GTKY - Come out and play!

labro · August 2016

Work is driving me nuts right now and I swear NEY is the only thing keeping me sane.

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?

[Deleted User] · August 2016

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?
My dream engagement ring is basically what my H got me. I didn't want anything detailed in particular. I wanted a simple solitaire diamond and that's what he proposed with. I like it because it's timeless and comfortable. It's always going to be something that I will look down at and love for the years to come.
I just cleaned it actually a week ago:

Image: https://scontent.fash1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/13987976_10207463877611623_239928350_o.jpg?oh=83f4c87eccbe4c4df04a25c47080d336&oe=57B81BA3

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?
We have a joint account for daily expenses and separate savings accounts for various things...emergency, our daughter's college fund, vacation/whatever savings. Not too complicated lol. DH handles all the expenses since I plan to quit my job come October. I put most of the money I earn into savings or paying off my student loans.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?
Omg so many things. My ex-bf was an asshole and treated me like crap. My DH is the exact opposite times a million. He treasures myself and our daughter and puts us before everything. My ex was very selfish and put himself in front of our relationship in every situation. Our future together did not look successful.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?

Image: http://content.mediastg.net/dyna_images//mls/168/5705335.jpg

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?
1 Year: Hopefully we will have another baby in our house or I will be pregnant with our 2nd child. I see us still living in the same house and I'll be home full-time. I also hope DH will have a new job as an Assistant Principal or Academic Coach.

5 years: I see us potentially in another house...hopefully bigger with 4 bedrooms instead of 3. If we decide to have 3 children then maybe another baby haha. In 5 years I hope that DH will be looking into principal positions or maybe already have one. My little girl will probably be starting kindergarten which makes me want to cry.

10 years: All done baby making for sure lol. Definitely be in a larger home and maybe another puppy child haha. Callie will be 10 at this point. OMG...that's so weird to think about.

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?
Short term- Pay off student loans by next year, have another baby or get pregnant, quit my job by this Fall.

Long term- Move into another larger home in maybe 5 years, more children, more puppies, travel once the kids are older and independent.

labro · August 2016

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?
Before H and I got engaged, I was a teensy bit BSC and would browse on Brilliant Earth for my ideal e-ring. I think this is one of the designs I really loved.

Image: http://image.brilliantearth.com/media/shape_images/BF/BE141_round_white_top.jpg

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?
Before we were engaged, but living together, everything was separate. We split all of our household bills 50/50. I think I paid for most of them through my account and he sent me money every month to cover his half. He generally paid for our entertainment, eating out, etc. and I covered most groceries. After we were engaged things mostly stayed the same but we started shifting to a focus on paying off our debt. He took on more of the burden of bills, and we focused more on using my money to pay down our student loans but things were still mostly separate and we didn't have a budget or a way of tracking our expenses. After marriage we finally shifted to 100% of my income paying off our debt - student loans, and eventually car loans, and all of his income became our joint household account. We made up a strict budget for all of our regular expenses, with equal amounts of "fun" money for each of us to have every month to spend or save as we wished. I'm really grateful we've been able to do it this way since now we literally have one person's income that is all going towards savings and future long-term financial goals and we're able to live comfortably on the other income.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had? Definitely trust and communication are the two big ones. We communicate more openly and frequently about anything and everything. My past relationships were either really immature high school ones, or young adult/college relationships that I don't think really grasped the seriousness of a married partnership. I think on another level, our physical attraction for each other is much much more than anything I've experienced with anyone else as well.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?
This home is actually slightly under budget at $310k, but it has 4 beds, 2 baths, a basement, a 2 car garage, it's on a one acre lot, AND most importantly...look at that front porch!

