What do you consider a "longtime boyfriend?"

lovesclimbing · March 2017

Because according to People, a "longtime" is 11 months. The Bachelor/ette are my guilty pleasures, and I just saw that a former contestant, AshLee Frazier, got married to her boyfriend of 11 months.

Now, I have no problem with people getting married after 11 months or 6 months or 2 months or whatever of dating, but I certainly wouldn't consider 11 months to be "longtime." I would think it'd have to be at least two years or longer before I'd consider it "longtime."

http://people.com/celebrity/bachelor-alum-ashlee-frazier-is-married-stunning-ceremony-pictures/

climbingsingle · March 2017

That is not a longtime boyfriend. Not even a year?! Come on! I would consider anything over maybe 2 years.

Also, I don't remember what season she's from.

greeninspring · March 2017

Yep at least 2 years for "longtime"

MissKittyDanger · March 2017

Depends if you're living together. Where I live, if you live together for at least a year, you're considered common-law. So I guess that.

kwiksilver · March 2017

I definitely wouldn't call less than a year "longtime". 2-3 years would seem more appropriate to the reference

sparklepants41 · March 2017

I would definitely not consider 11 months longtime - my average relationship in HS lasted 11 months. Can a relationship be serious in 11 months or less? Of course! Can people fall in love and get married in less than 11 months? Of course! But to me, anything less than 2 years is not a "long time" to me.

charlotte989875 · March 2017

Time and seriousness are two different things, IMO. 11 months is not a long time, but could be serious. You could also be in a relationship for a "long time" and it not be serious.

banana468 · March 2017

charlotte989875 said:

Time and seriousness are two different things, IMO. 11 months is not a long time, but could be serious. You could also be in a relationship for a "long time" and it not be serious.

This. I fear this thread getting pulled up by someone who wants to use it as a justification that a couple wasn't together long enough to get invited to her wedding.

justsie · March 2017

charlotte989875 said:

Time and seriousness are two different things, IMO. 11 months is not a long time, but could be serious. You could also be in a relationship for a "long time" and it not be serious.

This. Also the length of someones past relationships would matter to me too. Someone who dated their last SO for 8 years would probably not consider 1-2 years a "longtime" relationship.

southernbelle0915 · March 2017

Yea no. 11 months is not "long-term". Although maybe it is for a 17 year old whose previous relationships were counted in weeks....

MissKittyDanger · March 2017

justsie said:

charlotte989875 said:

Time and seriousness are two different things, IMO. 11 months is not a long time, but could be serious. You could also be in a relationship for a "long time" and it not be serious.

This. Also the length of someones past relationships would matter to me too. Someone who dated their last SO for 8 years would probably not consider 1-2 years a "longtime" relationship.

Also someone who's never been in a constant long term relationship might consider 1-2 years a long time. Before my husband, my longest relationship wasn't constant so idk how long we were actually together, and yet his previous relationship was 2 months shy of 3 yrs.

lovesclimbing · March 2017

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

Time and seriousness are two different things, IMO. 11 months is not a long time, but could be serious. You could also be in a relationship for a "long time" and it not be serious.

This. I fear this thread getting pulled up by someone who wants to use it as a justification that a couple wasn't together long enough to get invited to her wedding.

I completely agree with you both. I married my H after 13 months total (dating + engagement). I'm not questioning her relationship or the seriousness of it. I'm questioning People calling it "longtime." I would not have considered H my "longtime boyfriend" at the time we got married.

levioosa · March 2017

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

thisismynickname2 · March 2017

11 months as "longtime" is laughable in the real world, but maybe not laughable in Hollywood where marriages easily last just three months.

For me, "longtime" is 4 or 5 years minimum! I know people who waited 5, 8, 9, 11 years to get engaged and married. To say nothing of "Waitie Katie."

InLoveInQueens · March 2017

levioosa said:

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

Totally OT but I saw someone on FB recently post asking for ideas for their 56 month anniversary with their girlfriend...

levioosa · March 2017

InLoveInQueens said:

levioosa said:

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

Totally OT but I saw someone on FB recently post asking for ideas for their 56 month anniversary with their girlfriend...

What?! Whyyyy? That's ridiculous. How old were they?

flantastic · March 2017

thisismynickname said:

11 months as "longtime" is laughable in the real world, but maybe not laughable in Hollywood where marriages easily last just three months.

For me, "longtime" is 4 or 5 years minimum! I know people who waited 5, 8, 9, 11 years to get engaged and married. To say nothing of "Waitie Katie."

