Wedding Party

Maid Of Honor will not be at my wedding

so I just found out last night that 1 of my 2 MOH will not be making it to my wedding. She is at an interenship 14 hours away and they will not let her take that weekend off. My wedding is in a month from tomorrow.. My question is I guess-do I still involve her verbally in stuff, send her a gift? What do I do? I never imagined coming into this situation and I'm still in a little bit of shock from hearing it :/ 

Re: Maid Of Honor will not be at my wedding

  • That stinks. I wouldn't completely shy away from wedding talk anymore than normal but I would see how she responds. Is she asking about it? Then keep talking/keep her involved. Or does she get uncomfortable/quiet (feeling guilty?) I would change the subject. One of my bridesmaids couldn't afford to come to our hometown for my wedding and I wrote her a card like the rest of my bridesmaids but did not buy her a gift.


    OliveOilsMomSP29
  • I'm sorry this happened. PP above has good advice on how to move forward in terms of talking about the wedding with her.

    All I'd like to add is that you shouldn't "promote" anyone or choose a replacement MOH. Nobody wants a consolation role and it will make your original MOH feel replaceable and expendable. Your original MOH is still your MOH... just in sprit! Another person can hold your bouquet at the ceremony and sign your marriage license as the witness. 
    --

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    so I just found out last night that 1 of my 2 MOH will not be making it to my wedding. She is at an interenship 14 hours away and they will not let her take that weekend off. My wedding is in a month from tomorrow.. My question is I guess-do I still involve her verbally in stuff, send her a gift? What do I do? I never imagined coming into this situation and I'm still in a little bit of shock from hearing it :/ 


    If you already bought her gift, I would send it.  If its too late to remove her bouquet from your order, I would send it to her, if possible.  She can still be your MOH, she just won't be taking part in your wedding.  Leave her in the program and don't promote anyone else into the "position".

    I would follow PP advice about how to include her in wedding talk from now on.

    I would send her a card, at the least, writing how much she means to you and how she is still your MOH, because she means that much to you even though she is 14 hours away.

    I'm sorry this is happening.  It really does suck.

    SP29ernursejMesmrEwe
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    I had a bridesmaid unable to attend my wedding and I wish I had still sent her a gift and had her bouquet shipped to her with a sweet card saying how much her friendship means to me and that I was thinking of her despite the distance. I didn't do that and I really wish I had. I think it's such a lovely gesture.
    InLoveInQueensMairePoppy
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Agree with PP's, you could also offer to Facetime or Skype her into the ceremony and ask someone close to the front to hold the phone so she can still be a witness, just long distance.

    Sorry to hear this though, it is a bummer.
    image
    OurWildKingdom
  • Thanks for the advice! Should I l age her in the program as if she was there standing with us, or put her in it elsewhere? I have 2 of the 3 gifts bought/made for her, should I continue to get the rest for her and send it to her? I knew she wouldn't be able to be here long and she wouldn't make it to my bachelorette party, but I never imagined she wouldn't be able to make it at all :/
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member

    I would just send her what you have made already and her bouquet.  No need to make anything else unless you want to.

    For the program, I would list her with everyone else under your BP.  Perhaps put a small asterisk next to her name and then below, fill in the details that she was unable to attend due to her internship.

    If the skyping or facetiming doesn't work, perhaps just give a call earlier in the day while you are getting ready.

    bohobrideCASP29
  • ok thanks everyone! I'm free to hear more ideas as well! We should be able to FaceTime/skype with her depending on her schedule. 
    OurWildKingdom
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