Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a second or third language?

Re: Intercultural marriage. beside English, do your children speak a second or third language?

• STARMOON44 member

  

  February 2017

  I'd pick Mandarin. It's the most useful second language of the bunch, and you'll have the easiest time finding classes in it to supplement learning at home. 

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  February 2017

  I'm not bilingual, neither is my H, but many of my friends are. They have said teaching a child works best when the languages are reinforced at home or in school. So if your child is at an English speaking school then using another language at home (or vice versa) or when parents make a dedicated effort to teach the language at home consistently if they are use it regularly in the home. 
  
  How did you learn earn multiple languages? Maybe this will help you decide how to approach it with your child. 

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• ei34 member

  

  February 2017

  DH and I are raising our kids to be bilingual- he grew up speaking Spanish at home and I grew up speaking English (and bit of Italian).  We rotate English and Spanish every other day.  My son has hearing issues that cause language delays anyway, but our daughters are right where they should be as far as language acquisition.  
  
  If if I was in your shoes I'd go with English and Mandarin- ditto Star it's a very useful second language.  If your H wants a future child to learn his native language, maybe it could endearments on the side?  That's what I do with Italian- when I'm feeling sentimental cuddling or feeding the kids, or cooking, I use it...but I think Spanish makes more sense to be fluent in.
  
  That's amazing that you speak so many languages!  Your written English is a lot better than my written Spanish is- bravo!

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• TrixieJess member

  

  February 2017

  My kid will be doing French Immersion in school. He will also have the option of taking Spanish, Italian, and German in Secondary School. I speak French and his father German. Canada is bilingual and jobs pay better if you can use both languages.

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• short+sassy member

  

  February 2017

  Of those language choices, Mandarin is probably going to be the most useful, unless you all live in an area with a large Vietnamese population.

  Here is a fascinating fact about human development.  Our brains are PRIMED to learn languages, until about the age of 5-6.  During this time, children will naturally pick up whatever languages are spoken around them.  They will not be confused at all, even with 2-3-4 (probably more) languages spoken around them.  Unfortunately, around ages 5-6, that area of our brain basically turns off.  And, while adults can certainly become fluent in a language, it is a different learning process that is more akin to memorization.

  If I were you all, I'd do something like speak English when the three of you are together.  Speak Mandarin when you are alone with baby and your H speak his Sierra Leoean language when he is alone with baby and/or some daily conversation.  Once the child is old enough to be in school or pre-school, where I'm assuming they will be spoken to all day in English, then switch it up to mostly Mandarin at home with dad still speaking Sierra Leoean.

  It is a HUGE advantage in our world and global economy to know multiple languages.  As China opens more and more with trade, speaking Mandarin will be an especially valuable trait.  And it is 1,000 times easier to learn languages as a small child than later in life.   You and your H have an amazing opportunity to give that gift to your child(ren).

  

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• KnotYetTied member

  

  February 2017

  Research suggests that learning new/multiple languages at an early age creates new pathways in the brain that make it easier to learn new languages later on. So, I would agree with PPs and teach your child(ren) Mandarin. You could speak Mandarin only to them, and the father could speak English only. Once they're in school, they'll be speaking English there with teachers and friends, so the father could begin speaking his native language with them. Trilingual would be great, but it would be best done gradually. Keep in mind, that in higher grades in school, they will be required to learn another foreign language, and most school districts are limited, offering only French or Spanish. Your children would then be beyond trilingual!  

  My uncle married a woman from Lithuania who was a translator and spoke 5 languages. Their two children speak both English and Lithuanian. They only speak Lithuanian to their mother, and English to their father. When they're a bit older, their mother might introduce another one of the languages she speaks, or she might just allow them to learn a foreign language at school. Two years of foreign language are required in high school anyway. Spanish is a useful language, so it would be great if they go with that. My SIL is a secondary Spanish teacher, and she plans on teaching her daughter Spanish by only talking to her in Spanish and my brother only talking to her in English. We'll see how that goes, because while the baby is only two months old, my SIL has not yet started. While my aunt from Lithuania even spoke her "baby talk" in her native language.

  Your children will have a great advantage with the diverse background of you two as their parents!

  

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• KnotYetTied member

  

  February 2017 edited February 2017

  Edit - Double post through site glitch.

