Rehearsal Dinner at a Rental House

katielizabeth34 · January 2017

Hey There!

Has anyone had a rehearsal dinner at a house they've rented and how did that work out? My fiancé and I want a super low key rehearsal and have no where to have it. We have found some options on home away and think a cookout type dinner would be really fun, just not sure what kind of luck anyone else has had with this. I don't want to be shady and not ask the owners first, but I am also worried that no one will allow it! I figure if there is nothing in the contract about the # of guests I would think it shouldn't be an issue. Since we want to rent a house for pics/the bridal party it makes sense to just have it there. We are all 30's+ so no one will be trashing the house, would be around 50 people. Just looking for advice if anyone else has done this. Thank you in advance!

ernursej · January 2017

I would imagine that most rental agreements would have a caveat about number of people, but I would ask if there is not something specifically in writing about the number of people allowed/ability to have parties. The owners could call the police if they drive by and see a ton of cars (even if nothing off was happening).

This sounds like you would have to deal with lots of rentals (chairs/tables/BBQ/food/dishes etc) and it may be easier to do something low key at a pizza place or BBQ place.

50 people is also quite a few for a rehearsal dinner. The only people you need to include would be those that were part of a rehearsal and their SOs.

sparklepants41 · January 2017

ernursej said:

I would imagine that most rental agreements would have a caveat about number of people, but I would ask if there is not something specifically in writing about the number of people allowed/ability to have parties. The owners could call the police if they drive by and see a ton of cars (even if nothing off was happening).
This sounds like you would have to deal with lots of rentals (chairs/tables/BBQ/food/dishes etc) and it may be easier to do something low key at a pizza place or BBQ place.
50 people is also quite a few for a rehearsal dinner. The only people you need to include would be those that were part of a rehearsal and their SOs.

All of the above plus, depending on the number of bathrooms the rental house has, you'd also most likely need to rent porta-potties.

SaintPaulGal · January 2017

I was with you until you said 50 people!

If it was just a dozen or so made up of the people who were involved in the rehearsal and their SOs, then I think it would be just fine. The rehearsal dinner doesn't have to be a fancy Wedding Part I. The last wedding I was in we had deli sandwiches and pop in the church hall after we did our run through. I think a cookout could be quite nice.

But self-catering a huge party for 50 people AND in a space not intended for such a thing AND which belongs to someone else. Nooooope! Have it at a restaurant/event space or significantly trim the list. Or both.

ILoveBeachMusic · January 2017

sparklepants41 said:

ernursej said:

I would imagine that most rental agreements would have a caveat about number of people, but I would ask if there is not something specifically in writing about the number of people allowed/ability to have parties. The owners could call the police if they drive by and see a ton of cars (even if nothing off was happening).
This sounds like you would have to deal with lots of rentals (chairs/tables/BBQ/food/dishes etc) and it may be easier to do something low key at a pizza place or BBQ place.
50 people is also quite a few for a rehearsal dinner. The only people you need to include would be those that were part of a rehearsal and their SOs.

All of the above plus, depending on the number of bathrooms the rental house has, you'd also most likely need to rent porta-potties.

I don't know about renting porta-potties. I've had fifty people in my house for a party and it wasn't an issue.

sparklepants41 · January 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

sparklepants41 said:

ernursej said:

I would imagine that most rental agreements would have a caveat about number of people, but I would ask if there is not something specifically in writing about the number of people allowed/ability to have parties. The owners could call the police if they drive by and see a ton of cars (even if nothing off was happening).
This sounds like you would have to deal with lots of rentals (chairs/tables/BBQ/food/dishes etc) and it may be easier to do something low key at a pizza place or BBQ place.
50 people is also quite a few for a rehearsal dinner. The only people you need to include would be those that were part of a rehearsal and their SOs.

All of the above plus, depending on the number of bathrooms the rental house has, you'd also most likely need to rent porta-potties.

I don't know about renting porta-potties. I've had fifty people in my house for a party and it wasn't an issue.

If the rental house only has 1 or 2 bathrooms there might be lines...but maybe you're right. I've not yet had that many people in my house at once...

southernbelle0915 · January 2017

katielizabeth34 said:

Hey There!

Has anyone had a rehearsal dinner at a house they've rented and how did that work out? My fiancé and I want a super low key rehearsal and have no where to have it. We have found some options on home away and think a cookout type dinner would be really fun, just not sure what kind of luck anyone else has had with this. I don't want to be shady and not ask the owners first, but I am also worried that no one will allow it! I figure if there is nothing in the contract about the # of guests I would think it shouldn't be an issue. Since we want to rent a house for pics/the bridal party it makes sense to just have it there. We are all 30's+ so no one will be trashing the house, would be around 50 people. Just looking for advice if anyone else has done this. Thank you in advance!

You need to clear this with the owners first. End of story.

Imagine if someone rented your house under the guise of two people staying there for a romantic evening and they hosted a party with FIFTY PEOPLE?!? Come on...don't be the person who ruins it for everyone.

lyndausvi · January 2017

We did!! Over 100 at that.

