Wedding Etiquette Forum

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Re: Guest vent

  • Thankfully our wedding isn't until April so no invites. Here is my dilemma. This is my son's sensei at his dojo ( the entire dojo was there- that was the circle of friends) so my son is hurt too but he loves that dojo (he's a brown belt )

    It's probably time for your son to learn that there are people in life who will disappoint you, and that sometimes you have to decide when it is time to move on. I sure as Hell wouldn't continue to patronize this person's business, or allow them to pretend to be my friend. That sucks, I'm sorry :(
  • Thankfully our wedding isn't until April so no invites. Here is my dilemma. This is my son's sensei at his dojo ( the entire dojo was there- that was the circle of friends) so my son is hurt too but he loves that dojo (he's a brown belt )

    This is coming from the W of a Karate Master, so I will base my answer off of what I have learned from H running his own school.

    Can you easily find a dojo that teaches similarly to what your son is currently learning? My H's school was very old school and students he would get that started at other schools were very below, technique-wise, the same belted students from his school. Some schools just bestow belts upon unqualified students to keep the parents thinking that their child is advanced and learning a lot! He also had many students leave for his competition and come back because they were not learning at their level.

    So, if you can find a new school that teaches at a similar level, then leave this school. But if your son's current dojo is the best fit for him, then stick to his current facility. Use this as a teaching moment for your son that you can't always do what you want. Keep the relationship at the dojo as business oriented as possible.

    I'm also so confused that the sensei invited the entire dojo to the wedding. I couldn't imagine trying to invite my H's entire school plus their parents to our wedding. It would have added at least 60 people to our guest list!
  • Thankfully our wedding isn't until April so no invites. Here is my dilemma. This is my son's sensei at his dojo ( the entire dojo was there- that was the circle of friends) so my son is hurt too but he loves that dojo (he's a brown belt )

    I'd explain that while these people may be very good at teaching martial arts, they're not good at treating people well. There is an element of respect for others in most martial arts; maybe it's time to find a new dojo.
  • If you and your son are currently happy with his participation and training at the dojo, then I would keep the relationship professional but end the friendship.
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