  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  February 2017 edited February 2017

  We have a set of friends from different cultures.   He is first generation American.  His parents immigrated from Ecuador.  He speaks English, Spanish and now German.  His wife is from Austria, but her mom is from France.  She speaks German, French and English.  
  
  They met in the USVI and English is their common language.  They now have a son and have since moved back to Austria (hence why he knows German now).
  
  The son is only 4.  He speaks French with his French grandma, who lives near them in Austria and watches him often .  Spanish with dad  (if wife is not around) and paternal grandparents (they live in the states but communicate via Skype and visit often). German at school and mostly English at home if the family  is all together.  If maternal grandma is around they mostly speak English or German since the husband doesn't know French.
  
  He does just fine and easily switches between the languages depending on who he is around.    
  
  I would say Mandarin would be the best option.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• Casadena member

  

  February 2017

  Want to reiterate that it definitely is not overload to speak to your small child in multiple languages and agree that the one parent, one language approach is generally best.  
  
  Also, keep in mind that the more languages a person learns, the easier it is to learn another!!  So important in this day and age. 

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  February 2017

  I speak French to my nieces and nephews.  They also now attend French Immersion, but I've been doing that since they were born.  They'll learn English here easily, since they speak that at home and it's the predominant language.  
  
  My nephew gets English from us/his Dad, Spanish from Grandma and Polish from his Mom.  He understands us all and uses the different languages interchangeably depending on what he wants and who is he with.  He's 3.
  
  Please speak different languages to your child.  Doesn't matter which one, though PPs are right in that Mandarin will be the most useful out of all of them.  It's so much easier to learn as a child growing up rather than in school when you're older 

  
  

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• SP29 member

  

  February 2017

  I agree that I would try to speak all 3 languages with your future children.
  
  Children pick up languages easily; all babies are born able to recognize the phonemes from every language, but this is slowly lost over time if they are not subjected to that language (by the age of 7). So your children could become fluent in any language if learned before the age of 7, where as as an adult it is much more difficult.
  
  Both of DH's parents are immigrants. His mom is Greek and and his dad is Hungarian. They did not speak each others languages and spoke only English at home. While DH and SIL understand some spoken words of the language (such as if FIL is talking on the phone to his relatives in Hungary, they can pick up the gist of the conversation), neither of them is fluent in either language because their parents never spoke either to them. Unfortunate I think!
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  February 2017

  I agree with a focus on Mandarin for utility later in life. I just see that being more universally useful.
  
  But no problem with teaching the basics in the other two - after all, you'll want the kids to be able to have basic conversation with their relatives. 

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• vikinganna87 member

  

  February 2017

  I agree with PPs who suggest speaking either Mandarin or Vietnamese AND your husband's Sierra Leonean language with your child. I grew up mostly in the US speaking Swedish at home. My parents figured we would get plenty of English outside the house so we always spoke Swedish with each other. H is American and fine with me speaking Swedish with our future children.
  
  I think the most important thing is discipline. It's easy let your child respond in English or switch to English entirely, but if you stick with always speaking and expecting responses in Mandarin or Vietnamese it'll be easy and natural for your child. 

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• OurWildKingdom member

  

  February 2017

  I wish I had grown up surrounded by additional languages. My mother grew up speaking German, but when she and my uncle came to America, my grandmother wanted them both to learn English, so they were forbidden to speak German at home. I'm not sure whether it ever occurred to my mother to teach us German. 
  
  I was briefly a nanny for an Indian family who spoke Telugu (a South Indian language), English, and some Hindi at home. The girls had no trouble with English.

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2017 edited February 2017

  When I was a kid I learned a little Spanish and French along with Hebrew, but after a few years the lessons stopped In Hebrew. I took some Hebrew lessons again in college. I can pray in Hebrew and recognize the difference between it and Aramaic, but I can't go to Israel and have a conversation, unfortunately.
  
  Also, from 4th to 10th grade I studied Spanish in school, but by 10th grade I really didn't enjoy it anymore thanks to some bad textbooks and a class scheduled for right after lunch when I couldn't concentrate on it well. So I understand some Spanish but not well enough to have a conversation with a native speaker. This was an issue today at my job because I had to use a translation program on a list of items that we need some clients who are native speakers to provide us, and my boss (who is a native speaker) needs the list to be edited. Tomorrow I'll have to figure out how to edit the list.
  
  I agree with teaching them Mandarin, Vietnamese and Sierra Leonean (for your husband) if it's important that your children understand and speak these languages. 

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