Forgotten in the Program

Knottie1439487487 · September 2016

FI and I got our wedding programs back today and they are lovely! Some members of the bridal party reviewed and I sent them to my mom - everything was great. They came in the mail today and I sent a pic to FMIL out of excitement. She replied and asked if they were just two pages, to which I replied yes, they are front and back.

Her response, "You don't have the flower girls, ring bearers, reader or ushers on there. [Note, we aren't having ushers] Oh yeah, and parents."

We were trying to keep the programs simple and included a special note on the back for one of FI's close friends and groomsman who passed away unexpectedly in the spring. In all of that, we didn't include everyone - completely unintentional. My mom didn't even notice when she reviewed or mind at all but FMIL seemed hurt. The plan now is to create a special sign to display saying thank-you and mentioning those who were not included in the programs. That said, does anyone have any ideas of how we could work a sign thanking those who were not called out in the program?

ernursej · September 2016

I wouldn't do a sign. A program is just meant as a guide to the service. To smooth things out, I would add a small piece of paper with the individuals that were missed and clip it to the program.

Jen4948 · September 2016

Thank them directly with nice thank-you notes.

But since it bothers your FMIL, if you can have your programs reprinted to include the names of the kids, the readers, and the parents, I would do so if it's not too late. If it is, I agree with clipping a piece of paper that contains their names to your existing programs rather than doing a sign.

SP29 · September 2016

If you have listed the rest of your wedding party, I would list the flower girls, ring bearers and readers. Listing parents is not absolutely required, but often done.

I agree with attaching a little note to the program itself, versus a sign. I think a sign would look very odd, I would wonder why it was there in the first place.

P.S. I would reprint the programs, if it were me.

lyndausvi · September 2016

I would just reprint them. But that's me. I feel like the flower girls and ring bearer should be noted just like the other WP members.

While odd you didn't put the parents, it's not necessary I guess. But I can see why your MIL is miffed.

I think a sign would be odd, out of place and frankly an after thought.

ETA - or just forgo the programs all together since they are not necessary in the first place.

ei34 · September 2016

I'd always thought of programs as kind of a who's who among everyone walking down the aisle. I guess weddings that I attend the parents and FGs/RBs are among those who walk down the aisle, so I'm with your FMIL in feeling there were some omissions. Especially the FG and RB who are members of the wedding party. I agree with PP to include an insert with their names, or re-print them if it's in the budget.

STARMOON44 · October 2016

If you listed the rest of your wedding party I'd throw these out and redo them. All or none.

banana468 · October 2016

I think you does look like you should have included these people. Either reprint or toss.

photokitty · October 2016

Reprint or scrap em.

InLoveInQueens · October 2016

I agree with everyone else, reprint with your entire bridal party or don't gave programs. I've never been to a wedding with programs and didn't realize they were a thing until coming here, they're not really necessary and if you need them do them right.

MairePoppy · October 2016

I agree with your FMIL. Who did you list in your program? The FG and RB should have been included with the wedding party. Are your parents and his VIPs at your wedding? They should be mentioned. Your readers should be mentioned, also. It's too bad you didn't ask your FMIL to proofread before you sent them to the printer.

Either reprint the programs or toss them altogether. Don't post a sign with all the people you've forgotten. That only highlights that you left them out the first time around, which is insulting and embarrassing.

[Deleted User] · October 2016

If you don't want to reprint the programs (for budget reasons) but still want people to have the information, print a large poster board or write on a pretty mirror or window glass the program information (ie everything, not just the stuff that was missed) and display this near the entrance of the ceremony venue. You've included everyone, displayed the information, and didn't have to pay for another round of printing.

DrillSergeantCat · October 2016

Programs, IMO, are only useful if you're doing a really long ceremony. Even then, I'm only using it so I know how much longer I have to sit through.

MandyMost · October 2016

What do you have in the existing programs?

Personally, I like programs that explain the ceremony itself. You know, like a program. It would say who's speaking when, what they're reading or the purpose of the speaking, if there's any music that would be listed. Often this comes under a fancy header that lists the date, or the bride and groom's names. Something like this:

Welcome to the Wedding of Joe and Jane!
October 3, 2016
Springfield, Alaska

Processional
Welcome to the ceremony--John Smith
Singing of "Blah Blah Blah"--Judy Jones
The meaning of marriage--John Smith
Exchange of vows
Reading of "Blah Blah Blah"--Tom Brown
Reading of "Blah Blah Blah"--Mary Black
Pronouncement of marriage--John Smith
Recessional

Please proceed to the Smith Room for cocktails and appetizers immediately following the ceremony.

Sometimes programs list the parents or whole families of the couple, and the wedding party, but I find this unnecessary. If they are listed, i've usually seen it literally as a list of names:

Parents of the Bride
John Smith
Jane Brown

Parents of the Groom
Kate and Joe Johnson

Wedding Party
Mary Smith
Jane Smith
Tom ODonnel
Spencer Michaels

LtPowers · October 2016

eileenrob said:

I'd always thought of programs as kind of a who's who among everyone walking down the aisle.

This is the most common use of programs, but Miss Manners recommends against printing a roll call, as if the production were entertainment and the program a playbill.

Properly, programs should identify the order of service and the identities of those presenting each segment of the service (i.e., the officiant, readers, etc.).

Forgotten in the Program

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