Destination Weddings Discussions

Guest Costs

What does everyone think is a reasonable amount to spend to attend a DW? 

Is $1,000 per person too much for three nights and airfare at an all inclusive? 

I mentioned this price tag to my co-worker and she had this look on her face like that was really high. 

We compared to prices at a non-all inclusive and the difference is only about $200. 

Thanks! 

Re: Guest Costs

  • edited June 2016
    What does everyone think is a reasonable amount to spend to attend a DW? 

    Is $1,000 per person too much for three nights and airfare at an all inclusive? 

    I mentioned this price tag to my co-worker and she had this look on her face like that was really high. 

    We compared to prices at a non-all inclusive and the difference is only about $200. 

    Thanks! 
    There is no one right answer here. For some people that may be out of the question, for others it's not too bad. Check with your VIPs; the people you can't imagine not being there on your wedding day. Ask them how much they could spend if you were having a DW. Don't ask if $1,000 or any specific number is too much, because it makes them have to tell you no, but rather ask how much they would feel comfortable spending. 

    ETA: fixed words. 
  • ^What she said, plus keep in mind that you cannot tell people they have to stay at a specific hotel for a specific number of nights. If you are dictating that, you should be picking up the bill.
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  • Not dictating number of nights at all, just using that as a typical number of nights for a long weekend getaway. 
  • Honestly it really depends.

    Is this PP?   Because if it is, I think that's actually pretty steep.   DH and I just flew to Florida for a DW and did two nights instead of 3 but we weren't at $2,000 PP.   It was also expensive and if the groom wasn't DH's life long friend we would have considered a different hotel or not going.   Depending on what's hitting in life, that's a lot.   And 3 nights means two days off of work which is another expense.

    Remember, with a DW, your guests are sharing a lot of the expense.   That can be too much for many. 
  • This is part of where we're struggling, while the up front package costs of attending a wedding in Florida vs Jamaica (as an example) are very different. Yet, the total cost may be the same once you factor in all the extras that come  with a Florida wedding. Things like a rental car, parking fees, daily resort fees, food, drink, other activities. Our assumption also being they would try and do some fun/relaxing things if they're taking a "vacation" to attend. 

    I know we're doing that in October for my friend's wedding, turning it into a 5 day weekend to have a vacation and visit Harry Potter land. :smile: 

    With an all inclusive, the up front package price is pretty much the final cost. They pick up/drop off to resort from airport, all the food /drink is included and a lot of on-site activities are free. 

    So if the Florida option pans out to about $900 a person (based on our estimates for each aspect of traveling mentioned above) but you're spending in smaller chunks as opposed to paying $1023 for an all inclusive Jamaica at one time... Is one better than the other? 

    I guess for me, I prefer the paying up front and knowing exactly how much I'm going to spend, versus adding things up after I get home and realizing it cost a lot more than I thought. 

    Maybe that's more the question, All inclusive or not an all inclusive? 
  • This is part of where we're struggling, while the up front package costs of attending a wedding in Florida vs Jamaica (as an example) are very different. Yet, the total cost may be the same once you factor in all the extras that come  with a Florida wedding. Things like a rental car, parking fees, daily resort fees, food, drink, other activities. Our assumption also being they would try and do some fun/relaxing things if they're taking a "vacation" to attend. 

    I know we're doing that in October for my friend's wedding, turning it into a 5 day weekend to have a vacation and visit Harry Potter land. :smile: 

    With an all inclusive, the up front package price is pretty much the final cost. They pick up/drop off to resort from airport, all the food /drink is included and a lot of on-site activities are free. 

    So if the Florida option pans out to about $900 a person (based on our estimates for each aspect of traveling mentioned above) but you're spending in smaller chunks as opposed to paying $1023 for an all inclusive Jamaica at one time... Is one better than the other? 

    I guess for me, I prefer the paying up front and knowing exactly how much I'm going to spend, versus adding things up after I get home and realizing it cost a lot more than I thought. 

    Maybe that's more the question, All inclusive or not an all inclusive? 
    Are your from the Florida area where traveling just for the day is optional for people?

    One of the hard parts of a DW is that it's going to be expensive for your guests, if they're recalling, no matter where you choose. So Florida vs. Jamaica probably won't be all that different price wise, although Jamaica would require passports and international travel if you're U.S. based. Most guests will think about the costs of Jamaica vs an in town wedding. 

