Pre-wedding Parties

Rehearsal Dinner!? Help/Alternatives

Let me give you some background first: Our wedding is small (family and a few close friends) being that my fiance and I are both working full-time and my fiance is going to school full-time at a fairly expensive school. We are also saving to buy a house soon, so our budget is very strict. I will be paying for most of the expenses, with a little help from my parents. His parents haven't offered any help financially, which I didn't expect. I don't mean that rudely, we just were not counting on help from our parents but mine happened to offer.

We have almost everything paid for, and I have gone over my budget slightly. I know traditionally the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, but I realize that doesn't mean they HAVE to or want to. I am estimating that the cost of this dinner would be at least $300. I really don't want another expense because I have already gone over my budget and I'm sure there will be other expenses that I haven't thought of yet because the wedding is still about 6 months away :smile: 

The last time we saw his parents, they asked if we have a room block for the night of the wedding (it's about 2.5 hours from where they live) and what time we are starting so they get there on time. Based on that, it didn't seem like they were even aware that there is typically a dinner the night before. So I'm pretty sure they were not planning on paying for it or helping pay for it.

My question is how do I handle this? Just have a dinner with the parents to bring down the cost? Not have one at all? I don't want to do anything that will end up hurting someone's feelings or make anyone feel awkward, so any suggestions are appreciated!!

Re: Rehearsal Dinner!? Help/Alternatives

  • If you are having a rehearsal you have to have a rehearsal dinner for anyone who attended the rehearsal and their SOs. This doesn't have to be anything fancy- you could go back to someone's house and order a few pizzas or party trays from a restaurant- but it does have to be fully hosted. If you aren't having a rehearsal then you don't have to have a rehearsal dinner. If you just want to have dinner with your nearest and dearest the night before then you can still do that, but as I said it's perfectly acceptable to have everyone over for something casual if that's what your budget allows.
  • Don't have a rehearsal....or don't have one where everyone else is required to attend and voila no rehearsal dinner required. Once you've done that, it's totally ok to casually mention you'll be at such and such bar or whatever that evening if people want to stop by and say hello, join you for drinks/apps, etc.



  • If you can skip rehearsal skip it. If not, you must host some kind of dinner for those involved in the wedding and their SOs. It doesn't have to be expensive. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Let me give you some background first: Our wedding is small (family and a few close friends) being that my fiance and I are both working full-time and my fiance is going to school full-time at a fairly expensive school. We are also saving to buy a house soon, so our budget is very strict. I will be paying for most of the expenses, with a little help from my parents. His parents haven't offered any help financially, which I didn't expect. I don't mean that rudely, we just were not counting on help from our parents but mine happened to offer.

    We have almost everything paid for, and I have gone over my budget slightly. I know traditionally the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner, but I realize that doesn't mean they HAVE to or want to. I am estimating that the cost of this dinner would be at least $300. I really don't want another expense because I have already gone over my budget and I'm sure there will be other expenses that I haven't thought of yet because the wedding is still about 6 months away :smile: 

    The last time we saw his parents, they asked if we have a room block for the night of the wedding (it's about 2.5 hours from where they live) and what time we are starting so they get there on time. Based on that, it didn't seem like they were even aware that there is typically a dinner the night before. So I'm pretty sure they were not planning on paying for it or helping pay for it.

    My question is how do I handle this? Just have a dinner with the parents to bring down the cost? Not have one at all? I don't want to do anything that will end up hurting someone's feelings or make anyone feel awkward, so any suggestions are appreciated!!
    Order several pizzas and 2-liter bottles of soda.  $30 rehearsal dinner.

    Or don't have a rehearsal.
  • PPs are right if you don't have a rehearsal you don't need a rehearsal dinner. However if you do have a rehearsal then you need a dinner. You could always just order a few pizzas and some 2 liters or check out some places who do pasta and get some big pasta orders and again 2 liters.

    If pizza and pasta aren't really your thing maybe check out some mexican places and see what their catering options are. We had ours at a mexican restaurant and were really shocked at how low the price came out to be and everyone was stuffed and happy.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We are having a super casual rehearsal dinner. Pizza, some pasta trays, salad, sodas, etc. I think the more casual rehearsal dinner is starting to become even more common! It doesn't need to be this upscale event.


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  • Unless we hear otherwise from his family, we're doing pizza after the rehearsal, probably in the church basement. "Otherwise," should we hear it, will very likely be a barbecue at their place. Either way, it's going to be extremely informal and not expensive.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My brother and his then-fiance just had pizza and what not. Everyone had a great time and it was cheap. 
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