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Re: Facebook Snark

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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
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    morewineplease said:
    geebee908 said:
    flantastic said:
    ShesSoCold said:

    My ex boyfriend and his wife used to post on facebook with these sappy ass anniversary type posts. They had a PPD so I don't know if these posts were on what anniversary, but the length of time is exaggerated. Their "anniversary" is almost two years before they even met.

    Apparently it's so her son, who was a baby when they met, thinks my ex is his biological dad.

    Oh. That's not going to blow up in their face later or anything.
    This was exactly my thought also.
    When this stuff blows up it is so bad. Kids have a hard time getting over the lies more than the truth. 

    That was my thought, too.  This has future Dear Prudence letter written all over it.
    �
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    AtomicBlonde said:
    MissKittyDanger said:
    peachy13 said:
    This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.
    I changed on social media a little bit after, but some people know they're changing and are just getting use to it. I'm using social media as a place to see how well it goes before deciding.
    That's what I did, and I had a total meltdown and identity mini-crisis about it after like 3 months, and then effing Facebook WOULDN'T LET ME CHANGE IT BACK.  I had to prove to them that I was trying to change my name back to my legal name, and it still took like a week, and that only made things even worse.
    Fb is so dumb about things like that but when someone wants to put weird lettering or some weird 'nickname' there's no issue. Guh
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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    @crowsgirl15 my H's best friend's sister is one of those oversharers you love so much. Except it's not to her H, it's to her departed mother. She wrote a really long letter to her mom from her unborn baby on facebook. I unfriended her after that one. 
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    DrillSergeantCat said:
    @crowsgirl15 my H's best friend's sister is one of those oversharers you love so much. Except it's not to her H, it's to her departed mother. She wrote a really long letter to her mom from her unborn baby on facebook. I unfriended her after that one. 
    My first thought is why would you post that on fb or any public forum? If she wanted to do that, why post it?
    They're called "dead letters" when you write to a person about your feelings about how them not being around affects you, but they usually get destroyed.
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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    MissKittyDanger said:
    My first thought is why would you post that on fb or any public forum? If she wanted to do that, why post it?
    They're called "dead letters" when you write to a person about your feelings about how them not being around affects you, but they usually get destroyed.
    I'm thinking she did it for attention. She seems really needy. I only added her as a friend so I could add her to a babywearing group since she loved my Ergo carrier. I've literally only met her twice and she's invited me to her baby shower and her son's birthday party so I feel like she doesn't have many friends. I understand how hard it is losing a parent so I would never side-eye her for posting "I'm really missing mom today" or "I really wish mom were here for this," but it's always long statuses directly to her mom. 
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    JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
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    I side eye really planned out birth announcements, like the 3rd (or 4th) pair of shoes, chalkboards, dogs carrying signs, professional photography...sorry I just do.  

    I don't have a problem with the actual announcement...just the huge production part of it.
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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    JeeGooDowster said:
    I side eye really planned out birth announcements, like the 3rd (or 4th) pair of shoes, chalkboards, dogs carrying signs, professional photography...sorry I just do.  

    I don't have a problem with the actual announcement...just the huge production part of it.
    Lining up a few pairs of shoes isn't a huge production. 
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    JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
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    DrillSergeantCat said:
    JeeGooDowster said:
    I side eye really planned out birth announcements, like the 3rd (or 4th) pair of shoes, chalkboards, dogs carrying signs, professional photography...sorry I just do.  

    I don't have a problem with the actual announcement...just the huge production part of it.
    Lining up a few pairs of shoes isn't a huge production. 

    I'm just giving examples. I'm not pin-pointing one or the other if one is a bigger production or not. 
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    JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
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    JeeGooDowster said:
    DrillSergeantCat said:
    JeeGooDowster said:
    I side eye really planned out birth announcements, like the 3rd (or 4th) pair of shoes, chalkboards, dogs carrying signs, professional photography...sorry I just do.  

