Call Me, Maybe?

princessleia22 · January 2016

DH and I occasionally text during the day if we need something, but not often. Most times we don't communicate from the time we leave for work until we get home, unless it's calling on our way home to figure out what's for dinner. We are busy at work and don't need the interruptions, unless there is a reason for it. Plus, DH is an electrician. I had one time that I called him right as he was working on live wires, the phone started him and he got shocked. So, I now avoid contacting him during the work day unless really, really necessary.

We only have cell phones. We don't live in a natural disaster prone area, so I'm not too concerned about needing emergency line for disasters. We do have multiple battery backups for our phones, mostly because the are great for when we are out fishing or even just charging the phone when we are in the living room or something. But, we could easily charge our phones for a week on those. And we also have an emergency radio that has USB hook-up to charge phones and can be charged with solar or hand cranking, if it ever came to that dire of a situation. But, I also know that it's not always a natural disaster that will disrupt cell service. I know cell phone service was horrible on 9/11 because the cell signals were overloaded and it was near impossible to get a call to go through... but landlines still worked. So, I can still see valid reasons for wanting a land line for emergencies, because it does have a bit higher security over cell.

drid · January 2016

Generally, FI and I text here and there throughout the day. Sometimes a little more and sometimes not at all. It really depends. FI works oilfield so he is usually gone for a few weeks at a time and thats when we text a bit more throughout the day, and usually arrange an evening phone call every second day or so. If he's out on a job he's got a ton of paperwork to do, even in the evening when he's back at the hotel. So I just let him do his thing, we chit chat throughout the day and squeeze in a phone call when we can. If I see that I've missed a phone call from him during the day while I'm at work though, I usually fear the worst lol, but its usually because he's driving to town or back to the shop to grab something.

He worked overseas month-on, month-off for about 5 months or so a few years ago, and between the time change and how busy we both were, we hardly talked save for a text when I got the chance that was usually when he was sleeping and vice versa.

PamBeesly524 · January 2016

emmaaa said:

lyndausvi said:

PamBeesly524 said:

tigerlily6 said:

@PamBeesly524, I agree that cells are generally better for emergency, but I think the idea is that if the power is out for several days, your cell phone could be dead and you can't charge it. Obviously, to avert such a situation, you could just turn your cell off when you're not using it. But I know my mom likes to keep a corded land-line phone around in her home just in case, also.

Again, there are battery packs that you can charge and keep charged in case of emergency. H and I use them on long road trips because our cigarette lighters don't work for a car charger. CLICK

and if you do not have power for days at some point those need to be recharged themselves.

Not everyone has the luxury to leave their homes to find a place to recharge their electronics.

This.

I live 3 or 4 roads off a main road...in the South. We are unprepared for winter weather. So if we have some snow or ice and the power goes out, it usually takes a while to come back on. Our road RARELY gets scraped and if it weren't for DH's truck, we would not leave the house at all. We also are prone to hurricanes that leave us without power for days and weeks.

I don't really see why it matters that people still like the convenience of a land line.

I'm not sure if this is directed at me but I said in my first post that it doesn't bother me, I just didn't see the point... It doesn't matter to me, I was just making conversation. Now that I see everyone else's examples I realized I took for granted that I live in an area that has good cell service, etc. My bad. Now I know!

ShesSoCold · January 2016

H and I both have smart phones and no land line. Neither of us are big texters and the only reason he even has a smart phone is because his boss got it for him so he can receive emails.

My H and I communicate during the work day only "as needed", I guess. Lately it's been pretty often because we're buying a house so we've been needing to talk about appointments, paperwork, etc. He's an electrician and never works at the same place or on the same schedule so he usually calls me on his way home from work just to let me know or see if he needs to stop at a store. I also appreciate it when he calls me when he's working late because I try not to bother him at work.

emmaaa · January 2016

PamBeesly524 said:

emmaaa said:

lyndausvi said:

PamBeesly524 said:

tigerlily6 said:

@PamBeesly524, I agree that cells are generally better for emergency, but I think the idea is that if the power is out for several days, your cell phone could be dead and you can't charge it. Obviously, to avert such a situation, you could just turn your cell off when you're not using it. But I know my mom likes to keep a corded land-line phone around in her home just in case, also.

