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justsie · November 2015

SeptemberBride2016 said:

Alright let me know if I feel justified in this. My fiance and I dated for nearly a year when we got engaged. I was out of the state for the proposal (at Disney!!) and had already called all of our immediate family. I posted that same day on Facebook about the engagement. Fast forward two months and a family member has just gotten engaged after us. She has a "surprise" engagement party. Her mother and herself started making remarks on how inappropriate it was to post on social media before everyone knew. Every family gathering since everyone has been focused on her upcoming wedding since she decided she had to be married before us. I feel as if she has stolen our weddings thunder by bringing all the focus back on herself. Even when someone asks me a wedding related question she butts in to discuss her own plans. It is getting rather frustrating and I am dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas.

You get one day, she gets one day. That's it. So no, I think you need to take a deep breath and get over it.

randomslove · November 2015

Unless she literally gets engaged or married at a bridal shower, engagement party or wedding that is yours and your FI's it's pretty hard for her to be stealing your thunder. However, I think it's rude that she butts in when you are asked a wedding question.

photokitty · November 2015

Unlike lighting, wedding thunder is not a real thing. She can get married whenever. Get over it and just and talking about wedding stuff around her. She and your aunt sound annoying, but no, you're not justified in feeling this way.

JediElizabeth · November 2015

SeptemberBride2016 said:

Alright let me know if I feel justified in this. My fiance and I dated for nearly a year when we got engaged. I was out of the state for the proposal (at Disney!!) and had already called all of our immediate family. I posted that same day on Facebook about the engagement. Fast forward two months and a family member has just gotten engaged after us. She has a "surprise" engagement party. Her mother and herself started making remarks on how inappropriate it was to post on social media before everyone knew. Every family gathering since everyone has been focused on her upcoming wedding since she decided she had to be married before us. I feel as if she has stolen our weddings thunder by bringing all the focus back on herself. Even when someone asks me a wedding related question she butts in to discuss her own plans. It is getting rather frustrating and I am dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Agree with PPs about 1 day. That said, I can see the bolded getting super old fast. You get one day. She gets one day. But you should both at least be able to answer questions or tell people about yours without her making it all about her (if that's what she's doing).

kimmiinthemitten · November 2015

JediElizabeth said:

SeptemberBride2016 said:

Alright let me know if I feel justified in this. My fiance and I dated for nearly a year when we got engaged. I was out of the state for the proposal (at Disney!!) and had already called all of our immediate family. I posted that same day on Facebook about the engagement. Fast forward two months and a family member has just gotten engaged after us. She has a "surprise" engagement party. Her mother and herself started making remarks on how inappropriate it was to post on social media before everyone knew. Every family gathering since everyone has been focused on her upcoming wedding since she decided she had to be married before us. I feel as if she has stolen our weddings thunder by bringing all the focus back on herself. Even when someone asks me a wedding related question she butts in to discuss her own plans. It is getting rather frustrating and I am dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Agree with PPs about 1 day. That said, I can see the bolded getting super old fast. You get one day. She gets one day. But you should both at least be able to answer questions or tell people about yours without her making it all about her (if that's what she's doing).

Yeah, it sounds like cousin and aunt are trying to engage you in a petty war of the brides and you're taking the bait. Let them be petty, their poor behavior will reflect poorly on you and only you.

A friend in my circle got engaged after me and is getting married before me; and since that group of friends is all from the catering/event planning industry our weddings come up a lot and I usually defect to her because, really, how much is there to talk about?

Friend: How's wedding planning going?
Me: Great, we picked a color palette of purples and greens and blushes and booked our photographer. *crickets*

southernbelle0915 · November 2015

If you're trying to one up her in order to garner more attention, hire flame jugglers, invite Obama, arrive on an elephant...

And make sure you talk about your wedding louder than she does when at family gatherings. MAKE people remember you're getting married too.

drunkenwitch · November 2015

People don't stop getting engaged just because you do, life goes on. Unless you're Thor, you don't have thunder that can be "stolen".

[Deleted User] · November 2015

SeptemberBride2016 said:

Alright let me know if I feel justified in this. My fiance and I dated for nearly a year when we got engaged. I was out of the state for the proposal (at Disney!!) and had already called all of our immediate family. I posted that same day on Facebook about the engagement. Fast forward two months and a family member has just gotten engaged after us. She has a "surprise" engagement party. Her mother and herself started making remarks on how inappropriate it was to post on social media before everyone knew. Every family gathering since everyone has been focused on her upcoming wedding since she decided she had to be married before us. I feel as if she has stolen our weddings thunder by bringing all the focus back on herself. Even when someone asks me a wedding related question she butts in to discuss her own plans. It is getting rather frustrating and I am dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I got goosebumps when I read your subject line, I was so excited. I love hearing about thunder-stealing!!!