    I still think you're first step should be talking to your VIPs and see if they can swing a DW. If they say yes then you can ask them if they prefer AI (and thus international because in the USA AI is often illegal) or non-AI and domestic. You can also ask them how much PP is their budget and help to keep the average costs under that. Remember just because we price out things at a particular resort people may choose to stay elsewhere. 
  • All the guests but two are located in Michigan, one does happen to be in Florida. We have talked to most of the VIPs and they're fine with going wherever and doing whatever to get there. We're also 17 months out, so hopefully that gives people plenty of time to save if necessary. 

    We do know that we'll be footing the bill for at least one of our mothers, if not both. So that factors in as well, for us and trying to make it affordable for us and the guests. 

    When people choose to stay at another hotel, is there a code as to who pays the daily resort fee for people to attend the wedding?  I saw at one place it was $125 for a day pass.
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2016
    All the guests but two are located in Michigan, one does happen to be in Florida. We have talked to most of the VIPs and they're fine with going wherever and doing whatever to get there. We're also 17 months out, so hopefully that gives people plenty of time to save if necessary. 

    We do know that we'll be footing the bill for at least one of our mothers, if not both. So that factors in as well, for us and trying to make it affordable for us and the guests. 

    When people choose to stay at another hotel, is there a code as to who pays the daily resort fee for people to attend the wedding?  I saw at one place it was $125 for a day pass.
     1) Once you've talked to all of the VIPs and they're on board for a DW, you're in the clear to plan your DW.

    2) Your resort won't waive this fee for guests of your wedding?  If not, I think you and your FI should be responsible for this cost.  The guests have paid airfare and hotel, etc., so any day-of ceremony/reception cost shouldn't be on them.  They've traveled a long way and deserve to be properly hosted (full meal, open bar, and no extra fees like day passes).

    Another important DW tip is that guests attending may be looking to make this into a vacation, since they're taking time off from work and paying airfare/hotel anyway.  There shouldn't be mandated wedding-related or planned family activities every day.  Guests may want to do their own thing every day except for your wedding.  And you said yourself that you and FI are doing that in October so I know you already know this, just wanted to add it for any lurkers.

    ETA spelling :|
  • If all but 2 of your guests are in MI have it there. 
  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I think 3 nights in Jamaica at an AI is too expensive because I stayed 6 nights at one for less than that and we have done Mexico for 7 nights for about 1K pp so I would likely not attend your DW. 

    At at least your FL option people could choose to drive vs fly or other hotels or stay with friends/family to reduce costs potentially whereas there's  no way to cut down at the AI
  • Like PP said no one can tell you what is too expensive but your guests. Also I agree that any day pass fees for the resort you choose should be covered by you and your FI. 

    Personally DH and I prefer AI because we like to know the full cost up front but I know a lot of people who don't because they like to have more options for dining, activities, etc... So again check with your guests. 

    I will say that DH and I aren't spending $2000 to go to a wedding unless the person is really close to us, there are about 3 people I can think of that we would consider it for. However we're hoping to buy a house soon and are TTC so there's a good chance we might not be able to swing it for even those people...

    If all but 2 of your guests are in MI have it there. 
    Kind of have to agree with STARMOON on this one. I mean you're in the clear to have it anywhere you want but it seems like such a shame to make EVERYONE travel when they are all located so close. We only invited 60 people to ours and invites went out to 15 states from Maine to Texas to California and 1 in the UK. We had it close to where we live now but almost everyone would have to travel no matter where we had which was a bummer. 
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  • Ditto @kvruns. I have done Cancun for 6 nights $1,000 each so I would personally not spend that much for 3 nights. I also wouldn't even go for 3 nights no matter the cost. I need to make air/travel time worth it by being there long enough.

                                                                     

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  • Even if you have a DW, you do not need to do it at an all-inclusive and pick up the day passes. We had ours at a beach club, and while most guests opted to stay at a nearby AI, some stayed at an adults-only resort, and others at rental houses and condos. You get more freedom getting married off resort. Which is what I did.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • You do not get to decide what your guests should spend to attend your wedding.  That is up to them.  They will either accept or decline, but it will be easier if they have some choices.
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