Again, there are battery packs that you can charge and keep charged in case of emergency. H and I use them on long road trips because our cigarette lighters don't work for a car charger. CLICK

and if you do not have power for days at some point those need to be recharged themselves.

Not everyone has the luxury to leave their homes to find a place to recharge their electronics.

This.

I live 3 or 4 roads off a main road...in the South. We are unprepared for winter weather. So if we have some snow or ice and the power goes out, it usually takes a while to come back on. Our road RARELY gets scraped and if it weren't for DH's truck, we would not leave the house at all. We also are prone to hurricanes that leave us without power for days and weeks.

I don't really see why it matters that people still like the convenience of a land line.

I'm not sure if this is directed at me but I said in my first post that it doesn't bother me, I just didn't see the point... It doesn't matter to me, I was just making conversation. Now that I see everyone else's examples I realized I took for granted that I live in an area that has good cell service, etc. My bad. Now I know!

It was just a general statement. I have a coworker who tells me on a daily basis how dumb she thinkg landlines are and sees no purpose for them (even after explanation). She has even said that they should just get rid of them without telling people so no one has those dumb phones anymore. I am just like, "why does it matter when it doesn't effect you?"

thisismynickname2 · January 2016

I mean... I was a latecomer to cell phone use. My friends in high school got them because they carpooled a lot, and if I went out alone to meet friends my mom would give me the family Motorola brick in case of emergency (but pay phones were still plentiful).
In college cell phones got popular, but I held out. I figured, "If I'm not in my room, I'm busy, so wouldn't take a call anyway."
I did get one senior year of college and it was more convenient than sharing a land line with roommates. That's when texting was just getting started. After college, I had my cell and a landline, and the landline was useless and a cost I didn't need. So I got rid of it and never looked back.
I was a latecomer to smartphones too. They're expensive! But the convenience is just unmatched. It's my camera, my MP3 player, my phone, my own internet device, my GPS, etc.

So all that being said, DH and I text only a bit throughout the day. It's just random thoughts usually, once or twice, or coordinating after work dinners out. We're rather introverted and I wouldn't miss not being able to text him during the day. But, I think the cell phones are essential in case of emergencies. I like to joke, "How did anyone find each other before cell phones? What did we do if people were late? I just don't remember!" If I'm out with friends, I text him to tell him I'm leaving. You just never know what could happen.

tigerlily6 · January 2016

Nerdy but relevant:

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020756/uploads/editor/df/t0pykx61iw42.jpg

nerdwife · January 2016

Look, a cute and topical modern love column: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/31/fashion/dating-texting-rules.html?hpw&rref=fashion&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=well-region&region=bottom-well&WT.nav=bottom-well

DarthV8r · January 2016

tigerlily6 said:

Okay, stupid title aside. A social media acquaintance posted this article the other day, agreeing that she could not imagine being with her bf without daily texts:

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a52614/not-texting-boyfriend-for-a-week/

I don't normally give Cosmo articles much time of day or space of my thoughts, but this one caught my eye and shocked me a bit just because it seems so needy to me and different from my experience.

FI and I share one cellphone right now. If one of us anticipates that we will need it, we request it during the day. Otherwise, if we need to communicate during the day when we're apart, we email. And when we take trips apart visiting family, we call one another on our parents' home phones.

I have told FI that when we have kids, I certainly expect us both to have cell phones so we can be more immediately accessible. But right now it just is not a big priority. *shrug*

Are we just weird? I guess I could see wanting to keep in touch via text more if you are long distance, but even then, I personally would prefer a good phone call at the end of the day. Thoughts?

stuck in box

If you're weird then so am I. I just got my own cell phone again a few months ago. I didn't need one because we have a landline and I only go to the store or to our family's house. . It wasn't until we got separated at an amusement park that I felt the need for a cell. Still now sometimes I loose my cell for a couple days and it's not a big deal. We only text when it's super important and we can't talk to each other at the moment. We live together so we just talk to each other in person at the end of the day.

spockforprez · January 2016

FH can't text during the day because his workplace does not allow cell phone use (gov't stuff) so he leaves it in the car. When I was working we would email during the day and then text after work while I was on my way home - obviously not while driving, but I would text him and chat for a bit when I was leaving, or while I was running errands, etc. I also go visit my parents in another city a lot so we text a lot then.

I'm not working at the moment so I usually call him during the day once, just to chat for 3-4 minutes and say I love you. We are an annoying lovey-dovey couple and prefer to stay in contact with each other, but I also don't mind going the day not talking if I am busy or vice versa (and I really like a certain amount of alone time). The only time I get worried if we don't talk is when I am away on a visit or doing something else and I know he is taking his motorcycle out. I have such bad anxiety about it. I like to hear from him right before and after he goes out, but sometimes his rides go 3-4 hours if he's cruising or if he stops to use the bathroom, etc. and after 2 hours or so my nerves are worn down.

jacques27 · January 2016

I think there is a happy medium between the two (article and OP). I don't believe in carrying out relationships via text. I think it's great for little FYIs (Hey, running late at work...should be done by six), quick requests (out of milk - can you pick some up?), and the occasional thinking of you. Then again, I'm long out of cosmos target audience. I haven't read Cosmo since freshman year of college and glamour (which skewed a little older) since I was maybe 24?

What she describes is obsessive, in my opinion. I think she also hasn't quite figured out that not every thought needs to be said out loud the moment you think it, or even said at all. Your thoughts on macchiatos is just additional noise in the world. Sometimes it's ok to keep that noise bottled up. Perhaps it's a generational thing. Perhaps someone mistakenly gave her the impression that all her thoughts are gifts to humanity and should be said out loud. Who knows?

I personally would get annoyed with that level of inane chatter all day, every day. I'm busy and have work to do. I feel like if I kept up that level of chatter all day, I would have nothing to share when we finally are together.

Maggie0829 · January 2016

jacques27 said:

I think there is a happy medium between the two (article and OP). I don't believe in carrying out relationships via text. I think it's great for little FYIs (Hey, running late at work...should be done by six), quick requests (out of milk - can you pick some up?), and the occasional thinking of you. Then again, I'm long out of cosmos target audience. I haven't read Cosmo since freshman year of college and glamour (which skewed a little older) since I was maybe 24?

What she describes is obsessive, in my opinion. I think she also hasn't quite figured out that not every thought needs to be said out loud the moment you think it, or even said at all. Your thoughts on macchiatos is just additional noise in the world. Sometimes it's ok to keep that noise bottled up. Perhaps it's a generational thing. Perhaps someone mistakenly gave her the impression that all her thoughts are gifts to humanity and should be said out loud. Who knows?

I personally would get annoyed with that level of inane chatter all day, every day. I'm busy and have work to do. I feel like if I kept up that level of chatter all day, I would have nothing to share when we finally are together.

I definitely think it is generational. I don't understand people that constantly post to Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or other social media. It has gotten to a point where people really do believe that others care about every single thought and every second of their day. And if they don't post then they are letting people down.

themosthappy91 · January 2016

First of all, I just think it's absurd that if a person doesn't have access to a cell phone all the time in this day and age anyone's immediate thought is "they're in an abusive relationship." Even if it were the case that OP didn't have a cell on her ever (which it's not), that's still a world away from being "isolated." Rolling my eyes...

Anyway, count me as one who likes texting/snapchatting/mindless chatter. I have a group FB message with my best friends that we basically talk on-and-off in throughout the day. I text H relatively frequently and like PP I get nervous if I don't hear from him for too long just because I know our texting habits.

vikinganna87 · January 2016

The Cosmo article just seems like a variation of absence makes the heart grow fonder. Communicating less often and having more meaningful conversations strengthened the relationship. Shocking. H and I text & talk on the phone. I occasionally send him postcards and leave notes for him. I certainly don't think texting as a medium is problematic; there are certain situations it's great for, others not so much. I get tired of people complaining about social media and everyone constantly being glued to phones. We have amazing technology at our disposal and it can bring us closer together. If you choose to be a slave to it, that's your problem. I also don't find anything wrong or strange about sharing a cell phone if that works for you and your lifestyle. I was about 22 when cell phone use became widespread. The thing that bothered me was that nobody had to plan in advance or be on time. But there will always be ppl who flake out, cell phones or not. I try not to be one of them.

CMGragain · January 2016

I don't have a high tech smart phone, but I carry a basic phone in my purse in case I should be in an accident and need to call for help. It is very cheap. I think that this is a modern necessity. DH has one, too, and carries it when he goes hiking.

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