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moving to Europe before the wedding

LindsayGraham64LindsayGraham64 member
in Registry and Gift Forum

My fiancé and I are moving to Europe before our wedding, and then flying back to the States to get married. We are trying to figure out how to have a wedding shower before leaving, but we don't know what to ask for besides cash. Any ideas on how to ask for gift cards that can be used abroad, or just cash? We still want to celebrate with family and friends, but a shower without gifts seems strange.

Advice on a wedding registry also appreciated. Thanks!

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Re: moving to Europe before the wedding

  • justsiejustsie member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    LindsayGraham64 said:

    My fiancé and I are moving to Europe before our wedding, and then flying back to the States to get married. We are trying to figure out how to have a wedding shower before leaving, but we don't know what to ask for besides cash. Any ideas on how to ask for gift cards that can be used abroad, or just cash? We still want to celebrate with family and friends, but a shower without gifts seems strange.

    Advice on a wedding registry also appreciated. Thanks!

    Did someone offer to throw you a shower? And you are correct, a shower without gifts is strange because the exact purpose of a shower is to "shower" the guest of honor with gifts. Honestly, unless you are planning on shipping all of these items to your new location, I would just tell the person offering to host a shower thank you but no thank you and call it a day.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    LindsayGraham64 said:

    My fiancé and I are moving to Europe before our wedding, and then flying back to the States to get married. We are trying to figure out how to have a wedding shower before leaving, but we don't know what to ask for besides cash. Any ideas on how to ask for gift cards that can be used abroad, or just cash? We still want to celebrate with family and friends, but a shower without gifts seems strange.

    Advice on a wedding registry also appreciated. Thanks!

    It's not acceptable to have a cash or gift card shower.  Showers are for physical, tangible gifts.  If you don't want physical, tangible gifts then you don't have a shower.



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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    Say nothing about cash, recognize that most people get that you are moving and may choose to either give cash or give smaller easy to pack gifts like tea towels and spatulas, accept all gifts including large ones gratefully, send prompt thank you notes, and arrange to ship gifts over or return anything that is both inconveniently large and came with a gift receipt.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    Asking for cash is tacky.

    Even if asking for cash wasn't tacky  most gift cards do NOT works outside the US anyway. Even the VISA, MC and AMEX ones.   I lived in the islands. Some people decided to give me some gift cards.   It was very nice and we still appreciated them, but we were not able to use them at our home.  We ended up just using them for our travel expenses while we were in the states.   We were whipping out the gift cards to pay for the gas in our rental car simply just to use it up before the fees for non-use kicked in.

    Some of them do work, but the average person isn't going to know to even look, let alone search them out.


    I still had a shower in the states.  It was I shipped some of the items to the islands.  The rest I took in an extra suitcase I had brought with me.    Since nothing was going to be returned, I took most things out of it's packaging to fit in the suitcase/box better.  In my case BB&B shipped to me, so I did take a few items back and had BB&B reship them to my home.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • levioosalevioosa member
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    Don't ask for cash.  It's very rude.  You don't get a shower unless someone offers to throw you one.  If that doesn't happen, oh well.  In addition, the purpose of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts," so if you don't actually want physical gifts, then there's no point in having a shower anyways.  


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  • loro929loro929 member
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    edited October 2015
    lyndausvi said:
    Asking for cash is tacky.

    Even if asking for cash wasn't tacky  most gift cards do NOT works outside the US anyway. Even the VISA, MC and AMEX ones.   I lived in the islands. Some people decided to give me some gift cards.   It was very nice and we still appreciated them, but we were not able to use them at our home.  We ended up just using them for our travel expenses while we were in the states.   We were whipping out the gift cards to pay for the gas in our rental car simply just to use it up before the fees for non-use kicked in.

    Some of them do work, but the average person isn't going to know to even look, let alone search them out.


    I still had a shower in the states.  It was I shipped some of the items to the islands.  The rest I took in an extra suitcase I had brought with me.    Since nothing was going to be returned, I took most things out of it's packaging to fit in the suitcase/box better.  In my case BB&B shipped to me, so I did take a few items back and had BB&B reship them to my home.

    This. I currently live in Spain, although I was born and raised in NJ. I flew back to the US for my shower, which my MOHs generously threw for me. I brought extra suitcases with me and packed them tight. We specifically did not register for any electrical appliances - as the voltage is different in Europe - and mostly registered for things that were easy to transport (new towels, sheets, some new pots and pans, a pizza stone that I really wanted ;-))It was no problem, and paying for the extra suitcases was much cheaper then shipping everything.

    The only thing that I received that is still sitting in my parents house because I haven't figured out how to get it here, yet, is the formal china set that I was given. Since it is so delicate, I did not want to pack it in my suitcase and I haven't figured out the best way to safely get it to me yet, so that is  still a work in progress... so my advice to you, if you plan on staying in Europe for a while, don't register for delicate things - its a risk if you need to ship them.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I don't know if this would work, but see if you can have things from amazon shipped to you in Europe & if so register there? Have a recipe shower (easy to transport those back) or just a afternoon tea. When guests ask the hostess about where you are registered, they can tell the guests on amazon but to please have any gifts shipped directly to you as it will be difficult for you pack up & ship items back home. I know ideally the guest wants to see you open the gifts, but hopefully the guests would understand the challenges of you taking the gifts back with you. Then if a guest really wants to give you a gift but doesn't want to go that route, they can always give you money if they want.

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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    Erikan73 said:

    I don't know if this would work, but see if you can have things from amazon shipped to you in Europe & if so register there? Have a recipe shower (easy to transport those back) or just a afternoon tea. When guests ask the hostess about where you are registered, they can tell the guests on amazon but to please have any gifts shipped directly to you as it will be difficult for you pack up & ship items back home. I know ideally the guest wants to see you open the gifts, but hopefully the guests would understand the challenges of you taking the gifts back with you. Then if a guest really wants to give you a gift but doesn't want to go that route, they can always give you money if they want.

    Please don't do this. It's the bride's job to get gifts home from the shower. If she can't figure out a way to ship them, she should decline the shower. 

    Asking people to pay to ship gifts to Europe is really rude. 
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