I have a cousin who no longer speaks to most of the family, after a falling out with her mom, but keeps in touch with me. My aunt explained it away as a squabble, but I recently heard a very different story from my cousin herself, which presents a very good reason for their estrangement. My cousin has never been portrayed as honest by her family, but she has never lied to me (to my knowledge) and her mom has. My cousin's story makes more sense to me, but the rest of my family seems to believe my aunt.
My mom wants to invite my aunt and uncle, but not my cousin, to avoid drama, but that just doesn't seem right to me. My cousin has always been very supportive towards me. I'm a lesbian and my aunt was homophobic in the past, though she either changed or is faking it recently. My cousin and her husband have always stood up for me in that regard and I'd like to return the favor and stand up for my cousin. I don't mind my aunt and uncle coming, if they can be accepting, but my cousin really deserves to be included. I plan to invite her to the bachelorette at least, but I would like her to be able to come to the actual wedding.
My cousin has agreed to be polite, but will avoid conversations with her mom (which is generous considering her side of the story). The wedding should be big enough to allow this. To further complicate matters, my parents are paying, so I get less say in the guest list than I'd like, though I'll be fighting to get her invited.
How should I handle this situation? If I do manage to get her invited, how can I help avoid any drama on the wedding day?