Chit Chat

Family Issues


I'd like advice for this situation, please. My brother has recently started going to therapy. He had my mom go to one of his appointments. My mom told me that not much happened at that appt except my brother had said he did something really really bad. But he wouldn't say what and she's afraid to ask him. A week ago, the three of us spent the day together. When my brother and I were alone, he told me that my mom said she was molested between ages 3-10 and he was trying to figure out who did that to her. I was surprised but didn't really have much to say at the time. My brother is pretty upset about this, he thinks it was her brother (I don't know why he thinks that, I don't), said this was probably a big factor in the fact that we grew up with trauma.

I feel like my brother overreacts, I don' think we had a traumatic childhood. And I was also molested when I was 3-4 and my brother doesn't know that. No one knows except my husband and I don't feel like I should have to tell my brother but I also feel like maybe that explains why it's not a huge deal to me. I went through years of therapy in my 20's and 30's and I feel like I've dealt with all of this. I do want to support him in his therapy, though. So he wants to talk about this, I don't really, because he thinks I'm in shock or something because I'm not reacting like he is.


Re: Family Issues

  • BoychuckerBoychucker member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited July 2016
    Thank you. I knew i was making light of my  being molested. I will tell my brother that. My mom didn't tell me but told my brother during his therapy session and he told me that he was breaking a confidence by telling me about my mom. 

    When she told me about him doing something really bad, that was also in confidence.
  • If you don't want to talk about this to your brother or your mother, tell them clearly that you don't want to be involved with these conversations and to please not being them up to you. 

    No one should judge how you have/do handle trauma and as such you should not judge how your brother handles what he feels has been trauma. People deal with trauma in different ways, and don't always have "typical" reactions but they should be respected and their feelings about these events are valid. 
  • How do you know your brother wasn't molested and just hasn't said anything? Maybe that's why he suspects your uncle. Just a thought.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards