism out of this would be if "Who supports this man in his decision to be married?" is also said to the groom's family as well.

  Or if it is a same-sex marriage, if the same line is said to both families.
  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  November 2015

  I agree with your dad. Let him escort you down the aisle and shake your fi's hand. He can quietly say whatever he likes or nothing at all.

  
  

  If you want some kind of official question/statement, I like Jen's idea.

                     

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  November 2015

  Another vote for who supports "this woman" in this marriage and it opens up the door for his parents to do the same for him. It could be the start of a wonderful new tradition. Because we all know, even once we are married (no matter what age), we are still all our daddy's little girl, or mama's little boy.

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• princessleia22 member

  

  November 2015 edited November 2015

  My dad walked me down the aisle then we had officiant ask something along the lines of, "Who supports this couple's decision to marry?", and had all four of our parents stand and say "we do". We also felt the "giving away" wasn't quite right (especially since I got married at age 35) and thought this was a great way to include all of our parents and allow all of them to show their support.
  
  ETA: Plus, we figured that my dad doesn't have any more "claim" on me than other parents, so including all of them, not just dad, helped to further remove it from just dad giving me away.

   

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• frenchiekin member

  

  November 2015

  Similar to climbingwife... my parents both walked me down the aisle - dad shook H's hand, mom hugged H, I hugged both parents, they sat down and the ceremony began. No need to have any official statement at all if it's not important to you.

  
  

  
  

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• littlemushroom member

  

  November 2015

  My dad walked me down the aisle, hugged me, shook then-FI's hand and went and sat down. At the beginning of the ceremony, the officiant asked both sets of our parents to stand and asked "Do you give your loving support to the union of this couple?" Our parents said "we do", they were asked to be seated, and that was it. They were happy to be able to show their support, without contributing to old fashioned sexist notions.

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• JediElizabeth member

  

  November 2015

  littlemushroom said:

  My dad walked me down the aisle, hugged me, shook then-FI's hand and went and sat down. At the beginning of the ceremony, the officiant asked both sets of our parents to stand and asked "Do you give your loving support to the union of this couple?" Our parents said "we do", they were asked to be seated, and that was it. They were happy to be able to show their support, without contributing to old fashioned sexist notions.

  I love all of this.

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• YogaSandy member

  

  November 2015

  Both my parents walked me. I was adamant I wasn't being given away, since I'm not property. I don't remember exactly what the minister said. He said he doesn't support giving away or "to obey" unless both parts of the couple say it and ask for it to be in. I think he said something like : who brings this woman here today? Both my parents answered, "we do." I really like the idea of having it asked if the groom's family too. Or just skipped completely.

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  November 2015

  climbingwife said:

  We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 

  this is what we did.  Not giving away or anything like that.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• Vivandiere8 member

  

  December 2015

  lyndausvi said:

  climbingwife said:

  We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 

  this is what we did.  Not giving away or anything like that.

  Same. My Dad escorted me down the aisle, passed me off to Dh, the two of us stepped up to priest and ceremony began. But I believe in the Catholic church there isn't even an option for the "who gives away" part of the ceremony because they always wanted it perfectly clear that the bride and groom choose to give themselves away to each other freely, and no one else has a say etc.
  

  
  

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• holyguacamole79 member

  

  December 2015

  Vivandiere8 said:

  lyndausvi said:

  climbingwife said:

  We didn't make any mention of this during the ceremony. My dad walked me down the aisle, and our ceremony began. 

  this is what we did.  Not giving away or anything like that.

  Same. My Dad escorted me down the aisle, passed me off to Dh, the two of us stepped up to priest and ceremony began. But I believe in the Catholic church there isn't even an option for the "who gives away" part of the ceremony because they always wanted it perfectly clear that the bride and groom choose to give themselves away to each other freely, and no one else has a say etc.
  

  Correct.  In the Catholic marriage, the theolgy is such that the bride and groom freely give of themselves, which is why you'll (almost) never hear a priest / deacon ask "who gives this woman?" or anything like that.

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• SP29 member

  

  December 2015

  We did same as @princessleia22
  
  My dad walked me down the aisle, gave my hand to DH, then returned to his seat in the front row. All four our parents stood and answered "We do" when the officiant asked something about parents supporting the marriage.
  
  You could also leave this out entirely. Dad walks you down the aisle, greets your FI, hugs/kiss you, then returns to his seat. 

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