I just need to talk it out...
I have a difficult family dynamic. My Mom had 4 children(she had me when she was just 19) with 3 different men and has also had a long struggle with drugs and alcohol. My Mom didn't raise any of her 4 kids, the first 3(Myself, Sister, and Brother A) of us were raised separately by various(amazing) family members, while the youngest brother (Brother
was given up for adoption.
My Mom is finally clean and sober however, my sister and I still continually feel like we are her parents. She always makes statements about how she is "emotionally a teenager" and doesn't have it together. Before my Mom was clean and sober my sister and I went through a lot with her. From abusive boyfriends and drug overdoses to suicide attempts and bailing her out of jail. During these years when Brother B would come to visit we would all put our best faces on and act like every thing was fine and dandy for the few days or weeks he was here. There were visits where no one had seen my Mom for months and we had no idea if she'd show up and she would and everyone would act like we just saw her yesterday. We all did this because we wanted what was best for brother B and we thought that acting normal would be good for him.
What has instead ended up happening is that he idolized my Mom and our "family". The family that adopted him is amazing and they so kind and loving. However, anytime they try to enforce normal rules on him (curfew or chores) he acts out and says he wants to be with his real family. When he was 13 he ran away from home to try to make it to California where we all live and made a few hours from home before police found him hitch hiking.
My siblings and I have always thought that him being adopted was what was best for him. We always thought that it was his best chance at the best possible future. However, we got the news last night that he has dropped out of high school and gotten his girlfriend pregnant. They are 17 and 16.
My Mom is super excited for her first grandchild and isn't at all concerned that he is 17 and has no education and can't provide for a child at all. She said "this is what happens in Missouri" that its normal and I'm being ridiculous.
Brother B's girlfriend texted my sister to ask if she was excited for them and my sister told them no, that she is scared for them and that they have no idea how hard it is going to be.
I texted the girlfriend to let her know that while she doesn't know me, she can talk to me if she ever needs to and that she has options. She called me a murdered and told me she "loves her baby" and that her family is supportive. Neither of her parents work and they live with her grandparents. Its all a mess.
On top of all of this, Friday they posted photos on social media of themselves drinking beer, taking shots of hard alcohol and smoking, but she told my sister that she has know she was pregnant for weeks.
I'm at such a loss. I know that I can't control other peoples decisions but I'm just so sad for them. I know that people get pregnant as teenagers and have babies young all the time and it works out, but for me, its so hard because we went through so much to try to be better than where we came from and now he just starting life with such a a tough road ahead.