I saw something recently where it was talking about Keri Russell and her "longtime" partner Matthew Rhys. I was like, "Oh, so they a) are together? and b) were together before The Americans?" I was thinking more along the lines of when they say "so-and-so married their long-term partner" - e.g. Mark Wahlberg, where he'd been with her for like 8 or 9 years and had 4 kids together before they got married.

Nope, Keri & Matthew have been together since 2013, aka after the start of their show which is now in season 5. I realize 2013 is longer ago than its sounds these days, but still. That's about the border of what I'd consider "longtime."

SP29 · March 2017

Initially I was going to say at least one year, to be a long time BF/GF. But then I thought about it if someone said, "Oh we've been together a long time- a year and a half!". I would say that's awesome, but not really a long time.

It's definitely a subjective term and dependent on the viewpoint of the individual. DH and I dated for 12 years when we got married. That's a pretty long time

.

But then when you apply the same term to marriage- we've been married for 3 years. That's not a long time. I'm going for 50+, and THAT is a long time (in a good way).

MissKittyDanger · March 2017

InLoveInQueens said:

levioosa said:

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

Totally OT but I saw someone on FB recently post asking for ideas for their 56 month anniversary with their girlfriend...

That's 4.5 years lmao
My husband and I have been together for 72 months! LMFAO {just checked - that's 6 years, I was curious}

southernbelle0915 · March 2017

InLoveInQueens said:

levioosa said:

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

Totally OT but I saw someone on FB recently post asking for ideas for their 56 month anniversary with their girlfriend...

I would take this as a joke. It has to be right? Like they're trying to make fun of measuring in months and everyone having month-a-versaries? Since FB now has the laughing face, that's probably how I would "like" this.

On a tangent, it makes me stabby when people refer to any kid over the age of 2 in months. Like when someone says their kid is 37 months old....K so your kid just turned 3. Got it.

ei34 · March 2017

I like People's use of "longtime". I feel like I usually hear "long term". Longtime reminds me of "me love you long time"

If I hear "longtime" relationship in my mind it's at least a couple of years. Ditto PP that there isn't necessarily a correlation between length and seriousness in relationships. I considered my relationship with DH a serious one around the two week mark.

InLoveInQueens · March 2017

levioosa said:

InLoveInQueens said:

levioosa said:

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

Totally OT but I saw someone on FB recently post asking for ideas for their 56 month anniversary with their girlfriend...

What?! Whyyyy? That's ridiculous. How old were they?

SITB

Just guessing based off of when his fb said he graduated high school, late 30s. And he was deadly serious, he added "yeah, we're lame like that, have to celebrate every month to show just how special our relationship is" after asking for ideas.
If every day is special, doesn't that just make no day special?

ernursej · March 2017

I feel like anything over 5 years is long. I dated H for 8 years so that might colour my opinion.

levioosa · March 2017

InLoveInQueens said:

levioosa said:

InLoveInQueens said:

levioosa said:

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

Totally OT but I saw someone on FB recently post asking for ideas for their 56 month anniversary with their girlfriend...

What?! Whyyyy? That's ridiculous. How old were they?

SITB

Just guessing based off of when his fb said he graduated high school, late 30s. And he was deadly serious, he added "yeah, we're lame like that, have to celebrate every month to show just how special our relationship is" after asking for ideas.
If every day is special, doesn't that just make no day special?

*gag* Those are the people I'm convinced actually have crappy relationships, because they look like they are trying way too hard to put up a front about how "amazing" and "unique" and "awesome" their relationship is. I mean...just have a date night once a month? You're in your late 30's....monthaversaries are a little ridiculous.

short+sassy · March 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

InLoveInQueens said:

levioosa said:

I would say 1.5-2 years starts to be long-term material. But ditto about seriousness vs long term. I don't really casually date, so all my of my actual relationships have been serious from the time we agreed to date. My first bf (we dated for 6 years) initially measured our relationship in weeks and months. We were only 18, but omg it was eye rolling. All of my friends thought it was sweet. I thought it was ridiculous.

Totally OT but I saw someone on FB recently post asking for ideas for their 56 month anniversary with their girlfriend...

I would take this as a joke. It has to be right? Like they're trying to make fun of measuring in months and everyone having month-a-versaries? Since FB now has the laughing face, that's probably how I would "like" this.

On a tangent, it makes me stabby when people refer to any kid over the age of 2 in months. Like when someone says their kid is 37 months old....K so your kid just turned 3. Got it.

On a related note, I get stabby when people make me do math. So I'm right there with ya .

I see I'm in the minority, but I consider a longtime b/f as 1 year or more. For context, before my H, most of my relationships before him were 2 years.

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