Etiquette

Change "No" RSVP?

Hi Everyone,

I was invited to a friend's destination wedding. Unfortunately, we had a trip already planned for just after the wedding date and could not afford to do both. We were also invited to a more local reception (still out of state for us, but could be a cheap flight or maybe a long drive). That reception was scheduled for during our trip. As we are planning and budgeting, we are realizing that we may not even be able to afford the trip that we have planned. I had already RSVP'd "no" to both the wedding and reception. But now it may be possible that we could attend the local reception. We're approximately 8 months out from their reception date. Do I just need to accept that I said no, and that is my answer. Or do I reach out to the bride (my friend) and explain the situation, and that we may be able to attend after all?

Thanks! 

Re: Change "No" RSVP?


  • They asked you to RSVP EIGHT MONTHS in advance?!
    Yes...  :| I think for the destination wedding part of it, it makes sense. It was online. They're probably sending out formal invites to those that said they could attend or likely attend. But for the local reception, I didn't want to say yes and then they're planning on us being there and then we can't. But now I regret saying no, when now it's turned into a maybe! 
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK
    2500 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Yeah, your friends are crazy if they think they can get accurate numbers 8 months out! 

    I have been to several destination weddings, I have never, ever heard of RSVPs 8 months ahead of time! 
    CMGragainlevioosa
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member

    They asked you to RSVP EIGHT MONTHS in advance?!
    Yes...  :| I think for the destination wedding part of it, it makes sense. It was online. They're probably sending out formal invites to those that said they could attend or likely attend. But for the local reception, I didn't want to say yes and then they're planning on us being there and then we can't. But now I regret saying no, when now it's turned into a maybe! 
    Ew.  


    image
  • Your friend should not have asked for an RSVP so early.

    Her guest count for the wedding (and local reception) should not be until a few weeks before each event, so I see no problem with telling her, "Hey, our plans have changed- we can make it!".

    The above is why one should not B list. Once an invitation is sent, the hosts of an event should be prepared to accept guests' RSVP for yes up until the RSVP date (which should be at a reasonable time period before the event, 2-3 weeks, not 8 months).
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