Wedding 911

Eloped: Breaking the News

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Re: Eloped: Breaking the News

  • I told all of my family over the holiday weekend (it was also my birthday weekend). 99% of the reactions were very positive. It's a difficult topic to broach while you're sitting with your grandparents having birthday cake lol. Overall, everything went great, thanks for the tips!
    glasgowtolondonOurWildKingdomOliveOilsMom
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    edited June 2016
    I'm so glad you got a positive reception! Not nearly as scary as you thought it would be.  :)
  • *Update*

    Now that my family knows all the details about our elopement, they want us to do a PPD! Not a big one (35ish attending), but it will def have flowers, an aisle, vows and rings, and a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant afterwards. 

    My first thought was "who would want to come to a reenactment" but it seems like majority of my family would actually like it.

    Is this kind of thing frowned upon? Yes. Am I being forced to do it? Not really. Will we do this so that my family is happy and feels included? You bet your ass! (lol) Not all PPD's are in poor taste. Sometimes you have to go against the grain to make your grandma smile :)
  • *Update*

    Now that my family knows all the details about our elopement, they want us to do a PPD! Not a big one (35ish attending), but it will def have flowers, an aisle, vows and rings, and a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant afterwards. 

    My first thought was "who would want to come to a reenactment" but it seems like majority of my family would actually like it.

    Is this kind of thing frowned upon? Yes. Am I being forced to do it? Not really. Will we do this so that my family is happy and feels included? You bet your ass! (lol) Not all PPD's are in poor taste. Sometimes you have to go against the grain to make your grandma smile :)
    Eh, honestly, as long as all of your guests know you eloped (i.e. you're not lying to them or leading them to believe they are witnessing your real wedding), I am fine with a PPD. Do I personally enjoy watching re-enactments? Not really, but I would attend if it was someone I was close to and it mattered to them. In fact, I DID attend a PPD last summer for a very close friend. I side-eyed it a little bit, but since they did not lie to anyone about it, I viewed it more as a "to each their own" kind of thing.
    Yes, everyone in attendance will know that we eloped. The invitation will be worded as such and there will be a note that states we were wed on X date in X city, state. 
  • I'm PPD-lite.  If your family all knows what it is and chooses to attend then I don't mind them.  But out of genuine curiosity, why are you going along with this?  You eloped for a reason.
    We eloped because we wanted to be married sooner rather than later, it wasn't to get out of having a wedding. I'm going along with this because my family means so much to me that I would gladly play dress up and pretend to make them happy. My family wants this to happen, it was totally their idea.
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I'm PPD-lite.  If your family all knows what it is and chooses to attend then I don't mind them.  But out of genuine curiosity, why are you going along with this?  You eloped for a reason.
    We eloped because we wanted to be married sooner rather than later, it wasn't to get out of having a wedding. I'm going along with this because my family means so much to me that I would gladly play dress up and pretend to make them happy. My family wants this to happen, it was totally their idea.
    The snarky side of me is saying "as long as they pay for it."

    A reenactment for 35 in-the-know people, eh. It does seem like something that will just make your family happy; and it's not like it's a 200-person gift-grab bonanza. Have fun! 
    ________________________________


    Greenjinjo
  • AddieCake said:
    Why did you elope if you're just going to have a PPD? Why not just have done a wedding with friends and family the first time around?


    So much this.

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  • AddieCake said:
    Why did you elope if you're just going to have a PPD? Why not just have done a wedding with friends and family the first time around?
    As stated before: This PPD was my family's idea, not mine.
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    AddieCake said:
    Why did you elope if you're just going to have a PPD? Why not just have done a wedding with friends and family the first time around?
    As stated before: This PPD was my family's idea, not mine.
    Um, then say no?  I don't know what you thought you would gain by coming back and telling us about rude plans.  


    image
    InLoveInQueensOliveOilsMom
  • edited June 2016
    *Update*

    Now that my family knows all the details about our elopement, they want us to do a PPD! Not a big one (35ish attending), but it will def have flowers, an aisle, vows and rings, and a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant afterwards. 

    My first thought was "who would want to come to a reenactment" but it seems like majority of my family would actually like it.

