Wedding Party

Adding a Bridesmaid 4 months later?

When selecting our wedding party, we originally didn't include my Fiance's sister or my brother. Our reasoning being that we felt the wedding party was getting too big (6 each).  His sister and I have gotten closer over the last few months and I am starting to regret not asking her. Now we are about 6 months away from the wedding, and as a wedding party, we haven't bought dresses or done anything as a group yet.  My question is, is it too late to add her and have my Fiance add another Groomsman (my younger brother)? We sent save the dates to 110 guests so I worry that the Bridal Party could be too big for the amount of guests (14 bridesmaids/groomsmen). 

Has anyone ever added a bridesmaid after you asked your bridal party? Is 7 Bridesmaids/groomsmen too much for a "smaller" wedding?

Re: Adding a Bridesmaid 4 months later?

  • When selecting our wedding party, we originally didn't include my Fiance's sister or my brother. Our reasoning being that we felt the wedding party was getting too big (6 each).  His sister and I have gotten closer over the last few months and I am starting to regret not asking her. Now we are about 6 months away from the wedding, and as a wedding party, we haven't bought dresses or done anything as a group yet.  My question is, is it too late to add her and have my Fiance add another Groomsman (my younger brother)? We sent save the dates to 110 guests so I worry that the Bridal Party could be too big for the amount of guests (14 bridesmaids/groomsmen). 

    Has anyone ever added a bridesmaid after you asked your bridal party? Is 7 Bridesmaids/groomsmen too much for a "smaller" wedding?
    The danger here is that your FSIL is going to feel like an afterthought (wasn't good enough when everyone else was asked) and so might possibly be offended by the request. I'd ask her and possibly your brother if you want them to do a reading during the ceremony as a way to honor your relationship with them now.
    PrettyGirlLostcowgirl8238
  • I wouldn't ask her. At this point, she knows you already have your wedding party picked out and it'd feel like a b-list invite in a way.

    Personally, I am slated to be in my SIL's wedding this year, mainly because I'm her SIL, not because she's my BFF. I tried 6 ways to Sunday to get out of it. I like her just fine, but I'd MUCH rather attend as a guest, wear whatever dress I wanted, and have no days-long obligations with a group of women I don't really know or care about. Just another perspective.
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    MesmrEwePrettyGirlLosternursejcowgirl8238
  • I have a slightly different opinion.  I think if there is a major change in a relationship (meet someone new and become friends, start hanging out with someone you hadn't previously) that then you could add that person to the wedding party without the appearance of B-listing them.  "Friend, we have gotten so much closer over the past few months that I can't imagine my wedding day without you there by my side.  Will you stand up with me as a bridesmaid?"

    BUT, in your case I wouldn't do it unless this person has become one of your top couple of closest friends.  12 is already a pretty huge bridal party.  And I definitely wouldn't suggest that your FI add your brother to his side.  That does reek of B-listing and prioritizing visual symmetry over relationships, since he would obviously figure out that he was just being added to even the numbers and not because of a new, meaningful relationship with his future brother in law.
    short+sassycowgirl8238thefanciestbecklerlc07
  • I wouldn't ask her. At this point, she knows you already have your wedding party picked out and it'd feel like a b-list invite in a way.

    Personally, I am slated to be in my SIL's wedding this year, mainly because I'm her SIL, not because she's my BFF. I tried 6 ways to Sunday to get out of it. I like her just fine, but I'd MUCH rather attend as a guest, wear whatever dress I wanted, and have no days-long obligations with a group of women I don't really know or care about. Just another perspective.
    I've got all my fingers and toes crossed that my brother's fiancee doesn't ask me to be in her bridal party. If she does ask I'll be happy and accept but I just wanna be a guest when it comes down to it.
    eileenrob
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
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    If she has suddenly become one of your BFFs, then ask her. But if you've just "gotten closer," then no. And your fiancé should only ask your brother if the same applies, regardless of whether or not you ask her. Sides do not have to be even.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    short+sassysouthernbelle0915PrettyGirlLostcowgirl8238
  • I think if you truly have gotten closer and developed a friendship outside of the family, you could tell her, "SIL, we have gotten so close in the past few months that you are truly one of my best friends- would you stand up as a bridesmaid for me?". I wouldn't find that offensive. But if you're just feeling guilty because you think you should, I wouldn't.

    Just because you ask her to be in your WP, I would not have your FI ask your brother to stand up in his. You ask people because you want to honour relationships, not to have even sides. Asking your brother makes he seem like a prop.

    Another option is to ask one or both of them to do a reading at the ceremony.
    short+sassydowntondivapeachy13charlotte989875
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    If you have truly formed a closer relationship with your FSIL and don't think she'd view this as a pity invite, I would say go ahead an ask her. If I were your FSIL I wouldn't take offense to this unless you were trying to replace a current bridesmaid, which you're not. 

    I was on the fence about asking my FSILs because I didn't want a huge wedding party. I did ask them in the end, and my bridal party was huge (9 bridesmaids!) but I was so happy with the ladies I asked and am very happy with my choice to ask my FSILs. I think it could have been something I regretted if I didn't. 
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  • If you are truly the best of friends I don't see much harm in asking now, unless you think she will feel B-Listed. I wouldn't have your FI ask the brother though, unless the same applies as above.

    I think that asking them to do a reading and/or mentioning them in a program (if you have one) may be a great compromise to the situation.  This way you can honor them without risking the "what if they think we are asking them our of pity/as an afterthought/ to make the sides even". 

  • Agree with pp's. I'd like to add that your wedding party can be as large as you want it. Went to a wedding that was about 150 people and each side had 10 attendants. You can have as many people stand next to you as you want.

    I second @cowgirl8238 's notion. You can honor a person that way without making them feel like it was an afterthought. One of my best friends and I reconnected long after I had asked my BP, so I took her with me to a dress fitting, and I asked her to do a reading. I would have much rather had her standing up with me, but I didn't want her to feel like she's just now good enough.
    Knottie1465318800
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