Image: http://ap.rdcpix.com/1309245577/2cf02886c9df4317b2e1c90ccbf9cbb8l-m0xd-w640_h480_q80.jpg

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?
1 year - Either living in So. Cal if H gets a new job, or in a new house closer to work. Oh and this time next year I will be on a plane flying back from my 2 1/2 week long trip to NORWAY!
5 years - I think in 5 years I definitely want to have one or two kids. I'd like to see us closer to hitting a point in our finances where we can start to think about and plan for early retirement.
10 years - Eeek...in 10 years I'll be 39. That's tough to think about. In 10 years time, I'd like to be either at a high level in my job or possibly exploring new opportunities. Depending on how the kids thing goes, I may or may not SAH and be involved in volunteer work.
What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?
Short term - Improve our month to month expenses so we're saving more money. I think we spend too much on eating out and random expenditures. We track everything, but I think we need better discipline. Get better at following the WW path.
Mid term - Lose weight and live a healthier life style. I guess this is a mix of mid term/long term since it will be a life-long process, but in the mid-term, the focus will be on getting to a healthy balance and long-term will be maintaining it.
Long term - Maintain a healthy weight/life style. Achieve early retirement. Save enough money to be able to take nice vacations at least once a year and not have to be concerned about finances.

speakeasy14 · August 2016

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?

Sneak peek Custom Couture-0429R sparkles Verragio

Sneak peek Custom Couture-0429R sparkles Verragio

Something like these -- I really like detailed bands

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?
We have separate bank accounts. He pays the taxes, utilities, and any other random bill. I pay for the mortgage, food shopping, paper products, and dog stuff. It ends up being split evenly. We jointly pay for car insurance and will take turns treating each other on date nights. For vacations, he usually pays for the trip, and I'll pay for excursions and anything extra. -- I don't know if it will change if we ever get married, or if we'll end up opening a joint account. For now this is what works for us.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?
To start, this isn't an abusive relationship like my past. But aside from that, we're a team. We started as friends and have always been open and honest with one another. I can be my weird, goofy self, as can he. There's a level of comfort that I've never experienced before. There is no hesitation with each other's family. 6 years and I still get butterflies.... but also, he was around during a very low point in my life, and instead of leaving, helped pick up the pieces.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?
You asked this same amount the other day hahaha ---

Listed for $349,900

Image: http://ap.rdcpix.com/1574689221/2119dd967ef7250fc4c1d797bb9375f6l-m0xd-w640_h480_q80.jpg

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?
I always hated these questions, because I have no idea what I'm doing next week let alone 5-10 years from now!

1 year - Probably moving into the next house -- we've already started looking, so really just depends on the amount of work required. Hopefully in a new role at work.

5 years - Have at least 2 rental houses

10 years - Have at least 5 rental houses and be settled in forever home

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?
Short-term: At least 2 vacations a year
Mid-term: Over the next 5 years, work on getting rid/renting out current house and gaining at least one more
Long-term: Save enough for retirement, Pay off student loans before I retire, Advance in my career.

minskat30 · August 2016

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?

I love mine...its exactly what I wanted because I helped H design it.

I thought I wanted a halo but when I tried it on, it just wasn't for me.

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?

We are both careful with money. We link our accounts (we have a joint account but its easier to keep out accounts separate but linked) to mint and have budget discussions often (I think I've posted about this before and H's hilarious need to go really, really in depth into the discussion). I'm more of a spender than he is but we are working on it....both of us...because he can be a bit "we don't need that" when we do in fact need it.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?

There is complete trust, complete honesty (even when the truth hurts) and a lot of mutual respect and love.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?

Its really hard to find a home in my neighborhood for $350k unfortunately.

I would probably buy our house again...which was a little more than $350k but needed a TON of work...gutted kitchen, gutted bath and a half, finishing a basement, adding a bathroom, etc, etc. @labro - I think I have a video of our home before and I'll show it to you after I give you the grand tour.

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?

1 year - Probably not doing too much different. Raising Ani and cherishing every moment I get with her. We'll have made our first trip to India by then and hopefully will make a trip to Mexico with her too.

5 years - Hopefully another kiddo but we'll see. We'll probably still be here but I'm hoping H's business will take off by then and we can get some more financial freedom.

10 years - Hopefully retired honestly. But I doubt it. I don't even want to THINK about Ani being that old but I will tell you in 10 years she'll have more stamps on her passport than you could ever believe...we are traveling with her as many places as we can.

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?

Short term - Survive motherhood and sleep deprivation. Some how manage to go back to work too. I don't know how I'm going to balance this yet.

