Wedding Etiquette Forum

Had to Share

1235

Re: Had to Share

  • @JediElizabeth , I totally agree that the B&G should be responsible for paying for rooms that are not booked.  I know my parents would never let someone reserve a room at their B&B without a deposit.  And even still, if a couple called like that, their response would be something like "there is still some uncertainty regarding the room block.  We'll confirm and get back to you."  
  • UPDATE! 

    An entirely different cabin dweller, from the first two I mentioned, refuses to stay in the house tried to book a hotel room and when she called the inn keeper told her he has to confirm with the bride and groom...
    Room blocks to not usually work that way, but they can.  Basically the couple holds the reservations and can distribute them has they will.    

     I had a guy rent 5 rooms for a wedding.  All in his name.  Then he called me to say who was staying in what room.   The guests individually paid for the room.   Not common for a wedding, but not unheard of either. 

    Of course, we know in this case there are other motives.  








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • UPDATE! 

    An entirely different cabin dweller, from the first two I mentioned, refuses to stay in the house tried to book a hotel room and when she called the inn keeper told her he has to confirm with the bride and groom...
    That seems very unprofessional.  Either take my reservation now, or I'm not staying at your site.  And then I'd call the couple to personally decline since they are interfering with guest booking.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Yeah, I would have declined before but the way they're acting is atrocious.   You don't get to tell me how much I need to spend to attend your wedding.    And if you keep talking that way about me then I don't want you in my life anymore.   
  • UPDATE! 

    An entirely different cabin dweller, from the first two I mentioned, refuses to stay in the house tried to book a hotel room and when she called the inn keeper told her he has to confirm with the bride and groom...
    That seems very unprofessional.  Either take my reservation now, or I'm not staying at your site.  And then I'd call the couple to personally decline since they are interfering with guest booking.
    I am NOT advocating the behavior of this couple.  Because it's bizarre how much control they want on where their guests stay.  Really bizarre.

    However, I'm going to defend the inn keeper.   The inn most likely has a contract with the couple directly. Unlike most room blocks that are held on the group's behalf, it sounds like they are actually the couple's rooms to distribute as they will.     It would be unprofessional of the inn keeper to sell rooms that are already booked by the couple.

    For example, I had a Mr P booked 5 rooms in his name for a wedding.  One of his guests called to pick out the best of those rooms.  I had to tell them I could not work with them because the reservations are under Mr P's name, not them.  Only Mr P can tell me who gets what unit (he booked different room types).

     Another guest called to reserve a room for the wedding.  I didn't have any other rooms. They said, the Mr P had some rooms.  Well again, I'm not able to sell those because they are reserved for Mr P's and he didn't give me permission to sell them to his guests.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • If the couple really is on the hook for these new rooms, and are willing to put their own money down on them and yet are still stressing about the rental houses... then that really makes me think before this B&B came into the picture, that this couple did not have enough rooms for everyone (otherwise, why would they be willing to put money down on rooms that are more than they need?)

    So badly planned... so so bad...
  • lyndausvi said:
    UPDATE! 

    An entirely different cabin dweller, from the first two I mentioned, refuses to stay in the house tried to book a hotel room and when she called the inn keeper told her he has to confirm with the bride and groom...
    That seems very unprofessional.  Either take my reservation now, or I'm not staying at your site.  And then I'd call the couple to personally decline since they are interfering with guest booking.
    I am NOT advocating the behavior of this couple.  Because it's bizarre how much control they want on where their guests stay.  Really bizarre.

    However, I'm going to defend the inn keeper.   The inn most likely has a contract with the couple directly. Unlike most room blocks that are held on the group's behalf, it sounds like they are actually the couple's rooms to distribute as they will.     It would be unprofessional of the inn keeper to sell rooms that are already booked by the couple.

    For example, I had a Mr P booked 5 rooms in his name for a wedding.  One of his guests called to pick out the best of those rooms.  I had to tell them I could not work with them because the reservations are under Mr P's name, not them.  Only Mr P can tell me who gets what unit (he booked different room types).

     Another guest called to reserve a room for the wedding.  I didn't have any other rooms. They said, the Mr P had some rooms.  Well again, I'm not able to sell those because they are reserved for Mr P's and he didn't give me permission to sell them to his guests.
    It's possible the inn has a contract with the B&G, but then I'd expect them to use the direct language you used in your example.  "I need to check with the B&G" came off to me that they were just being complicit in the micromanaging.

    But, all the more reason I'd decline this wedding.  This is a clusterfuck, truly.  There's no place out in BFE PA that's so gorge and magical that I'd want to go through all this crap in order to get married/attend a wedding.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • lyndausvi said:
    UPDATE! 

    An entirely different cabin dweller, from the first two I mentioned, refuses to stay in the house tried to book a hotel room and when she called the inn keeper told her he has to confirm with the bride and groom...
    That seems very unprofessional.  Either take my reservation now, or I'm not staying at your site.  And then I'd call the couple to personally decline since they are interfering with guest booking.
    I am NOT advocating the behavior of this couple.  Because it's bizarre how much control they want on where their guests stay.  Really bizarre.

    However, I'm going to defend the inn keeper.   The inn most likely has a contract with the couple directly. Unlike most room blocks that are held on the group's behalf, it sounds like they are actually the couple's rooms to distribute as they will.     It would be unprofessional of the inn keeper to sell rooms that are already booked by the couple.

    For example, I had a Mr P booked 5 rooms in his name for a wedding.  One of his guests called to pick out the best of those rooms.  I had to tell them I could not work with them because the reservations are under Mr P's name, not them.  Only Mr P can tell me who gets what unit (he booked different room types).

     Another guest called to reserve a room for the wedding.  I didn't have any other rooms. They said, the Mr P had some rooms.  Well again, I'm not able to sell those because they are reserved for Mr P's and he didn't give me permission to sell them to his guests.
    It's possible the inn has a contract with the B&G, but then I'd expect them to use the direct language you used in your example.  "I need to check with the B&G" came off to me that they were just being complicit in the micromanaging.

    But, all the more reason I'd decline this wedding.  This is a clusterfuck, truly.  There's no place out in BFE PA that's so gorge and magical that I'd want to go through all this crap in order to get married/attend a wedding.


    This. If B&G booked the rooms, the receptionist would have (probably) told the caller that they were booked. The "check with B&G" doesn't seem right for Lynda's example.

    For the DW we didn't have, rooms at the resort were filling up quick. My mom booked like 8 rooms to ensure everyone would get a room. If Joe Schmo called for a room, they wouldn't have told him to check with Mrs. Bridemom, they'd say they were booked.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • lyndausvi said:
    UPDATE! 

    An entirely different cabin dweller, from the first two I mentioned, refuses to stay in the house tried to book a hotel room and when she called the inn keeper told her he has to confirm with the bride and groom...
    That seems very unprofessional.  Either take my reservation now, or I'm not staying at your site.  And then I'd call the couple to personally decline since they are interfering with guest booking.
    I am NOT advocating the behavior of this couple.  Because it's bizarre how much control they want on where their guests stay.  Really bizarre.

    However, I'm going to defend the inn keeper.   The inn most likely has a contract with the couple directly. Unlike most room blocks that are held on the group's behalf, it sounds like they are actually the couple's rooms to distribute as they will.     It would be unprofessional of the inn keeper to sell rooms that are already booked by the couple.

    For example, I had a Mr P booked 5 rooms in his name for a wedding.  One of his guests called to pick out the best of those rooms.  I had to tell them I could not work with them because the reservations are under Mr P's name, not them.  Only Mr P can tell me who gets what unit (he booked different room types).

     Another guest called to reserve a room for the wedding.  I didn't have any other rooms. They said, the Mr P had some rooms.  Well again, I'm not able to sell those because they are reserved for Mr P's and he didn't give me permission to sell them to his guests.
    I think they could've handled it differently, though.  The innkeeper should know by this point that there's some shady shit going down.  If I were them, I'd stay out of it as much as possible.  Just say "there are some uncertainities regarding the availability of the rooms in the block.  Let me check and get back with you."  The guest shouldn't explictly know that the B&G are manipulating the innkeeper.
  •   SITB...

    OP - something tells me if you were able to find a B&B that they hadn't booked that there are others in the area as well that it'd be worth every penny to help someone else find so they can have affordable rooms too..  And hold these people to strict silence other than to say "they found a place to stay" because of the B&G's BSC...  The math wasn't working out on the house to begin with, and no AC - no way!

    Glad to hear you're not going... Maybe this other person could use your reservation at the B&B...  It's the old phrase "Not my Circus, Not my Monkeys" - it's not your problem the B&G are BSC, nor your obligation to be good little servants to their BSCness... 


  • aurianna said:
    Have invitations actually been sent out?
    Or they just really want people to write them $300 checks for an event they haven't even officially been invited to yet?

    A hotel you don't have to pay until you stay there. They think it's reasonable to make people pay full value for a place that could very well burn down between now and a wedding that could be cancelled?

    So self-important sounding these people. They seriously think their guests' budgets, time and lives revolve around this wedding.

    Yup.  Sorry, but with paying a hotel directly, especially on a credit card, you at least have some protection in terms of being refunded should anything go awry (wedding cancelled, hotel burned down, illness preventing you from attending, etc).  If any of those instances occurred and your payment was made directly to the bride with a check... let's just say I wouldn't want to deal with trying to get my money back from them (or bet that I even would).


  • $300 is still awfully expensive for a room with no A/C and a shared bathroom!

    Is this still for one night, or a weekend? 
  • They want $300 this close to Christmas?
  • Each hotel only has about 15 rooms, so they originally booked two hotels and now the B&B.  There is nothing else in the area, the hotels are a good 20 minutes apart.  Some of our friends have already asked about the B&B because they cannot afford the house nor do they want to share a bathroom and clean up/straighten up in the morning.  

    Their honeymoon is on the other side of the world...which they registered for which have hefty price tags.
    Wait...they're also expecting people to pay for their honeymoon?! You know what, I would just say F it! Tell the B&G you're not cancelling the reservation, but they can be more than welcome to buy it out from you, for double the price. Alternatively, you can offer the reservation to that friend who wanted to book there but couldn't.

    These people sound horrible. Absolutely horrible. I know you want to be there for your H, but honestly, if my FI had a friend treat him this badly, full of demands, etc., I'd just tell him that I'm not going. He can go, I'm going to go to brunch that day, have endless mimosas, then go get my nails done, enjoy a dinner and wine with some friends, and then chill at home with the bed all to myself.

    Do keep us updated on this drama, this is too good and petty to forget.
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  • The rental is for 3 nights, we would be staying 2 at most obviously depending on things.  I still have yet to cancel our B&B reservation, maybe I will when I am asked nicely instead of being ordered to...
  • The rental is for 3 nights, we would be staying 2 at most obviously depending on things.  I still have yet to cancel our B&B reservation, maybe I will when I am asked nicely instead of being ordered to...
    HUH?  I'd only cancel because I was tired of the shenanigans. 
  • The rental is for 3 nights, we would be staying 2 at most obviously depending on things.  I still have yet to cancel our B&B reservation, maybe I will when I am asked nicely instead of being ordered to...
    Are you nuts?!

    Why on Earth would you ever cancel?! If you are going to this wedding keep your reservation- keep the AC and normal hotel accommodations.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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