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is it ok to keep calling him my boyfriend?

Pinksatin91016Pinksatin91016 member
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edited December 2015 in Just Engaged and Proposals
I became engaged in August, but to me, it still feels weird to say "fiance" when referring to my boyfriend. I just feel pretentious and like I'm asking people to congratulate me or something. But if I just say "boyfriend" the conversation moves right along. It just feels AW-y on my tongue, but I don't think it sounds weird coming from other people or judge them. 

It has nothing to do with wanting to marry him or not. In fact I can't wait to call him my husband, "fiance" just sounds weird and feels unnatural to me. Am I the only one? Is it ok if I just skip that and keep calling referring to him to other people as my "boyfriend" and just switch to "husband" when we're married? Is there anything wrong with that or any reason not to do it?
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Re: is it ok to keep calling him my boyfriend?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2015
    It's not pretentious. Did you think it was pretentious when he graduated from friend to boyfriend? If you aren't comfortable with the word, however, don't use it. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
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    I got engaged in August too! I am the exact same, I've only ever referred to the boy as my boyfriend as we were not friends before (met and basically moved in together straight away lol!) a habit of 5yrs is hard to break. At this point I've pretty much decided to just keep calling him my bf until he's my husband. I hate the way fiance sounds, it seems too fancy for us! I know it's silly, but I get where you are coming from.
                 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I got engaged on July 26, 2015 and honestly, I switch back and forth between fiance and husband. I have a love-hate relationship with "fiance" because it sounds really snooty and I say "my husband" sometimes because we pretty already are married as far as we're concerned, the wedding day is just when it's going to be all legalized and formal. 
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  • nerdwifenerdwife member
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    stephcottrell1991 said:
    I got engaged on July 26, 2015 and honestly, I switch back and forth between fiance and husband. I have a love-hate relationship with "fiance" because it sounds really snooty and I say "my husband" sometimes because we pretty already are married as far as we're concerned, the wedding day is just when it's going to be all legalized and formal. 
    What.
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
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    How does he feel about it?  I know if I had called my husband "boyfriend" while we were engaged, he'd be a bit miffed.  I'm not saying that you should do (or not do) something based on what he thinks .... just take into consideration his feelings, too.




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  • knottie2b256f5c2ae42586knottie2b256f5c2ae42586 member
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    I felt a bit weird saying "fiancé" when we first got engaged, but then some of my co-workers asked me why I kept saying BF. I honestly didn't know...habit, it felt "fancy", whatever...but I began saying "fiancé" and I realized I got excited every time I said it. Plus, I always appreciate and feel loved when my FI refers to me as his FI, so I thought I should start returning the favor.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    DH didn't like the word fiancee either.   He started just calling me his wife.   I still called him my fiancé. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • Pinksatin91016Pinksatin91016 member
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    Aw, thank you guys for your replies. I never withhold the fact that we're getting married if it comes up in conversation, but yeah, "finance" just doesn't roll off my tongue and feels forced to say. @glasgowtolondon , I also only ever called him my boyfriend. We met and had the most perfect first date in February and he basically started staying with me straight away. We bought a house in September so yeah, it feels like we're married and I think I knew he was the one about a month in or so. Completely different from any other relationship I've had.

    This feedback has made me feel that it's ok that I don't like using the F-word, but also, that I don't need to feel pretentious and it's ok to just start saying it. Maybe I will get more comfortable. Hopefully before we're married and the word doesn't apply!  ;)
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  • glasgowtolondonglasgowtolondon member
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    edited December 2015
    Pinksatin91016 said:
    Aw, thank you guys for your replies. I never withhold the fact that we're getting married if it comes up in conversation, but yeah, "finance" just doesn't roll off my tongue and feels forced to say. @glasgowtolondon , I also only ever called him my boyfriend. We met and had the most perfect first date in February and he basically started staying with me straight away. We bought a house in September so yeah, it feels like we're married and I think I knew he was the one about a month in or so. Completely different from any other relationship I've had.

    This feedback has made me feel that it's ok that I don't like using the F-word, but also, that I don't need to feel pretentious and it's ok to just start saying it. Maybe I will get more comfortable. Hopefully before we're married and the word doesn't apply!  ;)
    Sorry, childish but the bolded made me lol!
     
    I asked my partner about this last night and he said he felt the same way, apparently he still refers to me as his GF in conversation. He did say that sometimes he makes a conscious effort to call me his fiancée, and that it feels a bit weird to him but he wants to try to as he wants people to know that we're getting married. IDK, I don't feel like it has to be a big deal. I'm happy if he calls me either to be honest. 
                 
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    @nerdwife Looks like you scared her off with your scary "What." LOL
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Pinksatin91016Pinksatin91016 member
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    How many times I tried to stop it from autocorrecting to that I couldn't tell you!  :D
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  • spockforprezspockforprez member
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    Not sure if zomb or not, but I definitely have issues with "THE F WORD" ;) too. I use it sparingly. Mostly I say partner. Sometimes I say husband (especially in official contexts) and sometimes I say boyfriend. 

    There's always boyfie, right?! :D 
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  • labrolabro member
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    spockforprez said:
    Not sure if zomb or not, but I definitely have issues with "THE F WORD" ;) too. I use it sparingly. Mostly I say partner. Sometimes I say husband (especially in official contexts) and sometimes I say boyfriend. 

    There's always boyfie, right?! :D 
    My favorite one was "manpanion".

    OP I definitely felt awkward saying fiance at first but I also kind of loved the awkwardness because it was so exciting and new! I definitely don't think it's pretentious at all and I hope you become more comfortable with it in time.

    Truthfully, the first weeks of saying "my husband" felt kind of weird too until the word started to come more naturally.



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  • InLoveInQueensInLoveInQueens member
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    labro said:
    spockforprez said:
    Not sure if zomb or not, but I definitely have issues with "THE F WORD" ;) too. I use it sparingly. Mostly I say partner. Sometimes I say husband (especially in official contexts) and sometimes I say boyfriend. 

    There's always boyfie, right?! :D 
    My favorite one was "manpanion".

    OP I definitely felt awkward saying fiance at first but I also kind of loved the awkwardness because it was so exciting and new! I definitely don't think it's pretentious at all and I hope you become more comfortable with it in time.

    Truthfully, the first weeks of saying "my husband" felt kind of weird too until the word started to come more naturally.
    I still feel weird calling him "my husband", at least out loud. I usually just use him name when I'm talking to people I know, but even that is weird since when we're alone we use pet names for each other and never really use our names. But we're weirdos, it seems :)
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