    Is this kind of thing frowned upon? Yes. Am I being forced to do it? Not really. Will we do this so that my family is happy and feels included? You bet your ass! (lol) Not all PPD's are in poor taste. Sometimes you have to go against the grain to make your grandma smile :)
    I'm glad your family took the elopement well, but I just don't get the bolded. You know this is rude, you're choosing to do it anyway, and you're posting it here to what, flaunt that you're doing something "frowned upon"? I don't understand. 
    spockforprez100yroldblinddogsparklepants41cowgirl8238
  • *Update*

    Now that my family knows all the details about our elopement, they want us to do a PPD! Not a big one (35ish attending), but it will def have flowers, an aisle, vows and rings, and a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant afterwards. 

    My first thought was "who would want to come to a reenactment" but it seems like majority of my family would actually like it.

    Is this kind of thing frowned upon? Yes. Am I being forced to do it? Not really. Will we do this so that my family is happy and feels included? You bet your ass! (lol) Not all PPD's are in poor taste. Sometimes you have to go against the grain to make your grandma smile :)


    You should have just kept this update to yourself.  Not many people here will applaud you for this decision.  Having a nice dinner with family to celebrate your union is perfectly fine.  Having the flowers, aisle, vows, rings, etc is what makes your plans so wrong.  And you KNOW they are wrong.  Why couldn't you just be happy with the ceremony that actually united you and your H in marriage?  Because THAT is the one that actually counts.

    I'll go against the grain and applaud you for making your grandma smile. ;) As long as you're honest with everyone, and they're the ones who want this (it's not just you not owning your own decisions) I think you're making a fine choice! 
    OurWildKingdomkimmiinthemittenmadamerwin
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited June 2016
    AddieCake said:
    Why did you elope if you're just going to have a PPD? Why not just have done a wedding with friends and family the first time around?
    As stated before: This PPD was my family's idea, not mine.
    So why not say, "No thanks; we already got married the way we wanted to." It seems to me that if you really cared to "make your family happy and make them feel included," you would have done so in the first place. 

    I've got no problems with PPDs in certain cases. Yours doesn't warrant one in my opinion. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    OurWildKingdomHeffalumpSP29
  • *Update*

    Now that my family knows all the details about our elopement, they want us to do a PPD! Not a big one (35ish attending), but it will def have flowers, an aisle, vows and rings, and a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant afterwards. 

    My first thought was "who would want to come to a reenactment" but it seems like majority of my family would actually like it.

    Is this kind of thing frowned upon? Yes. Am I being forced to do it? Not really. Will we do this so that my family is happy and feels included? You bet your ass! (lol) Not all PPD's are in poor taste. Sometimes you have to go against the grain to make your grandma smile :)


    You should have just kept this update to yourself.  Not many people here will applaud you for this decision.  Having a nice dinner with family to celebrate your union is perfectly fine.  Having the flowers, aisle, vows, rings, etc is what makes your plans so wrong.  And you KNOW they are wrong.  Why couldn't you just be happy with the ceremony that actually united you and your H in marriage?  Because THAT is the one that actually counts.

    I'll go against the grain and applaud you for making your grandma smile. ;) As long as you're honest with everyone, and they're the ones who want this (it's not just you not owning your own decisions) I think you're making a fine choice! 
    I'm with you on this... If literally everyone knows it's a re-enactment, and everyone wants to watch this re-enactment, who cares? The "rude" part of PPDs, in my opinion, is the lying to guests, not the simple act of holding a PPD. Personally, I would feel a little foolish re-enacting my wedding, but I see no harm in it if everyone attending is on the same page.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    OurWildKingdomshort+sassy
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Will you be having a WP at this PPD and splitting them from their dates at dinner?

    Geese, guys, everyone knows that if the family wants a party, you're obligated to throw one.

    Anniversary

    InLoveInQueens
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited July 2016
    My dear grandmother was married at the age of 17.  It wasn't legal because she was under age and lied about her age, but it was recorded as her legal wedding.  She was also heavily pregnant, which was a huge taboo in 1923.
    She absolutely refused to have another ceremony later.  She and grandpa lived happily ever after.
    I have so much respect for her memory.
    I suggest you follow her example of honoring your wedding ceremony by not repeating any part of it.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdom
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