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Wedding Program - Parents

Knottie1461382737Knottie1461382737 member
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My parents were divorced while I was in college and my dad remarried a couple years after the divorce.  

Is there any proper etiquette for listing my dad's new wife?  Although we have a good relationship, she doesn't really fit the "parent" classification.   Is it proper etiquette to include her as a parent anyway?  

Thank you!
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Re: Wedding Program - Parents

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yes.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't think our parents were listed by name in the program. If they were mentioned at all there may have been a little blurb for "Seating of the Mothers" or maybe it was mothers and grandmothers, but anyway I don't think they were individually written out. There was no need for them to be. Your dad's wife should get a corsage if you're doing those for the other parents and she should be seated (doesn't have to be part of the formal seating/processional) in the row where he will be. If he is not escorting you, he should be escorting her.
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  • LtPowersLtPowers member
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    Knottie1461382737 said:
    Is it proper etiquette to include her as a parent anyway?  
    Quite, and not only that, it would be very rude to exclude her, as she is your father's wife. In all social contexts they go together.


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  • SP29SP29 member
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    OP, you could write it out as:

    Father of the Bride...... John Smith
    Mother of the Bride...... Sue Jones

    In this case, correct me if I am wrong other Knotties, the OP would not have to list her dad's wife? I just don't see a spot where it *would* be appropriate to list dad's wife.

    In everything else social, of course dad's wife would be included as his SO (she should be seated beside him at the ceremony and reception, if you do any introductions, she is introduced with him, etc).
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    SP29 said:
    OP, you could write it out as:

    Father of the Bride...... John Smith
    Mother of the Bride...... Sue Jones

    In this case, correct me if I am wrong other Knotties, the OP would not have to list her dad's wife? I just don't see a spot where it *would* be appropriate to list dad's wife.

    In everything else social, of course dad's wife would be included as his SO (she should be seated beside him at the ceremony and reception, if you do any introductions, she is introduced with him, etc).
    Can't you just do
    Father of the Bride...... John Smith and Renee Smith
    Mother of the Bride...... Sue Jones
    Or just
    Parents... Sue Jones
               ... Renee and John Smith
               ... Sally and James Groomsparents

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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I'd be inclined to lean more in the direction of what adk19 said.

    You could try:
    Parents of the Bride
    Ms. Jane Smith
    Mr. and Mrs. John Doe

    OP, I've got two stepdads.  One I've had since I was 10 and he's a great second dad.  The other married my dad when I was 23 and never served in the parental role for me.  He was still listed in the parent section of the program because he's important to my dad, and therefore important to my family.

    It was also important to me to honor the relationship between Stepdad 2 and my dad on the day I was celebrating my own relationship.
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    Anniversary


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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    adk19 said:

    Or just
    Parents... Sue Jones
               ... Renee and John Smith
               ... Sally and James Groomsparents

    I see this the most when there are stepparents ^
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  • LtPowersLtPowers member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Answer
    SP29 said:
    OP, you could write it out as:

    Father of the Bride...... John Smith
    Mother of the Bride...... Sue Jones

    In this case, correct me if I am wrong other Knotties, the OP would not have to list her dad's wife? I just don't see a spot where it *would* be appropriate to list dad's wife.

    In everything else social, of course dad's wife would be included as his SO (she should be seated beside him at the ceremony and reception, if you do any introductions, she is introduced with him, etc).
    The problem is that the program in this case is serving as the introduction. Refusing to include her -- especially by explicitly choosing labels that exclude her -- is being rude to both her and to her husband.
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
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    I dealt with a similar issue at my wedding.  I believe I did:

    FOB John Doe
    His Wife Jane Doe

    MOB Sue Doe

     

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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2016
    We're doing a "Family" section with FW's mother and daughter; my parents, brother, and SIL; and our living grandparents. No titles, though.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You can put:

    Mother of the Bride ... Jane Smith
    Father of the Bride ... John Doe
    Bride's Father's Wife ... Mary Doe

    The point is, there is no fixed wording that would prevent you from listing your father's wife with the parents.  You adapt the wording to whatever fits your situation without excluding your father's wife.
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