Mid-term - Hopefully raise a healthy polite little girl and maybe a second kiddo. Work our butts off so we can retire early. Travel everywhere with Ani and each other.

Long-term - Retire early (in 10-15 years) and live in Mexico. I want to own a tiki bar and grill by the ocean and wake up each morning to the sound of the waves.

labro · August 2016

@minskat30 Ughhh fuck that!! It really makes me grateful for our low COL housing!

@speakeasy14 I did, but this time I wanted to see what people would buy for themselves based on a certain budget. Not just what was available.

I love the colors of that home!

GoldenPenguin · August 2016

Oh, hello

'Member me?

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?
I have my dream engagement ring!

Image: https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13939334_10101097333881143_3417619902566381393_n.jpg?oh=3b74327943b7992fa227756c304b95b7&oe=5811ECD4

Before I knew morganite was a thing, I wanted a very similar ring, but with diamonds. A delicate oval with a halo. Like this:

Image: http://www.loveandpromisejewelers.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/670x500/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/r/e/rebecca_8x6mm_14kt_white_gold_oval_white_sapphire_and_diamonds_halo_engagement_ring_other_metals_and_stone_options_available_1wm.jpg

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?
We both have separate accounts, and a joint account that we both move money into. We split the bills up so we're both responsible for roughly the same amount (he pays a little more, but he also makes more than I do.) We are both contributing to savings.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had? It just IS. I've never had to question anything with H - I always knew exactly where he stood in regards to our relationship, where it was going, and what he wanted out of it. He's never given me any reason to not trust him fully and completely. We both tend to hold things in when we're bothered by stuff, but we are both aware of it, and are able to communicate through it, even if we don't really want to. And, I still look at him and thing "gosh, I love him" on a very regular basis. Like, every day. haha.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?
Dis one. In Rhode Island. With water access. For $339k.

Image: http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISecyus2l7blfz0000000000.jpg

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?
1 Year: Getting settled in RI, in awesome new jobs, seeing our families regularly, spending lots of time w/our sweet niece who will be a year old and SO MUCH FUN.

5 Years: I'll be 40. SHIT. Rocking out being the best auntie ever.

10 Years: Happy and healthy, doing lots of fun things, kicking ass at being in my mid-40's.

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?
Short term: Getting my resume updated and ready to apply for jobs. Doing things around the house to make it ready to put on the market. Attempting to still do a good job at my current job.

Mid-term: Finding an awesome job that I love, that doesn't make me cry on a weekly basis. Selling our house and finding another one that we love. Spending more time with our families.

Long term: Really settling down in a new place that we love. Being in a lovely location, near our families, and finally being totally happy.

speakeasy14 · August 2016

@labro haha gotcha! -- The house I picked has the same colors as the house I grew up in, but that porch :-D

Peaseblossom55 · August 2016

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring? I got the ring I always dreamed of, it was more than perfect actually.

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already? We have a joint checking/savings and each have our checking/savings accounts.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had? It's so easy, it's hard to explain. He is so wonderful and makes me so incredibly happy.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy? I really would not be able to buy anything decent with that budget around here.... it sucks.

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? I really don't know, lately I've been so focused on the day to day

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals? Bring a live baby into this world, other than that just being happy.

AlPacina · August 2016

What does your dream engagement ring look like?

Something BLUE! With a little extra sparkle would be ideal, but I'm not picky.

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?

We split the mortgage 50/50 and I pay almost all of the other bills. I want this to change pretty much immediately. When we get married I expect a joint account. We haven't been able to agree on logistics yet, which is holding it up, but I think we're on the same page that a joint account needs to happen so I'm not taking so much of the financial weight.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?

100% honesty. We had our issues at the beginning because I think we were TOO honest. But we've found the balance, and we talk out EVERYTHING. That's definitely new for me as well.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?

I would buy my current home! The extra money goes towards new siding, a hot tub, and a third car spot in the garage. Look how purty it is!

Image: http://photos3.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISlmz4k7yxnr251000000000.jpg

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?

1 year - Hopefully in a new department at my current company. Potentially engaged, but I'm not holding my breath.

5 years - Basically the same. But married, I guess? Hopefully a lot better at cooking.