    I don't have a problem with the actual announcement...just the huge production part of it.
    Lining up a few pairs of shoes isn't a huge production. 

    I'm just giving examples. I'm not pin-pointing one or the other if one is a bigger production or not. 
    Would also like to add, that right now, it is more baby announcements than wedding announcements due to being in my mid 30's, but if i saw people going overboard with their wedding announcements, i would side-eye that as well.

    Again, nothing wrong with making announcements, just the whole production of it.
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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    JeeGooDowster said:
    Would also like to add, that right now, it is more baby announcements than wedding announcements due to being in my mid 30's, but if i saw people going overboard with their wedding announcements, i would side-eye that as well.

    Again, nothing wrong with making announcements, just the whole production of it.
    So you can say it, just no corresponding pictures. 
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    JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
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    DrillSergeantCat said:
    JeeGooDowster said:
    Would also like to add, that right now, it is more baby announcements than wedding announcements due to being in my mid 30's, but if i saw people going overboard with their wedding announcements, i would side-eye that as well.

    Again, nothing wrong with making announcements, just the whole production of it.
    So you can say it, just no corresponding pictures. 
    Actually, people can do whatever they want.  I just side-eye it.
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    crowsgirl15crowsgirl15 member
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    kimmiinthemitten said:
    crowsgirl15 said:
    InLoveInQueens said:
    peachy13 said:
    This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.
    Super tl;dr below, I promise I'm not getting defensive, just sharing my opinion on this and why I did what I did.
     
    I changed my name on Facebook after we left our wedding lunch, I also had my name changed on all my official docs ~2 days after (got married Friday morning, name changed at the SSA and DMV by Monday afternoon). I changed mine asap for multiple reasons, one of which was yes, my ~maiden~ name was long and ethnic and hard to pronounce/spell for multiple people and got me made fun of for years. There was no reason for me to wait and a bunch of reasons for me to do it right away.

    I used my middle name as my last name on Facebook for a while (changed it back to my actual last name for the ~6 months leading up to my wedding since those were my last months with that name), it was my name once I got the certificated, even if the SSA and DMV didn't know it yet.

    I also knew I was changing my name, had to state it on my marriage license so it was easy enough to change it when I changed my relationship status. I had my new work email set up by IT the Thursday before my wedding so my out of office reply could say it/I could start having people use my new name asap. Is that something that should wait as well, or just FB? 



    Re: Posting on Facebook, my first anniversary is coming up in a few days and you bet your ass I've been thinking about what I want to post for a while. I don't care what other people think about me posting a picture from my wedding and a comment about how happy I am to be celebrating my anniversary. It's a big deal to me and that's what Facebook is for. We don't share stuff like this ever, really, we're private people and don't share our lives on Facebook like some people do, my husband barely uses his Facebook (reactivated it recently and doesn't post ever) and I use mine mainly for groups and to post pictures of my cat and my hobby. This is the one time a year I feel like I can share something a bit mushier about my life without feeling like one of "those" people. I like seeing people post happy anniversary posts, milestones are nice to see. I definitely side-eye constant oversharing but personally occasions like anniversaries and birthdays seem like the perfect time to get a little more personal.

    We also got married on our dating anniversary and picked that date for that reason and that reason alone, so I'm a snark magnet and I will accept it all :smile:
    This made me rethink what I said a little. I don't actually think I have an issue with sharing milestones (I know I said I did, lol, I'm changing my mind ;) ). You're right, it's nice to see your friend share events in their lives, and anniversaries definitely fall into that category. I "like" those and comment on them, and even wish those close to me a happy anniversary, so apparently I don't actually sideye anniversaries.

    I think the things that make me cringe are much more the oversharing or the personal messages that don't seem to be for public consumption, and not really the milestones.