First, we had to get the owner's approval, which included an extra fee and deposit.

Our rental house had 8 bathrooms, so we were good with that. It was an open house so all 100+ were not there at the same time.

We had a local deli cater the event. My BIL was there when the delivered everything in sheet pans with chafer dishes. They did not stay to serve, just dropped off. It was pretty casual with paper plates, plastic silverware and cups. Easy clean up for us.

All the alcohol was purchased by us. We had a self-serve bar setup. Although my dad is ever the host and was there making most of the drinks for the guests.

A few days earlier we had 40+ people over for a dinner than my DH prepared. (eta- he is a chef and know how to cook for many people)

Don't think 30 people over 30 can't trash a place. My now-BIL was sober and walked through the screen door before the actual party started. Luckily my dad is handy and was able to fix the door the next day. Accidents happen even with a few people. Don't let your guard down.

STARMOON44 · January 2017

Why not a park pavilion?

SP29 · January 2017

So we didn't rent a house, but we had our rehearsal dinner at my grandparents' apartment. 18 guests, 2 bathrooms (one main used for guests).

The biggest concern is obviously will the renter allow 50 guests. Beyond that, who is going to prepare, cook and serve the food? You and your FI will be at your rehearsal, so when will you set up and cook everything? You also have to think about kitchen utensils, cookware and serveware. What if you need a roasting pan or baking dish? Are you going to bring all of your own stuff? Do you expect to use the items in the rental house?

In our case, my grandparents and my parents prepared/cooked the food. Food was dropped off at my grandparents prior to the rehearsal by my parents. My grandparents did the main prep of the hot food while we were at the rehearsal.

If you can have this party at a rental house, your best bet is likely to get it catered, as lyndausvi did.

katielizabeth34 · January 2017

Thanks everyone for your input! We are definitely not cooking the food, we were planning to get some local catering (chowder/clamcakes etc - I'm from New England). The house is large with a covered porch right on the water so space wise do not think it's an issue and I wanted it to be more low key anyway. I guess it is just an issue of asking the owner and hoping they agree or trying to find somewhere. We are looking for a more low key feel which is why we aren't doing it at a restaurant.

flantastic · January 2017

katielizabeth34 said:

Thanks everyone for your input! We are definitely not cooking the food, we were planning to get some local catering (chowder/clamcakes etc - I'm from New England). The house is large with a covered porch right on the water so space wise do not think it's an issue and I wanted it to be more low key anyway. I guess it is just an issue of asking the owner and hoping they agree or trying to find somewhere. We are looking for a more low key feel which is why we aren't doing it at a restaurant.

50 people having a catered dinner at a house doesn't scream low-key to me any more than 50 people at a pizzeria. What are you envisioning "low-key" to be?

charlotte989875 · January 2017

katielizabeth34 said:

Thanks everyone for your input! We are definitely not cooking the food, we were planning to get some local catering (chowder/clamcakes etc - I'm from New England). The house is large with a covered porch right on the water so space wise do not think it's an issue and I wanted it to be more low key anyway. I guess it is just an issue of asking the owner and hoping they agree or trying to find somewhere. We are looking for a more low key feel which is why we aren't doing it at a restaurant.

I would still clear this with the owners. They may not care, but they may request an extra cleaning fee/deposit with that many people in and out. What's your hesitation with just running it by them?

I use Airbnb pretty frequently (never for something of this size), but any time there is a question about the house rules we always check with them; sometimes what we want is okay, sometimes it's not, but I think if you're wary about letting them know, err on the side of being upfront.

cupcait927 · January 2017

flantastic said:

katielizabeth34 said:

Thanks everyone for your input! We are definitely not cooking the food, we were planning to get some local catering (chowder/clamcakes etc - I'm from New England). The house is large with a covered porch right on the water so space wise do not think it's an issue and I wanted it to be more low key anyway. I guess it is just an issue of asking the owner and hoping they agree or trying to find somewhere. We are looking for a more low key feel which is why we aren't doing it at a restaurant.

50 people having a catered dinner at a house doesn't scream low-key to me any more than 50 people at a pizzeria. What are you envisioning "low-key" to be?

H's family used to rent a lake house (more like a cottage - one bathroom, couple of bedrooms, so not very big) every year for Labor Day. There was always one evening where it a big family party with probably close to 50 people. There was a huge yard to play lawn games, a beach area, you could go swimming - that was a lot more "low-key" to me than having 50 people in a restaurant where you're stuck at a table or the very most, a room, for a couple of hours where it could be noisy or cramped, and then it's time to leave.

ETA - OP, definitely run it by the owners of the property. It could be a non-issue and they've had other renters do this before or they could have very real reservations about property destruction, noise limits, etc. No reason not to ask first.

katielizabeth34 · January 2017

Thanks everyone! Seems like this is new territory for the most part. I will start emailing some owners and hopefully it will work out!

To me it is low key vs being at a restaurant in a room. I'm not interested in that. The house we are looking at is waterfront and quite gorgeous with a covered deck over looking the ocean. It will be more of a "party" than a sit down dinner somewhere. Wee are getting seafood catering and given the atmosphere should be a nice night. Not the same as going to a pizzeria

lyndausvi · January 2017

Our 100+ RD/welcome party was low key. It was an open house. People came and went on their own. People were in one of the 2 living rooms, dining room and all over the decks. Much different feel than a restaurant would be.

LondonLisa · January 2017

I think it will be nice and really pretty, but you need to think this through some more. In addition to getting insurance and clearing this with the owners, you need to really plan it out. I love low-key events, but this is going to require a lot of not low-key logistics and organisation. 50 isn't massive, but it is on the low end of what I would consider a large party that requires more foresight than a simple dinner party. With 50 people you are going to need to hire some staff-People to clear, people to do the washing up, etc. That is not including the caterers. Are you doing this as a catered buffet? Do you have separate prep space in the kitchen without guests hanging around for caterers? Who is cleaning and doing the washing up? Where will 50 people park? Does the town have noise level laws? Many towns require permits for parties in houses. Are you close to any neighbours that you would need to inform? Is there enough cutlery, plates and glasses for 50? Enough seats for 50? It may not be a 'sit down dinner' but everyone needs a seat and table for dinner (for 50 at the same time, you don't want to make this shift pattern eating). Who is managing the bar? Who is doing the wine and beer run? Are you going to have to rent some tables and chairs? Is there enough space on the veranda for 6-8 tables comfortably? There should be at least 3 WCs for 50 people for dinner.

Events at 'home' always seem easier on paper, but it's really not. Its not impossible but you just need to think through some logistics. Do you really want to manage these logistics right before your wedding?

You're by the ocean, so I would also check out any waterfront restaurants that may have a similar feel, but you could literally just show up, enjoy and leave without having to worry about staffing, table cloths, cleaning, breaking down tables, getting rented cutlery/plates/glasses all washed up and packed to be returned, managing pick ups of rented material etc etc. There may be some that have private decks and can do casual, low key buffet style dinner and drinks that may be much more affordable and easy.

Heffalump · January 2017

I've rented through Airbnb, and every listing I've ever seen has had restrictions on gatherings--either requiring permission and an addendum to the agreement, or outright banning them. Definitely check first. If it's in a residential area, they may be reluctant just due to parking issues for 50 (!) people, let alone anything else.

cowgirl8238 · January 2017

LondonLisa said:

I think it will be nice and really pretty, but you need to think this through some more. In addition to getting insurance and clearing this with the owners, you need to really plan it out. I love low-key events, but this is going to require a lot of not low-key logistics and organisation. 50 isn't massive, but it is on the low end of what I would consider a large party that requires more foresight than a simple dinner party. With 50 people you are going to need to hire some staff-People to clear, people to do the washing up, etc. That is not including the caterers. Are you doing this as a catered buffet? Do you have separate prep space in the kitchen without guests hanging around for caterers? Who is cleaning and doing the washing up? Where will 50 people park? Does the town have noise level laws? Many towns require permits for parties in houses. Are you close to any neighbours that you would need to inform? Is there enough cutlery, plates and glasses for 50? Enough seats for 50? It may not be a 'sit down dinner' but everyone needs a seat and table for dinner (for 50 at the same time, you don't want to make this shift pattern eating). Who is managing the bar? Who is doing the wine and beer run? Are you going to have to rent some tables and chairs? Is there enough space on the veranda for 6-8 tables comfortably? There should be at least 3 WCs for 50 people for dinner.

Events at 'home' always seem easier on paper, but it's really not. Its not impossible but you just need to think through some logistics. Do you really want to manage these logistics right before your wedding?

You're by the ocean, so I would also check out any waterfront restaurants that may have a similar feel, but you could literally just show up, enjoy and leave without having to worry about staffing, table cloths, cleaning, breaking down tables, getting rented cutlery/plates/glasses all washed up and packed to be returned, managing pick ups of rented material etc etc. There may be some that have private decks and can do casual, low key buffet style dinner and drinks that may be much more affordable and easy.

I really like the sound of your plans, but everything LondaLisa pointed out is great information. In reading through I was all focused on the legalities and the whole ask/don't ask side of things, and then I read this post. Then I thought to myself...jeez that is a lot of work!!! I think finding a smaller place that you could rent out, (or renting a larger space within a restaurant) will be the best approach here. My MIL hosted a 30th B-Day party a few summers back. Even with everyone helping (8 people!) the set up took hours between the tent, the lighting, the tables, chairs, tablecloths and centerpieces (1 item). Then there was all the coordination with the food. Even though it was all delivered, 3-foot sandwiches needed unwrapped and cut, lasagna trays needed heating, etc...It was a lot of work for something that appeared very casual, and we had about 35 people attending!

southernbelle0915 · January 2017

I hope you find some owners that are cool with this because it does sound really nice.

It can be tedious logistically and expensive to host something like this. Think the whole thing through before you decide to take it on. Good luck!

levioosa · January 2017

If the owners are cool with this, and if you can find a caterer who will take care of everything for you, I say go for it. But if you are trying to host, decorate, and feed, and clean up after everyone yourselves...girl, just go to a restaurant.

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