Wedding Etiquette Forum

Tiered weddings

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Re: Tiered weddings

  • I think in Englang there are more circles that don't do either of this things.
  • I think in Englang there are more circles that don't do either of this things.
    I've seen it, always side-eye it, and decline. As do most of my friends who have been unfortunate enough to get invited as this. 

    I don't know anyone who likes it considering how previlant it can be.

    cash bars- just no! 
  • I've been invited to a tiered reception 2 times.      Both OOT.  I had no problem attending either one of them.

    1) my cousin - I was invited to both parts.    The ceremony was held at their long-time church.    Unfortunately, it was a very small church.  So they only invited immediate family  (that side of the family is very small, so including first cousins didn't add much to the count).   The reception was much larger.   People were fine with the situation.  They understood how much the church meant to the couple.

    2)  DH's cousin.   We were only invited to the reception.  It was bride's 2nd wedding, groom's first.    She wanted a small wedding, he wanted to celebrate with family and friends.  Compromise was parents and siblings only at the ceremony (about 10 people).  Then about 60+ at a dinner/dance later.      MIL was disappointed missing the ceremony, but still liked being able to celebrate on the actually wedding day.



    I will admit I do not get all mushy at the ceremony.  I also do not generally get offended at family/friends inviting me to an event to hang out with other family/friends with food, booze and dancing (my social group always has full meals, open bar and dancing).   Sure it would be nice to see the ceremony, but I like the reception part better anyway.    I like seeing the couple glowing.  I like hanging with family/friends.   

    Now if you invited me to just a dance portion with a cash bar.   Hell NO, that would be an easy decline.









    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Mostly a lurker here...but I was invited to my first tiered wedding this winter for my FI's best friend. We went out to dinner with them right after the engagement and they told us they were having their ceremony Friday at city hall by themselves and big reception the next day.

    I really don't have an issue with that, but they're reasoning was that they're an "off beat" couple and didn't want a traditional wedding. I could see how hurt FI and their other best friend was about not being able to be there. It just kind of sucks. It's their choice, so we'll go and dance our butts off at the reception, but FI does kind of wish he could see his best friend get married.
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