Wedding Woes

Unrequited crush wants to be my hang out buddy

Dear Prudence,
I moved into a new place this year and have developed a serious crush on my next-door neighbor (we are both guys: I am gay, and he is straight). Over the past few months we have become friends, and he often invites me to hang out, and we get along well. I have just about gotten past the blushing, tongue-tied stage of the crush but still have strong feelings that I know are unrequited. I don’t think that I could ever tell him how I really feel without risking our friendship, and I would never dream of making a move on him. The longer this goes on the more uncomfortable I feel. I enjoy our evenings together a lot and worry I am taking advantage somehow by accepting his invitations when he is clueless about how I really feel. Should I stop seeing him?

—Cut Contact With Crush?

Re: Unrequited crush wants to be my hang out buddy

  • Sounds like you made a friend. Unless he is giving you money, I fail to see how you are taking advantage of his friendship. If you don't feel you can handle hanging out like normal people then cut it off but I really don't understand the issue.
  • Sounds like you made a friend. Unless he is giving you money, I fail to see how you are taking advantage of his friendship. If you don't feel you can handle hanging out like normal people then cut it off but I really don't understand the issue.
    Maybe he pops wood every time he sees him?
  • I don't see issue with being friends. How many teenagers end up being friends with their crush? I know I did. Sometimes the closest one will get to being with them is just friends.

    Also .... curious if friend knows LW is gay? If not, maybe that's what LW is worried about.
  • I don't think LW should stop the friendship just because of the crush.  But maybe he shouldn't accept every invitation.  He should take some time for himself to get over the crush as best he can.  That way he can continue the friendship and hopefully be able to move on and find a person who will/can love him back in the way he wants.
  • I think the relationship sounds unhealthy for the LW.  I don't think he should cut the guy out of his life completely, because good friends are important relationships also.  But back off on the friendship and the time spent together until he is more comfortable "only, always, and forever" being in the friend zone.

    I'm with @MissKittyDanger, I'm wondering if he hasn't even told his friend he is gay.  I could see that being part of the problem and "guilt" the LW seems to feel, even though there is nothing to feel guilty about.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We've all been there, right? It just never ends well. Bonus points for the fact that the guy he likes isn't even into guys. 
                 
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