Food for kids with a babysitter during wedding?

Re: Food for kids with a babysitter during wedding?

• banana468 member

  

  October 2016

  Jen4948 said:

  It's sticky. On the one hand, you have every right not to want children at your wedding. But on the other hand, your guests have every right to refuse to attend without their kids.
  
  You don't have to invite the kids. But as PPs note, many parents won't use babysitters they don't know.
  
  If any of your guests play the "If my kid isn't invited I won't attend" card, your best response is "I'm sorry to hear that. We'll miss you at the wedding."
  
  Otherwise, you have to invite the kid -- which may open you up to having to explain your decision to other parents who you've told couldn't bring their kids.
  
  So I think the best thing to do is just stand firm with your adults-only decision. That may mean that some guests won't accept your invitation -- but that's their decision to make, no matter how much you want them there. 
  
  I agree that it sucks big-time when people decline your invitation because their kids aren't invited. But there isn't any other good solution other than actually inviting everyone's kids.

  To add to this, as a parent, the invitation may just be declined due to childcare issues and it's not anything against the host.
  
  And it isn't that you aren't trying to do something nice by offering babysitting, but most parents want to interview the person that is caring for their child.    
  
  And if the kiddo can't be welcome and baby sitting isn't easily around (especially when you have young kids - it's not that easy to get someone for multiple overnights), the easiest most cost-effective solution can often be declining.    
  

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• Knottie10724897 member

  

  October 2016

  Thanks for all of your advice, everyone! 

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• MesmrEwe member

  

  October 2016

  If what you're wanting to do is a "Children's Reception" separate from your "Adult's Only" reception, in another room at the same venue(preferably room attached that parents can go in/out of but no access to hallways)... What you do is you send out a separate invite to the kids with the kids' names on the invite "as-if". Yes, you're responsible for all costs that go into this including snacks and meals, activities, movies, cake, etc.  Yes, plan that you're going to swing by periodically to do a fun activity yourselves with the kids (cake cutting, etc.) A lot of "will it work or not" depends a lot on who the babysitters are and your/FI's family dynamics.  If there's an older cousin you're paying to be a sitter that works at a daycare people are more likely to use it than not.  If your families are a "Central sorting at the end of the day" everyone's always together type family, it can work.  If the kids are younger (say diaper age 0-3.5) that's the hardest dynamic to work with because of the diapering aspect.  But most kids over that age can handle themselves just fine at a reception, you have to be real about why you do/don't want kids there.  If you don't want kids there, be o.k. with parents making the choice not to attend even if that takes your 200 person wedding down to 75. 

  The other thing is, even if you do provide this, be aware, you may have kids coming/going between the spaces.  Do not allow yourself to get worked up over this!  Also, this won't "save" you a penny and may cost more.  Ultimately you have to decide what you want - the PP have covered much of what needs to be covered. 

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• PrettyGirlLost member

  

  October 2016 edited October 2016

  ShesSoCold said:

  So, I agree with PP's points.

  But, so, you're thinking of hiring a babysitter to watch people who bring their uninvited kids. What about the polite people who understood that no kids were invited and either declined or found their own childcare? They're penalized for not being rude and bringing their kids anyway? If I paid for an overnight sitter or declined a wedding but then found out that child care services were offered anyway, I'd be confused and unhappy.

  I don't think this will work since very few people are just going to slap their kid down with a sitter no one knows and go off to a wedding for several hours. But if you really want to, let people know about it as an option. All the people.

  And yes, pay for food, the cost of the sitter, etc.

  I agree. . . so in the long run it would probably be about the same cost of cheaper, and way easier logistically, to just invite the kids, pay for the meals, and then their own parents can watch them at the reception.
  
  ETA: But if you truly want a child free wedding, then go forward with that, and accept that these cousins of yours may not be able to attend.
  

  
  "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
  
  

  
  

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