    So, not that you necessarily care, @InLoveInQueens, but you convinced my snarky, black heart to soften slightly and admit that I might have been overly snarky before.
    I think there's a difference between a sweet post about a milestone and the "this is everything I did one year before our wedding day."  The latter is also likely to be the "first baseball game married," "first grocery trip married," "first shit as a wife" people.
    YEP exactly. They also tend to be the ones who post a pic of hubby and a sappy, crazy post about how much they love him...basically once a month. I do get that it's their business what they do with their Facebook. I just find it all a little eye rolly.

    It also, almost always, is people I only know peripherally. And all I can think is "you may want your friends to know this...but is it really something you wanted to share with someone as tangentially related to you as me?" Which is why Facebook always seems like an odd forum to me. If your Fbook is truly only your nearest and dearest, awesome! But with these people I know it's not...cuz I'm not their nearest and dearest, lol


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    InLoveInQueensInLoveInQueens member
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    crowsgirl15 said:
    InLoveInQueens said:
    peachy13 said:
    This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.
    Super tl;dr below, I promise I'm not getting defensive, just sharing my opinion on this and why I did what I did.
     
    I changed my name on Facebook after we left our wedding lunch, I also had my name changed on all my official docs ~2 days after (got married Friday morning, name changed at the SSA and DMV by Monday afternoon). I changed mine asap for multiple reasons, one of which was yes, my ~maiden~ name was long and ethnic and hard to pronounce/spell for multiple people and got me made fun of for years. There was no reason for me to wait and a bunch of reasons for me to do it right away.

    I used my middle name as my last name on Facebook for a while (changed it back to my actual last name for the ~6 months leading up to my wedding since those were my last months with that name), it was my name once I got the certificated, even if the SSA and DMV didn't know it yet.

    I also knew I was changing my name, had to state it on my marriage license so it was easy enough to change it when I changed my relationship status. I had my new work email set up by IT the Thursday before my wedding so my out of office reply could say it/I could start having people use my new name asap. Is that something that should wait as well, or just FB? 



    Re: Posting on Facebook, my first anniversary is coming up in a few days and you bet your ass I've been thinking about what I want to post for a while. I don't care what other people think about me posting a picture from my wedding and a comment about how happy I am to be celebrating my anniversary. It's a big deal to me and that's what Facebook is for. We don't share stuff like this ever, really, we're private people and don't share our lives on Facebook like some people do, my husband barely uses his Facebook (reactivated it recently and doesn't post ever) and I use mine mainly for groups and to post pictures of my cat and my hobby. This is the one time a year I feel like I can share something a bit mushier about my life without feeling like one of "those" people. I like seeing people post happy anniversary posts, milestones are nice to see. I definitely side-eye constant oversharing but personally occasions like anniversaries and birthdays seem like the perfect time to get a little more personal.

    We also got married on our dating anniversary and picked that date for that reason and that reason alone, so I'm a snark magnet and I will accept it all :smile:
    This made me rethink what I said a little. I don't actually think I have an issue with sharing milestones (I know I said I did, lol, I'm changing my mind ;) ). You're right, it's nice to see your friend share events in their lives, and anniversaries definitely fall into that category. I "like" those and comment on them, and even wish those close to me a happy anniversary, so apparently I don't actually sideye anniversaries.

    I think the things that make me cringe are much more the oversharing or the personal messages that don't seem to be for public consumption, and not really the milestones.

    So, not that you necessarily care, @InLoveInQueens, but you convinced my snarky, black heart to soften slightly and admit that I might have been overly snarky before.
    Aww that makes me happy, I am glad that got this response and not more [probably deserved] snark :)

    I am totally the shade queen, so I get you.