10 years - I really still want to live in the same place, work for the same company, have the same dog, and be married to the same man. That would be ideal. Sounds lame, but I love it here, and I love my house and my workplace.

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?

Short term - Get a promotion asap!

Mid term - Get out of the country again and travel a lot more often than I have been.

Long term - Set myself up for a very comfortable retirement.

labro · August 2016

@AlPacina I can't recall if I've ever seen a photo of your house before! It's beautiful!!!

AlPacina · August 2016

@labro & @TwoDimes - Omigosh, thank you! I really do just want to live there forever.

Keisha84 · August 2016

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?

My dream engagement ring would be rose gold with a thin band. That's the only requests I have made

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?

Right now we keep our accounts separate since we don't live together. We discussed how things will change once we get married and one joint account for expenses and bills and we will keep separate accounts foe everything else. We have discussed what each other responsibilities would be financially and are in general agreement. We split any expenses now about 60/40 and that would continue when we get married.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?

Where do I start?!?!? I didn't feel I had to change to be with him, but he's made me a better person. I trust him completely and don't have to waste energy trying to be a junior detective. He's made my world better.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?

I'm looking at everyone's pictures and wow I'm so jealous. $350k could barely get me a 2 bedroom condo here in Toronto

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?

1 year: Engaged, planning my wedding and looking for my forever home. Being debt free or very close
5 years: Happily married with 1-2 kids and living comfortably. Which means savings for the kid's education and retirement
10 years: Hitting my career goals of senior management and watching my family grow. I would be 42 and hopefully have a nice retirement investment portfolio

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?

Short term: Buy a house and get married
Mid-term: Go back to school
Long term: Purchase a lake front cottage that the whole family can enjoy for years.

labro · August 2016

@Keisha84 I Just can't even imagine the home prices. Between you and @peaseblossom55 who can't even find anything available in her area for that price point...it absolutely BLOWS my mind!

MissKittyDanger · August 2016

@Keisha84 are your looking in the city or outside? I hear North York is cheaper-ish

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?
I never wanted something plain. I wanted something different. For years I wanted something sapphire - birthstone - but when I saw my e-ring I fell in love with it.

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?
We discuss budget but given my job, I actually make up the budget. It's just easier and more organized. Only joint account is for mortgage/property tax/condo fees

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?
It started with little things. He would be there after work just to walk the couple blocks before heading home. Then things were just smoother than other relationships. No questioning things.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?
I still would get the home I bought, which was only $191k after everything

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?
1 year - we're going to TTC and I'm going to start my counseling course.
5 years - Hopefully done another course through work
10 years - MAYBE another course.

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?
Depends on the goal. TTC in a year is a mid-term goal but we have short-term goals to reach that goal. Things we need/want to do.

Short - 6 months
Mid - 1-2 yrs
Long - 5+yrs

Peaseblossom55 · August 2016

@labro I could find a home for $350K in my town/area but it would be a smaller home and a downgrade 1/2 of the bedrooms, bathrooms and square footage.

Image: http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_h/IS1zz9zbtwucid0000000000.jpg

labro · August 2016

@Peaseblossom55 That's totally fair. It's like, if you didn't WANT to buy something at that price then why would you? Here it gets you a pretty nice house so I tried to choose a number that seemed reasonable lol. Guess that doesn't work out so much!

Peaseblossom55 · August 2016

@labro yea NJ sucks sometimes....

speakeasy14 · August 2016

@Peaseblossom55 just jump the border and we can be neighbors. Lower taxes too!

Peaseblossom55 · August 2016

@speakeasy14 we thought about it when we were home buying but it puts us further from family and for work for H.

Keisha84 · August 2016

@labro it's absolutely crazy. A million gets you an old as hell semi detached that needs to be gutted

@MissKittyDanger I'm actually looking in Brampton. Even then for a three bedroom detach I'm looking at $450k+. It's still a lot but much better than Toronto

cu97tiger · August 2016

@goldenpenguin - Your ring is just too gorgeous! And I will come visit you at your RI house....

@labro - I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO HAVE LIL LABROS!

@alpacina - That house is adorable

I'm late, but I'm playing....

