My fiance and I got engaged in September and have already booked our reception venue for 11/19/16 in Lakewood, NJ at Eagle Ridge Golf Club and also some other vendors. We are at a standstill now with planning until we figure out what to do about our ceremony.
Although our Eagle Ridge offered, we do not want to have our ceremony at the same place we’re having our reception. I have friends and family members who have things both ways- some had separate venues for the ceremony and reception with a 2-3 hour gap between, and some at the same venue. All of the brides who had the separation of ceremony and reception enjoyed their days way more. They had enough time to space things out a bit, take their pictures without rushing, and were able to make it to their cocktail hour and enjoy the delicious food there. They all used their cocktail hour to greet their guests individually so by the time the reception started, they were able to relax, have fun, and dance. That’s what my fiance and I want too. Plus cocktail hour is where we’re putting a lot of our money and effort into so we want to be there for it.
All of the “separate” weddings we went to had the ceremony at a church. We are planning our wedding long distance (from Northern VA) so we aren’t able to join a local church. Also- we are not religious, at all. We would truthfully feel uncomfortable having a religious ceremony because that’s not what we believe. We also don’t plan on having children and we don’t want to essentially lie in my wedding vows about raising our children in the church.
So- the challenge is: we need a space just for the ceremony to fit our guests (right now the guest list is looking around 130-140), in November (could be warm, could be freezing, could be rainy, could be sunny), that is not a church. And we’re not finding anything. We did find the chapel at Allaire State Park which is gorgeous but it fits 100 max and I worry if all the guests do show up to the ceremony, there’s nowhere for them to fit. (Since sometimes wedding guests only go to the reception. and I know not all people we invite will RSVP. It's a gamble.) The ASP chapel would allow us to use our own officiant.
My fiance’s mom is aware of our thoughts on this. She is religious but understanding that we are not. She offered to have us get married in her church. We appreciate this, but would use a church venue as kind of our last resort. Maybe there’s an option you all know of that we don’t?
Also- did any of you get married in a church but do not consider yourself religious? How did that go?
Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/nondenominational-ceremony-space-in-central-nj-is-this-possible/#ixzz3t7i8vzee