My FMIL has offered to throw me a bridal shower in FI's hometown.FI and I have been dating for 6 years now, so I have become friends with the wives and girlfriends of his bridal party, and his immediate family (cousins, aunts, etc...)
His hometown is about 2 1/2 hours from where we live, so it makes sense for me to go to them as opposed to them coming to me. I wouldn't want to drive over 2 hours for a party that will last about 3 hours.
FMIL sent me a guest list and it has close to 40 woman on it. I know about 50% of the guest list, which are the friends and family I would like to invite. I asked her if we could possibly cut the list down some, and she says "it's small town politics" to invite EVERYONE and people would be upset and hurt if they were not invited. Also that she doesn't want anyone to talk bad about her or I and that they probably won't come anyways. I told her I don't want to look "gift grabby" by inviting people I don't know and people FI probably hasn't seen in years (they are invited to the wedding) and was told "it's what you do in a small town so you don't understand" She also wants to hire a professional photographer because "think of all the memories!"
FI asked me how the bridal shower planning was coming along, so I filled him in. He also does not think all these extra people should be invited and he does not like the idea of her hiring a photographer. He talked to her last night just to voice some concerns and she seemed understanding the first time he talked to her. She said the guest list is workable and her list was just a suggestion. Five minutes after their talk, she texted him and said maybe she shouldn't throw me a shower since it seems like I don't want one anyways because I don't want the whole town invited. He called her back and asked her why she was saying that if she just said something completely different? This back and forth went on for almost an hour (I have never been so happy to be at work) It ended with her texting us both saying she will not be responding to us for the rest of the night because she does not feel like being criticized anymore.....
Were we wrong in asking her to cut the list down a bit? I thought a shower was supposed to be close friends and family. We still have 4 months before the shower, so I'm not really sure why she's acting like this needs to be taken care of now. She is giving us the "it's all or nothing" vibe.....
WWTKD?