Family does not equal vendor.

Re: Family does not equal vendor.

• glasgowtolondon member

  

  January 2016

  Of course you're not in the wrong! It's one thing if your distant cousin had offered her services, but from your post it sounds like family expected you to ask her yourself. Stick to your guns and bean dip the shit out of this if it comes up again. Bridezilla my arse!

               

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• JediElizabeth member

  

  January 2016 edited January 2016

  RomanceManaged said:

  Just wanted to share a rant. I feel like everytime I set a meeting with a vendor, and discuss with my bridal party (Whom are all sisters) they inform me that we have some distant cousin who would probably do it for free, or very discounted. For instance, today I settled on a great salon. I'm really excited, and I booked them for the makeup and hair trial in May. I informed the bridal party that as long as the trial goes well, this is where I will be getting my hair, nails, and makeup done and if they wanted to as well I could book them a spot. I also told them they absolutely do NOT have to get any professional beauty things done, but I'll be there at such time with snacks, drinks, and awesome conversation. Well, one of my BMs informed me that I was being a freaking bridezilla because I have some cousin somewhere that does hair and I should have booked them when I invited them because theyre family, and I'm only thinking of myself. Honestly, I just don't want any family members or guests to have to work at the wedding, or day of the wedding. Just show up and have a great time. Not block 4ish hours of your life doing hair and makeup. Do you think I'm in the wrong for any of this, and should have considered family for these tasks ? Sorry for the rant. I'm just boggled, and feel kinda down about it.

   

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• AddieCake member

  

  January 2016

  No, you're not in the wrong,and not using a family member as a vendor does not make you a bridezilla.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• RomanceManaged member

  

  January 2016

  Well thank you. I'm actually kind of offended at being called that. But it will not be the hill I die on during this wedding planning

  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2016

  Not at all. There is nothing "bridezilla" about not wanting a family member to double as a vendor.

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• JediElizabeth member

  

  January 2016 edited January 2016

  RomanceManaged said:

  Well thank you. I'm actually kind of offended at being called that. But it will not be the hill I die on during this wedding planning

  That's the best attitude to have. She seems to have some major misconceptions about weddings. 
  
  Edited to format/clarify

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• SP29 member

  

  January 2016

  Stick to your guns. Not a bridezilla at all.
  
  It is one thing for family or friends to OFFER a service, but I would think it rude to assume just because you know someone, means they're supposed to offer you a deal. (Royal "you"). 
  
  Many posters, myself included, would also discourage using family/friends as vendors- those relationships are tricky. And what happens if you don't like the work they do? You're either left with the awkward conversation of telling a family member you don't like what they did, or keeping something YOU don't like to spare feelings. 
  
  I also agree that when you are inviting these people to your wedding as a guest- they are that, guests, and should not be expected to "work" (unless they offer of course). 
  
  

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• ClaraGrace member

  

  January 2016

  If that's what make you a bridezilla, well I'm one also.
  
  SIL won't have time as she's in the wedding party, so I didn't ask her.  I did ask if she recommended anyone, and she recommended who I go to now anyway. 
  
  Cousin is annoyed that I didn't book her. Because she always want to cut and bleach my hair.  No.  I'm never letting her near my hair. 
  
  So my aunt is tragically disappointed in me. Darn.

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• RomanceManaged member

  

  January 2016

  Thanks everyone!
  
  Another problem we were running into with that, is that FI and I aren't entirely sure this cousin is invited. She is someone I'm not at all close to, and as she lives so far away I would hate to have the awkward invite conversation after she drove out to the ceremony and assumed she would be invited after. My sister, god love her, just has a better relationship with the cousins than I do because she is also upset that I did not immediately book another cousin for photography. ::Sigh::

  
  

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• levioosa member

  

  January 2016

  Bridezilla:  Distant Cousin, YOU will be doing my hair and makeup for free for my wedding!!! Isn't that exciting?!?

  
  

  Definitely NOT Bridezilla: I think it would be best to keep vendors and family separate. No confusion, and everyone can enjoy the day.  

  
  

  
  

  

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• jenna8984 member

  

  January 2016

  levioosa said:

  Bridezilla:  Distant Cousin, YOU will be doing my hair and makeup for free for my wedding!!! Isn't that exciting?!?

  
  

  Definitely NOT Bridezilla: I think it would be best to keep vendors and family separate. No confusion, and everyone can enjoy the day.  

  I was thinking the exact same thing- that you'd actually be a bridezilla if you acted the opposite of how you're acting and called this random person out of the blue and asked them to do free services!
  

                                                                   

  
  

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