Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

Thank you note question

JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm probably being overcautious, but I'd like your opinions. 

I'm having two showers. I had one last weekend and will have the other this coming weekend. 

The hostess of the first shower didn't have her gift for me this past week because of shipping, and will possibly give it to me this coming week (as immediate family, she'll be at both). However, she told me that the shipping info says it may not come until next month, after my wedding. 

I gave her a thank you present at the end of the first shower and was planning on sending her a note as well. Should I send it this week, and then possibly another one next week? Should I wait for her gift to come in? Hers is the last one I have to write this week, and I don't want her to hear from other immediate family that they got cards and she didn't. 

Thanks!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Thank you note question

  • Options
    ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    STARMOON44 said:
    You've already thanked her for hosting and have t yet received a gift- I'd wait until you do and send a thank you then. 
    Ditto. You've thanked her for what you've received (a shower).  When she gives you a gift, send a thank you for that.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Thanks! That's what I was thinking, but I wasn't sure. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    The other good thing about sending the ty note AFTER you've received the gift, is then she'll know that you definitely received it.

    Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm reading into this, that the company might be giving her hoopla about when it is coming.  If that's the case, as the giver, I'd especially want to know from the recipient that the gift arrived.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Did you send her a TY note for the shower?   The TY present is great but I would still write a heartfelt note thanking her for what she did.  


    Report Reply
  • Options
    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    banana468 said:
    Did you send her a TY note for the shower?   The TY present is great but I would still write a heartfelt note thanking her for what she did.  


    I did not. I wanted to wait until after to write a note about the experience, so I only gave her a present. I just wasn't sure if I should write one for the shower now, and then another one for the gift later. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    JediElizabeth said:
    banana468 said:
    Did you send her a TY note for the shower?   The TY present is great but I would still write a heartfelt note thanking her for what she did.  


    I did not. I wanted to wait until after to write a note about the experience, so I only gave her a present. I just wasn't sure if I should write one for the shower now, and then another one for the gift later. 
    Personally I would.   I know that goes against the grain here but the giving of a shower IS in itself a gift.   So I'd send a TY note for everything she did.   When you get her gift you can send a different note.

    We're talking about the cost of some paper and an additional stamp and what - 15 minutes?    
    Report Reply
  • Options
    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    banana468 said:
    JediElizabeth said:
    banana468 said:
    Did you send her a TY note for the shower?   The TY present is great but I would still write a heartfelt note thanking her for what she did.  


    I did not. I wanted to wait until after to write a note about the experience, so I only gave her a present. I just wasn't sure if I should write one for the shower now, and then another one for the gift later. 
    Personally I would.   I know that goes against the grain here but the giving of a shower IS in itself a gift.   So I'd send a TY note for everything she did.   When you get her gift you can send a different note.

    We're talking about the cost of some paper and an additional stamp and what - 15 minutes?    
    But she already gave a thank you gift for this. I just think it's unnecessary. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    STARMOON44 said:
    banana468 said:
    JediElizabeth said:
    banana468 said:
    Did you send her a TY note for the shower?   The TY present is great but I would still write a heartfelt note thanking her for what she did.  


    I did not. I wanted to wait until after to write a note about the experience, so I only gave her a present. I just wasn't sure if I should write one for the shower now, and then another one for the gift later. 
    Personally I would.   I know that goes against the grain here but the giving of a shower IS in itself a gift.   So I'd send a TY note for everything she did.   When you get her gift you can send a different note.

    We're talking about the cost of some paper and an additional stamp and what - 15 minutes?    
    But she already gave a thank you gift for this. I just think it's unnecessary. 
    Technically it's still necessary to write the note.  Giving the hostess a gift is nice but it's not really absolution for writing the note. 


    Report Reply
  • Options
    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2017
    The hostess gift is optional. A thank you note is not optional. I'd send a note to thank the shower host, asap. When and if the gift arrives, I'd send a thank you note for that. 
                       
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Water under the bridge but I would have included a thank you note with the gift. Since OP didn't, she should send a TY note.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    Water under the bridge but I would have included a thank you note with the gift. Since OP didn't, she should send a TY note.
    This confuses me, but maybe I should learn for the upcoming shower my MOH is hosting. What would you give it to the host/ess at the shower, when it's clear you wrote it before the event happened? Wouldn't it be better to write a TY note after the fact, when you can add in personal touches of things you really enjoyed ("I really loved the game where...", "thank you for serving my favorite dessert," etc.)? 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    JediElizabeth said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    Water under the bridge but I would have included a thank you note with the gift. Since OP didn't, she should send a TY note.
    This confuses me, but maybe I should learn for the upcoming shower my MOH is hosting. What would you give it to the host/ess at the shower, when it's clear you wrote it before the event happened? Wouldn't it be better to write a TY note after the fact, when you can add in personal touches of things you really enjoyed ("I really loved the game where...", "thank you for serving my favorite dessert," etc.)? 
    In the note with the gift I would've thanked the hostesses for hostessing and taking the time to have the event. You know ahead of time what she/they are doing so there is nothing wrong with writing something ahead of time. However, if you want to include things about the food and games you could certainly wait until afterwards.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    JediElizabeth said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    Water under the bridge but I would have included a thank you note with the gift. Since OP didn't, she should send a TY note.
    This confuses me, but maybe I should learn for the upcoming shower my MOH is hosting. What would you give it to the host/ess at the shower, when it's clear you wrote it before the event happened? Wouldn't it be better to write a TY note after the fact, when you can add in personal touches of things you really enjoyed ("I really loved the game where...", "thank you for serving my favorite dessert," etc.)? 
    In the note with the gift I would've thanked the hostesses for hostessing and taking the time to have the event. You know ahead of time what she/they are doing so there is nothing wrong with writing something ahead of time. However, if you want to include things about the food and games you could certainly wait until afterwards.
    I would send the TY note after the shower, for the reasons JediElizabeth mentions. 
                       
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MairePoppy said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    JediElizabeth said:
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    Water under the bridge but I would have included a thank you note with the gift. Since OP didn't, she should send a TY note.
    This confuses me, but maybe I should learn for the upcoming shower my MOH is hosting. What would you give it to the host/ess at the shower, when it's clear you wrote it before the event happened? Wouldn't it be better to write a TY note after the fact, when you can add in personal touches of things you really enjoyed ("I really loved the game where...", "thank you for serving my favorite dessert," etc.)? 
    In the note with the gift I would've thanked the hostesses for hostessing and taking the time to have the event. You know ahead of time what she/they are doing so there is nothing wrong with writing something ahead of time. However, if you want to include things about the food and games you could certainly wait until afterwards.
    I would send the TY note after the shower, for the reasons JediElizabeth mentions. 
    In this instance, yes I would too as I stated earlier. Normally though, a bride would be sending a thank you note for a gift from the hostess so I think the thanks would be included in that note. I would still have included a note thanking her for hosting the shower along with the hostess gift.
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards