Wedding Party

Snarky bridesmaid (and also sister)

I initially asked my older sister if she wanted to be my MOH. At the time, I didn't put much thought into it. Later on, I realized that maybe it would be best if she wasn't in the bridal party, so I told her nicely that I'm sorry but we decided we only wanted it to be friends. I know, it was my wrong to ask her in the first place, but she was so offended and told me she was so hurt that I would not want her in my bridal party. So, eventually I said FINE, you can be my MOH.

Fast forward 8 months later, it is 2 months til the wedding, and she has literally helped me with NOTHING. I'm probably one of the most laid back brides ever, so it's not like I'm asking her for a ton of help. All I ask for are her opinions, for her to respond to a few texts a week, no biggie. She is doing one huge thing for me, which I appreciate a LOT, but it's almost like she thinks that since she's doing that, she doesn't need to help with anything else. She has not even once mentioned a bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc. I don't need them so I haven't said anything, but I don't think she gets the concept of a bridesmaid, let alone MOH. My other friends who aren't even in the bridal party are stepping up to fill the void. Until there, fine. She has a really stressful job and has been very busy, so if she's too busy, that's fine. FINE.

But now she's demanding a certain kind of bridesmaid dress, and I can't take it. I already have a package with the bridesmaids dresses included. The wedding shop does not have a dress like that, and I explained it to her. I would have to pay $$$ to get everyone's dresses elsewhere, and my FI and I don't have a huge budget.

I'm trying to figure out how we can have a win-win situation, but it is so difficult to talk to her. She never answers my phone calls and she'll respond to my texts sporadically and then just stop responding in the middle of a conversation. No response the next day or the following... basically no response til I text her again.

I know she'll flip out if I ask her to step down as my bridesmaid, but she's probably the worst MOH ever and is stressing me out. Is it worth (probably) fighting with her the month before the wedding? Or do I put up with her snarky ways until the wedding?

Re: Snarky bridesmaid (and also sister)

  • Ah, this OP. She'd posted maybe a couple other threads over the last week or two, and while not totally off the rails, I'm not excessively surprised at this.

    I hope she saw the comma thread (or any of many others) and realized what the response was going to be.
  • Yeah, I feel like she was on the edge with her 'intimidated by mob' post so I'm surprised she even took the time to type this up. At least this one didn't delete it. 
                 
  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2016
    Yeah, I feel like she was on the edge with her 'intimidated by mob' post so I'm surprised she even took the time to type this up. At least this one didn't delete it. 
    Oh I didn't even see that one - I just remember the handle from some replies, I guess. My guess is your* meanness over there is why she GBCK and why this isn't DD.

    *ETA: general you
  • Yeah, I feel like she was on the edge with her 'intimidated by mob' post so I'm surprised she even took the time to type this up. At least this one didn't delete it. 
    Oh I didn't even see that one - I just remember the handle from some replies, I guess. My guess is your* meanness over there is why she GBCK and why this isn't DD.

    *ETA: general you
    It was nothing over there - but if that pushed her over the edge I don't think she'd have coped with the responses to this one.

    @londonlisa @flantastic this always stuck in my mind from the west wing too, good one to casually drop in!
                 
  • Yeah, I feel like she was on the edge with her 'intimidated by mob' post so I'm surprised she even took the time to type this up. At least this one didn't delete it. 
    Oh I didn't even see that one - I just remember the handle from some replies, I guess. My guess is your* meanness over there is why she GBCK and why this isn't DD.

    *ETA: general you
    It was nothing over there - but if that pushed her over the edge I don't think she'd have coped with the responses to this one.

    @londonlisa @flantastic this always stuck in my mind from the west wing too, good one to casually drop in!
    Second episode, already teaching you philosophical and argumentative fallacies. What a great show.
  • Yeah, I feel like she was on the edge with her 'intimidated by mob' post so I'm surprised she even took the time to type this up. At least this one didn't delete it. 
    Oh I didn't even see that one - I just remember the handle from some replies, I guess. My guess is your* meanness over there is why she GBCK and why this isn't DD.

    *ETA: general you
    It was nothing over there - but if that pushed her over the edge I don't think she'd have coped with the responses to this one.

    @londonlisa @flantastic this always stuck in my mind from the west wing too, good one to casually drop in!
    Second episode, already teaching you philosophical and argumentative fallacies. What a great show.
    I am so glad people here appreciate my favorite TV show of all time. This Deleted User's thread should just be a WW appreciation thread, but I'm a bit biased.

    Also lol @ "worst MOH ever".
  • Yeah, I feel like she was on the edge with her 'intimidated by mob' post so I'm surprised she even took the time to type this up. At least this one didn't delete it. 
    Oh I didn't even see that one - I just remember the handle from some replies, I guess. My guess is your* meanness over there is why she GBCK and why this isn't DD.

    *ETA: general you
    It was nothing over there - but if that pushed her over the edge I don't think she'd have coped with the responses to this one.

    @londonlisa @flantastic this always stuck in my mind from the west wing too, good one to casually drop in!
    Second episode, already teaching you philosophical and argumentative fallacies. What a great show.
    I am so glad people here appreciate my favorite TV show of all time. This Deleted User's thread should just be a WW appreciation thread, but I'm a bit biased.

    Also lol @ "worst MOH ever".

                 
  • This is going to turn out to be a great thread.
  • Can I just say that I love when these threads turns into this? 

    Thanks OP!
  • arrippaarrippa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2016
  • The other day my dad pulled out a Sorkin-ism in a facebook post.  "We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you [politician my dumb cousin was raving about] is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things, and two things only: making you afraid of it, and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections."  I'm reading it and reading it and thinking that it's TWW because even though he hasn't used Sorkin's name, I KNOW it's a Sorkin-ism.  I figured it out before I had to look it up.  Anyone? 
  • BF and I quote WW to each other all the time. He always starts yelling about drinking from the keg of glory everytime he finishes a project

  • edited February 2016
    Cool!  A thread where someone else is being a monster! ( I am making fun of myself here, I've calmed the hell down from my previous post). 

    If I were to hazard a guess why it is the "most laid back bride ever" that make posts like this, it would be from my own experience : I never gave a shit about planning a wedding and now that it's here it's overwhelming. In just about every other aspect of life I am v. chill.

     Not all the time, but there are definitely moments  during wedding planning where shit just gets to be frustrating and you call your sister to vent and she doesn't answer right away so you decide to vent to some internet strangers. Unfortunately, while your sister knows that you are not always unreasonable, strangers on the internet do not. 

    That's my guess, anyway. 
  • So, I know the backstory to this storyline.  I was on a website forum (much like this one) that discussed TV shows rather than weddings.  Apparently Aaron Sorkin had visited the website under an assumed name and didn't like the obsession we all had with him and his show.  So, since he liked to believe Josh Lyman was his alter-ego, he created this storyline where people were obsessed with him.  "We" were also where the Star Trek pin storyline came from.  "I'm a fan. I'm a sports fan. I'm a music fan. And I'm a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here's what I don't do. . . . Let's list our ten favorite episodes. Let's list our least favorite episodes. Let's list our favorite galaxies. Let's make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let's spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let's do it again. --- That's not being a fan. That's having a fetish. --- And I don't have a problem with that except that you can't bring your hobbies into work, okay. . . . Except on Star Trek holidays."
  • @adk19  That's hilarious.  I love this episode and never knew the backstory.

    FI is an AP Gov teacher and he actually bought a guide from another teacher elsewhere in the country that has created a West Wing for your Government class.  It lists each episode and which chapters/subjects you can use that episode in as an aide in the classroom.  His kids love it and a lot of last years students actually watched the entire series because they had to know what happened.

    And without a doubt....this the best episode.  
    image
  • adk19 said:
    So, I know the backstory to this storyline.  I was on a website forum (much like this one) that discussed TV shows rather than weddings.  Apparently Aaron Sorkin had visited the website under an assumed name and didn't like the obsession we all had with him and his show.  So, since he liked to believe Josh Lyman was his alter-ego, he created this storyline where people were obsessed with him.  "We" were also where the Star Trek pin storyline came from.  "I'm a fan. I'm a sports fan. I'm a music fan. And I'm a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here's what I don't do. . . . Let's list our ten favorite episodes. Let's list our least favorite episodes. Let's list our favorite galaxies. Let's make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let's spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let's do it again. --- That's not being a fan. That's having a fetish. --- And I don't have a problem with that except that you can't bring your hobbies into work, okay. . . . Except on Star Trek holidays."
    TWOP!!! I miss that website everyday.
  • arrippa said:
    adk19 said:
    So, I know the backstory to this storyline.  I was on a website forum (much like this one) that discussed TV shows rather than weddings.  Apparently Aaron Sorkin had visited the website under an assumed name and didn't like the obsession we all had with him and his show.  So, since he liked to believe Josh Lyman was his alter-ego, he created this storyline where people were obsessed with him.  "We" were also where the Star Trek pin storyline came from.  "I'm a fan. I'm a sports fan. I'm a music fan. And I'm a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here's what I don't do. . . . Let's list our ten favorite episodes. Let's list our least favorite episodes. Let's list our favorite galaxies. Let's make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let's spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let's do it again. --- That's not being a fan. That's having a fetish. --- And I don't have a problem with that except that you can't bring your hobbies into work, okay. . . . Except on Star Trek holidays."
    TWOP!!! I miss that website everyday.
    Yep.  TWOP was how I caught up on missed TWW episodes back before the era of Tivo.  *sigh*
  • adk19 said:
    arrippa said:
    adk19 said:
    So, I know the backstory to this storyline.  I was on a website forum (much like this one) that discussed TV shows rather than weddings.  Apparently Aaron Sorkin had visited the website under an assumed name and didn't like the obsession we all had with him and his show.  So, since he liked to believe Josh Lyman was his alter-ego, he created this storyline where people were obsessed with him.  "We" were also where the Star Trek pin storyline came from.  "I'm a fan. I'm a sports fan. I'm a music fan. And I'm a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here's what I don't do. . . . Let's list our ten favorite episodes. Let's list our least favorite episodes. Let's list our favorite galaxies. Let's make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let's spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let's do it again. --- That's not being a fan. That's having a fetish. --- And I don't have a problem with that except that you can't bring your hobbies into work, okay. . . . Except on Star Trek holidays."
    TWOP!!! I miss that website everyday.
    Yep.  TWOP was how I caught up on missed TWW episodes back before the era of Tivo.  *sigh*
    The recaps are still available to read. I spent most of my time at the Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars forums. Sadly, I got into TWW during Bravo reruns. Way after it aired.
  • arrippa said:
    adk19 said:
    arrippa said:
    adk19 said:
    So, I know the backstory to this storyline.  I was on a website forum (much like this one) that discussed TV shows rather than weddings.  Apparently Aaron Sorkin had visited the website under an assumed name and didn't like the obsession we all had with him and his show.  So, since he liked to believe Josh Lyman was his alter-ego, he created this storyline where people were obsessed with him.  "We" were also where the Star Trek pin storyline came from.  "I'm a fan. I'm a sports fan. I'm a music fan. And I'm a Star Trek fan. All of them. But here's what I don't do. . . . Let's list our ten favorite episodes. Let's list our least favorite episodes. Let's list our favorite galaxies. Let's make a chart to see how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes. What Romulan would you most like to see coupled with a Cardassian and why? Let's spend a weekend talking about Romulans falling in love with Cardassians and then let's do it again. --- That's not being a fan. That's having a fetish. --- And I don't have a problem with that except that you can't bring your hobbies into work, okay. . . . Except on Star Trek holidays."
    TWOP!!! I miss that website everyday.
    Yep.  TWOP was how I caught up on missed TWW episodes back before the era of Tivo.  *sigh*
    The recaps are still available to read. I spent most of my time at the Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars forums. Sadly, I got into TWW during Bravo reruns. Way after it aired.
    I actually went to meet, in real life, some TWOP Wingnuts.  We went to a restaurant.  We had reservations as the McGarry party.  It ended up being 7 very normal women who happen to have TWW as a common interest, and one slightly frenzied 18 year old man who was one of the 'crazy internet people.'  We'd be having a perfectly normal conversation about something NOT TWW related, and he'd start asking us the "fetish" questions; so what are your favorite episodes, what are your least favorite episodes, who should get together with whom, let's make a chart of how often our favorite galaxies appear in our favorite episodes then let's do it again.  It was fun.  One of the women gave me a wingnut (an item of hardware you can get at Home Depot) that I still have on my keychain.
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