What does your dream engagement ring look like? If you're engaged/married, what did you always THINK you wanted in an e-ring?

Here's my dream engagement ring, if I could do it all over again.

I knew that I wanted something simple, not overly ornate. I did not realize how much I would come to LOVE bling.... so now that I have it, I want more, but I still very much love my (second) simple e-ring.

Image: http://www.brides.com/images/2012_bridescom/Editorial_Images/09/blake-livelys-engagement-ring/large/blake-livelys-engagement-ring-lookalikes-013-REV.jpg

How do you and your SO handle finances? How do you think it will change when you're married if you're not already?

Our finances have evolved quite a bit over time, as we continue to figure out what works for us individually and as a couple. We got a joint account after we got engaged. We now use that as our main account for expected bills. We have a second account for 'travel/gift' savings (meaning, we know it will be spent, we do not expect that account to continually grow). And then the remainder of our paychecks goes into our spending account, which we use for dinners out, online purchases, etc. This is after we already account for both our 401ks and another savings account.

What makes this relationship better than any previous one you've had?

How much we truly LIKE each other. I am completely myself around him and it is a wonderful feeling. We are very much opposites in a lot of ways, but it makes life even better, instead of being a hindrance.

Your budget is $350,000. What home do you buy?

LINK

It has a pool and an awesome screened porch. It needs new counters and the fireplace needs some TLC but the bones of the house are great.

Where do you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years?

1 year - living in Charlotte with new jobs for both H and I

5 years - still living in Charlotte, both of us with promotions (I could see me working for my friend for 3 years, then finding a job at another agency). H and I will have bought a (small) second home on a lake

10 years - I would like to be a CxO (CMO/COO) in 10 years, or a VP at the very least. Perhaps by then we'll have moved my MIL out to live near us in NC. We'll be making retirement plans (H would love to retire by 55, which is only 14 years away. I think we'll need to work 20, but we'll see). I'd love to sell our main house and live in our second house.

What do you consider your short term, mid-term, and long-term goals?

Short-term: Find H a job in Charlotte

Mid-term: Pay off my student loan. Buy a second home. Load up our 401ks so that retirement is a real possibility.

Long-term: Perhaps buy property that we can rent. We talk about going into business for ourselves, but haven't found that one idea that excites us enough to do it.

Knottie1470901779 · August 2016

labro said:

What does your dream engagement ring look like?

Have a look at my selection of 15 best promise rings for couples.
I’m replying mostly to show off my first website. I’ve also started a blog for it and these are my articles until now:

· History of Promise Rings

· How to Choose a Promise Ring

· Why Should You Buy a Promise Ring

· How to Wear a Promise Ring

Hopefully you or someone else will find this useful.

[Deleted User] · August 2016

Knottie1470901779 said:

labro said:

What does your dream engagement ring look like?

Have a look at my selection of 15 best promise rings for couples.
I’m replying mostly to show off my first website. I’ve also started a blog for it and these are my articles until now:

·         History of Promise Rings

·         How to Choose a Promise Ring

·         Why Should You Buy a Promise Ring

·         How to Wear a Promise Ring

Hopefully you or someone else will find this useful.

speakeasy14 · August 2016

Knottie1470901779 said:

labro said:

What does your dream engagement ring look like?

Have a look at my selection of 15 best promise rings for couples.
I’m replying mostly to show off my first website. I’ve also started a blog for it and these are my articles until now:

·         History of Promise Rings

·         How to Choose a Promise Ring

·         Why Should You Buy a Promise Ring

·         How to Wear a Promise Ring

Hopefully you or someone else will find this useful.

speakeasy14 · August 2016

TwoDimes said:

Does one really need instruction on how to wear a piece of jewelry? I didn't realize that was so difficult to figure out!

Apparently some people do....

Image result for how to wear a ring

labro · August 2016

@TwoDimes @speakeasy14 Now come now...there is VERY specific etiquette on which finger and hand you can wear your promise ring on. You don't want people thinking you're ACTUALLY engaged...just pretend BSC engaged. It's all in the placement!

PS

speakeasy14 · August 2016

@labro

GTKY - Come out and play!

Re: GTKY - Come out and play!

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