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Private Ceremony with Reception for all?

Knottie1439947505Knottie1439947505 member
in Destination Weddings Discussions
My Fi and I are getting married in a State Park in May.  We are only having immediate family at the actual ceremony.  2 questions really...1. Can we not invite my Fi's step brothers gf?  They just moved in together and have been dating for a few years, but are very on again off again and not engaged.  Is this possible or just going to cause hurt feelings? 
2. We are going to have a reception the next weekend for everyone to celebrate.  Should we still have a wedding shower or is it a snub since no one is invited to the actual wedding? 
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Re: Private Ceremony with Reception for all?

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    redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Knottie1439947505 said:
    My Fi and I are getting married in a State Park in May.  We are only having immediate family at the actual ceremony.  2 questions really...1. Can we not invite my Fi's step brothers gf?  They just moved in together and have been dating for a few years, but are very on again off again and not engaged.  Is this possible or just going to cause hurt feelings? 
    2. We are going to have a reception the next weekend for everyone to celebrate.  Should we still have a wedding shower or is it a snub since no one is invited to the actual wedding? 

    1) It is rude to invite only half a couple. So if your FI's step-brother is invited, you need to invite the gf. The fact that they aren't engaged doesn't matter. 
    2) Yes, it would be a snub. Shower guest lists can only be taken from those invited to your actual ceremony. It comes off as very gift grabby, since you're essentially saying they aren't important enough to see you get married and are only good for the gift they'll bring to the shower.
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    holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie1439947505 said:
    My Fi and I are getting married in a State Park in May.  We are only having immediate family at the actual ceremony.  2 questions really...1. Can we not invite my Fi's step brothers gf?  They just moved in together and have been dating for a few years, but are very on again off again and not engaged.  Is this possible or just going to cause hurt feelings? 
    2. We are going to have a reception the next weekend for everyone to celebrate.  Should we still have a wedding shower or is it a snub since no one is invited to the actual wedding? 
    1).  If you invite FI's step-brother, you need to invite his GF.  The only exception would be if they break up before you send out the invites.  You should invite the significant other of any guest, regardless of the length of their relationship.
    2).  Your reception immediately follows your wedding and you need to invite anyone who attends.  What you'd have would be a celebration of your marriage.  And, no - no wedding showers.




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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2015
    Knottie1439947505 said:
    My Fi and I are getting married in a State Park in May.  We are only having immediate family at the actual ceremony.  2 questions really...1. Can we not invite my Fi's step brothers gf?  They just moved in together and have been dating for a few years, but are very on again off again and not engaged.  Is this possible or just going to cause hurt feelings? 
    2. We are going to have a reception the next weekend for everyone to celebrate.  Should we still have a wedding shower or is it a snub since no one is invited to the actual wedding? 
    1.  Yes you have to invite her.  Aren't you going to take these people out somewhere for lunch or dinner after your ceremony?  You should!  This would be your wedding reception, for your guests.  It can be as simple as pizza.  You need to do this!

    2.  No, this is not your wedding reception.  That was after your ceremony for your guests.  This is simply a party to celebrate.  Any guests that attend a shower MUST be invited to the wedding in the park.  No exceptions!

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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    1) All SOs must be invited. That includes the gf.
    2) No you should not have a shower if these people aren't invited to the wedding.

    Also, whatever event you're having later isn't a wedding reception because a reception is what happens immediately following the ceremony to thank people for coming. What you're having is a celebration of marriage party. And that's totally cool, as long as you don't pretend it's a reception. So that means no wedding traditions such as first dances, cake cutting, bridesmaids, big white dress.... You get the idea. It's just a fancy party to celebrate something you've already done and to which those guests were not invited.
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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    All SO's need to be invited, regardless of how long they have been together or how you judge the relationship.  

    Do not have a bridal shower.  It would be incredibly rude to ask people to give you gifts if they are not invited to the ceremony.  You also can't throw your own shower anyways.  


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