I think your cousin is annoying, but she is in zero ways stealing your thunder. Plan your wedding, get married, live your life. Stop worrying about other people.

lembaslover · November 2015

She sounds annoying but I agree with PPs, she's not stealing your thunder. Honestly I thought it was nice having someone get married before us. We went to their wedding a few weeks before ours and it was like a checklist of what to not forget (and also what not to do...) Just ignore them for the holidays and grab another glass of wine when they get too hard to handle!

frenchiekin · November 2015

SeptemberBride2016 said:

Alright let me know if I feel justified in this. My fiance and I dated for nearly a year when we got engaged. I was out of the state for the proposal (at Disney!!) and had already called all of our immediate family. I posted that same day on Facebook about the engagement. Fast forward two months and a family member has just gotten engaged after us. She has a "surprise" engagement party. Her mother and herself started making remarks on how inappropriate it was to post on social media before everyone knew. This is not their business. Ignore this. You told your immediate family beforehand. If I had to call up every extended family member before posting on FB, it would have been a month later. They are being petty. She also threw her own engagement party (it sounds like) which I think is more offensive than not telling everyone you know in person before posting it. Every family gathering since everyone has been focused on her upcoming wedding since she decided she had to be married before us. It's ok for her to do this. Just because you got engaged first doesn't mean she has to wait for you to get married first. You each get one day, whenever you and FIs want that day to be. I feel as if she has stolen our weddings thunder by bringing all the focus back on herself. Even when someone asks me a wedding related question she butts in to discuss her own plans. She is super annoying, but that is on her. She can't "steal your thunder" if you don't let her. Stop discussing your wedding around her and don't feed into her immaturity. It is getting rather frustrating and I am dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas. Don't! That is sad. Don't let this ruin your holiday. Accept that you each get one day, and everyone knows you are still getting married too. Let this go and you will look like the adult in the situation. The holidays aren't about petty wedding contests. They are about wine and cheese.

ETA - my comments in bold.

banana468 · November 2015

They sound annoying but you need to let it go. Some people need to be the center of attention. If she wasn't engaged she'd come up with a way to be the center of attention. Why do you think gender reveal parties have come into vogue? Some people just can't stop.

kmmssg · November 2015

I definitely agree that cousin and aunty are baiting you into a war of the brides. Back away from them.

Jen4948 · November 2015

If your cousin and aunt comment any more about your posting on Facebook about your engagement, I'd respond, "That's not what happened, and I disagree with you about it being rude. This conversation is over." Then exit the scene.

If your cousin butts into conversations about your wedding to talk about hers, say, "m-hm" and change the subject back to your wedding. If she keeps doing it, I think you can firmly say to her, "Cousin, we'll be happy to discuss your wedding when it actually is the topic of conversation, but now is not such a time."

MGP · November 2015

drunkenwitch said:

People don't stop getting engaged just because you do, life goes on. Unless you're Thor, you don't have thunder that can be "stolen".

But guys what about the "shine"! We hear all the time about shine being stolen too!

drunkenwitch · November 2015

MGP said:

drunkenwitch said:

People don't stop getting engaged just because you do, life goes on. Unless you're Thor, you don't have thunder that can be "stolen".

But guys what about the "shine"! We hear all the time about shine being stolen too!

Got you covered for that

julieanne912 · November 2015

You got engaged at Disney? How incredibly unique.

JediElizabeth · November 2015

julieanne912 said:

You got engaged at Disney? How incredibly unique.

Funny how most brides who want something **unique** are told here not to be a special snowflake who can't handle others using her venue, or color scheme, or whatever. Then when someone does something they love but that lots of couples do, they still get mean girl snark.

Give me a break. It's awesome that OP got engaged somewhere she's happy about, no matter how many other people got engaged there as well.

AddieCake · November 2015

I have to side with Elizabeth. Mocking OP getting engaged at Disney? Not cool. It's not like she came on CLAIMING it was unique.

OP, your relatives are annoying. But that's all. Just roll your eyes and move on.

SeptemberBride2016 · November 2015

Yes I did get engaged at Disney. I have dreamed of it ever since I was a little girl. My fiance wanted me to have my dream proposal so that is what he did. I see nothing wrong with getting engaged there. I never said it was unique. A friend had gotten engaged in "France" in Epcot a year earlier. I knew that it wasn't something unique but it was perfect for me.

Jen4948 · November 2015

julieanne912 said:

You got engaged at Disney? How incredibly unique.

#sowhat

hellohkb · November 2015

What Jen and AddieCake said. I think Disney rules -shrug-. Mocking somewhere for where they got engaged is hella lame.

Anyway, I'm just going to echo what PPs said. She's being SO rude and I would be the better person and rise above the competition. Jen gave you some pretty good wording in her initial post.

danindi · November 2015

It sounds like they are probably annoying people, with or without a wedding. But seriously, don't sweat it. As the kids say, "YOLO".

And don't sweat petty people on the internet who want to pointlessly snark about Disney. I worked in those theme parks for 4 years and hated every second of it, and I still can tell you sincerely: "that's great". Capping off a fun vacation with a surprise like that is pretty A+++.

justsuzie · November 2015

julieanne912 said:

You got engaged at Disney? How incredibly unique.

julieanne912 · November 2015

I wasn't mocking it at all, I don't mind Disney myself. It's just that the OP was over in the burlap and mason jars thread talking about how her wedding will probably be SO unique because she's not going with a "theme" and just picking out things she likes. Just think it's funny that she thinks her wedding will be SO unique with no "theme", but yet it all started with something that's very UNunique.... in a theme park.

downtondiva · December 2015

Sure, your relatives sound annoying, but nobody's stealing your thunder. Jen put it very well how you can make sure you have a chance to talk about your wedding if that's what you want. Beyond that, just enjoy planning your wedding and don't worry about what other people are doing.

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