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SO FRUSTRATED!

Knottie1471031162Knottie1471031162 member
edited August 2016 in Snarky Brides
I don't tend to post in online forums often, but I am so frustrated with this person that I just had to vent. (Hi everyone!)

I love lurking on forums and learning things about weddings. I spend most of my time on the wedding planning subreddit because I had been a reddit member for years before I was engaged. I definitely don't agree with all the opinions on the subreddit, and I'm glad that I've also learned a lot about etiquette from The Knot (which I admit I was totally ignorant of!!). 

I'm happy to just upvote/like/heart the advice that follows etiquette, and, when I do, I'll start recognizing different usernames that I see a lot.

One user in particular, I was happy to see usually had great advice on etiquette, but suddenly she started taking things to the extreme.

For example, she has harshly scolded users saying the following things are now against etiquette:
-cake and punch ceremony at a non-meal time because the event would only last 3 to 4 hours which is apparently "not long enough to be a good host"
-Placing any (and yes, I mean ANY) restrictions on bridesmaid attire, including just asking them to wear a color!
-Saying 5 in the evening rather than 5 in the afternoon (which I understand 5 in the afternoon is the traditional way to write it, but how is it impolite??)
-Using the word Godwin in your wedding hashtag even if it is your future last name because of "Godwin's Law" (silly internet theory that the longer a conversation goes on, the more likely someone will be compared to Hitler)

This is the kicker though. SHE'S HAVING A STANDING CEREMONY. I can understand taking a hard line on etiquette but AT LEAST FOLLOW THE MOST BASIC RULES YOURSELF. When she was told it was rude, she said something like "it's no big deal for people to stand for 10 minutes." Seriously? Hopefully, none of her guests have disabilities they're uncomfortable sharing. :(

AND HOW IS IT NOT A BIG DEAL TO MAKE YOUR GUESTS UNCOMFORTABLE BUT IT'S A BIG DEAL TO SAY 5 IN THE EVENING??

I'm trying not to start drama, but I just vent to someone before I explode in weddit land. Also, if I'm wrong about any of this, please let me know!!! Still learning :)

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Re: SO FRUSTRATED!

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    MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Knottie1471031162 said:
    I don't tend to post in online forums often, but I am so frustrated with this person that I just had to vent. (Hi everyone!)

    I love lurking on forums and learning things about weddings. I spend most of my time on the wedding planning subreddit because I had been a reddit member for years before I was engaged. I definitely don't agree with all the opinions on the subreddit, and I'm glad that I've also learned a lot about etiquette from The Knot (which I admit I was totally ignorant of!!). 

    I'm happy to just upvote/like/heart the advice that follows etiquette, and, when I do, I'll start recognizing different usernames that I see a lot.

    One user in particular, I was happy to see usually had great advice on etiquette, but suddenly she started taking things to the extreme.

    For example, she has harshly scolded users saying the following things are now against etiquette:
    -cake and punch ceremony at a non-meal time because the event would only last 3 to 4 hours which is apparently "not long enough to be a good host"
    Hosting a cake and punch reception during a non meal time is absolutely acceptable.  I am unaware of any etiquette rule that states a reception must be a certain length of time for it to be acceptable.  I will say, however, that if many guests are traveling a long distance to attend, I would try to offer a bit more substantial food offering.
    -Placing any (and yes, I mean ANY) restrictions on bridesmaid attire, including just asking them to wear a color!
    Nope.  I do prefer the growing trend of the bride selecting a color and then allowing the wedding party to find a dress that suits their particular style and comfort level. 
    -Saying 5 in the evening rather than 5 in the afternoon (which I understand 5 in the afternoon is the traditional way to write it, but how is it impolite??)
    -Using the word Godwin in your wedding hashtag even if it is your future last name because of "Godwin's Law" (silly internet theory that the longer a conversation goes on, the more likely someone will be compared to Hitler)

    This is the kicker though. SHE'S HAVING A STANDING CEREMONY. I can understand taking a hard line on etiquette but AT LEAST FOLLOW THE MOST BASIC RULES YOURSELF. When she was told it was rude, she said something like "it's no big deal for people to stand for 10 minutes." Seriously? Hopefully, none of her guests have disabilities they're uncomfortable sharing. :(
    A chair for every "seat".
    AND HOW IS IT NOT A BIG DEAL TO MAKE YOUR GUESTS UNCOMFORTABLE BUT IT'S A BIG DEAL TO SAY 5 IN THE EVENING??

    I'm trying not to start drama, but I just vent to someone before I explode in weddit land. Also, if I'm wrong about any of this, please let me know!!! Still learning :)


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    InLoveInQueensInLoveInQueens member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I had to finally unsub from the wedding planning subreddits, it's a constant stream of hug-box posts that say "Why can't you stop making people feel bad about their fake re-do PPD weddings? Just because they're lying doesn't mean they didn't have a good reason, let them have their day!" or "Stop telling me I shouldn't have a 4 hour gap, you're the rude one!" that get upvoted and all the comments are "yeah, you're so right, people telling you you're not treating your guests well are rude!"

    It's just too much.
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    missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    InLoveInQueens said:
    I had to finally unsub from the wedding planning subreddits, it's a constant stream of hug-box posts that say "Why can't you stop making people feel bad about their fake re-do PPD weddings? Just because they're lying doesn't mean they didn't have a good reason, let them have their day!" or "Stop telling me I shouldn't have a 4 hour gap, you're the rude one!" that get upvoted and all the comments are "yeah, you're so right, people telling you you're not treating your guests well are rude!"

    It's just too much.
    Exactly this. I don't need people to tell me my idea is good (I already think it is), I want people who are going to point out the flaws in my plan that I overlooked. 
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    peachy13peachy13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited August 2016
    I just recently got banned in Weddit because at least once a day, someone asks what the best honeyfund site is or if they should do a cash registry. To each of these posts, I usually comment that the OP should not registera all, and that it's inappropriate to ask guests for money, that if there is no registry people just give cash, etc. etc. The moderator had to leave comments on my comments to let me know that etiquette is regional (UGH EYE ROLL) and then they finally banned me. 

    Not totally surprised, honestly. I liked that subreddit because it was fun and active at times, and sometimes there are some good juicy internet fights, but honestly the amount of special snowflakes on that sub who refuse to listen to anyone but themselves hurts a lot.

    ETA: words are hard
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


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    floridabride44floridabride44 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    peachy13 said:
    I just recently got banned in Weddit because at least once a day, someone asks what the best honeyfund site is or if they should do a cash registry. To each of these posts, I usually comment that the OP should not registera all, and that it's inappropriate to ask guests for money, that if there is no registry people just give cash, etc. etc. The moderator had to leave comments on my comments to let me know that etiquette is regional (UGH EYE ROLL) and then they finally banned me. 

    Not totally surprised, honestly. I liked that subreddit because it was fun and active at times, and sometimes there are some good juicy internet fights, but honestly the amount of special snowflakes on that sub who refuse to listen to anyone but themselves hurts a lot.

    ETA: words are hard
    Every time I see the weddit mods comment about this I want to rip my hair out.  TREATING PEOPLE WELL IS NOT REGIONAL. IT'S UNIVERSAL. 
    --

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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2016
    Having technical difficulties, please ignore lol

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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