    And I have to throw shade at myself a little, what with the baby announcement chat above, we're not even close to baby status but I've already been thinking about how I want to announce because I focus on that kind of stupid shit that doesn't matter.
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    OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
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    Ro041 said:
    I got snarked at on FB by a stranger for the following post (which was on my page and apparently they were FB stalking me): "Friends don't let friends have rustic weddings.  #StopTheMasonJars".  Whatevs.  I stand by that statement.  
    Preach, sister!
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    ernursejernursej member
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    I have a FB friend who posts TBT posts to her wedding that was in January 2016. Every week there is a new picture from their wedding. The first few were cute but now it feels needy.
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    missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
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    A girl on mine just did a throwback (on a saturday) to her wedding two weeks ago. No picture, just 'throwback to that time tagDH and I did x at our wedding' WHY?! It wasn't sweet, sentimental, or funny.
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    spatulahandsspatulahands member
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    kimmiinthemitten said:
    I think there's a difference between a sweet post about a milestone and the "this is everything I did one year before our wedding day."  The latter is also likely to be the "first baseball game married," "first grocery trip married," "first shit as a wife" people.
    Ugh I know someone who is totally shaping up to be someone who's going to do that. She got engaged about a month ago and literally every FB post since then has been TBTs (and I use the final "T" loosely, as it's more like TBM, TBTues, TBW, TBT, TBF, TBS, TBSun) to the (professionally photographed) proposal (which seemed to involve a ton of deceit, which I also kinda side eye), posts about "my future hubby," wedding planning (ZOMG I FOUND THE PERF REHEARSAL DINNER SPOT), and cutesy hashtags (Went to the gym today! #sweatingforthewedding)
    Anniversary>
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    driddrid member
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    This was posted on our local buy and sell today... gross
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    peachy13 said:
    This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.
    It probably depends on where you live, but just for general information....within British Columbia, the minute you get married, both your maiden name and your married names are considered your legal names. You are free to use either without any sort of legal paperwork. 

    Of course, you'll need to show proof of marriage if you want to actually change documents over to your married name (like your driver license) so there is paperwork involved that way. And most places get angry if your ID doesnt match. I don't have my marriage license in the mail yet, so I haven't been able to change my name on anything official yet, but my married name is still my legal name if I chose so. 

    Also, many people chose to use one last name professional and another last name socially and there's no issues with that. 
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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    I hate any FB post that includes the phrase "with my love". 
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    OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
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    STARMOON44 said:
    I hate any FB post that includes the phrase "with my love". 
    Uh-oh.  ;)
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    anidorikiladraanidorikiladra member
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    Ironring said:
    peachy13 said:
    This is maybe a weird unpopular opinion of mine, but I don't really get why brides change their last name on FB the same day as/day after their wedding. I get changing your status to "married," because yes, you're married now, but there's no way you legally changed your name that fast. I personally waited until I was completely and officially changed over to DH's last name and changing it on FB was the very last step. When brides change their name unrealistically quick, it always seems like they really hated their maiden name and couldn't stand spending another second with it.
    It probably depends on where you live, but just for general information....within British Columbia, the minute you get married, both your maiden name and your married names are considered your legal names. You are free to use either without any sort of legal paperwork. 

    Of course, you'll need to show proof of marriage if you want to actually change documents over to your married name (like your driver license) so there is paperwork involved that way. And most places get angry if your ID doesnt match. I don't have my marriage license in the mail yet, so I haven't been able to change my name on anything official yet, but my married name is still my legal name if I chose so. 

    Also, many people chose to use one last name professional and another last name socially and there's no issues with that. 
    Thank you, I was going to post that! Also from BC here :)
    I changed my fb in the week after the wedding, and was going by my married name at work before my ID had been changed (since I had to wait for the certificate)

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    flantasticflantastic member
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    Ironring said:


    Also, many people chose to use one last name professional and another last name socially and there's no issues with that. 
    I know one couple where the wife is a Ph.D of something (I think they also got married late, but I don't know them that well), and uses her maiden name professionally and possibly legally.

    However, the husband goes by her last name with her extended social and professional crowd and she goes by his last name with his crowd, and he says that then when he meets someone again and the memory of how he knows them is hazy, he at least gets a little context if they know him by his name or his wife's name.
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