MOH vs. Dresses

YogaSandy · April 2017

MissKittyDanger said:

I've been following this thread and maybe someone can give some insight so I can better understand OP's bm dress issue ...

I have anxiety but I've never had anything affect me colour related so I'm just having a hard time grasping what is happening with the dress colour.
I get what PPs have said about feeling self conscious about showing arms, etc but OP said the bm said about the colour.

Could someone explain to me this situation? I've personally never heard of it, and it's really giving me a hard time understand the issue at hand.

SITB

I don't have anxiety. I absolutely DESPISE orange and green. So much so that when I see them, I get a physical reaction, almost like someone has punched me in the stomach. Some shades are worse than others. I have not bought magazines and a bike because of these two colour together on them. Would I be able to wearing them for a friend's wedding? Not sure - but I would talk to her. Also, my close friends already know this.

Someone mentioned about green flowers etc. To me (can't speak for anyone else), it's not the same. Those are natural, supppsed to be those colours and there's no choice. I'm also allergic to nature (if it grows - I can't breathe), so I don't like trees etc. No idea if this is where the aversion comes from.

I know I really didn't explain WHY. I don't know why. But, this is my experience.

CMGragain · April 2017

YogaSandy said: I don't have anxiety. I absolutely DESPISE orange and green. So much so that when I see them, I get a physical reaction, almost like someone has punched me in the stomach. Some shades are worse than others. I have not bought magazines and a bike because of these two colour together on them. Would I be able to wearing them for a friend's wedding? Not sure - but I would talk to her. Also, my close friends already know this.

Someone mentioned about green flowers etc. To me (can't speak for anyone else), it's not the same. Those are natural, supppsed to be those colours and there's no choice. I'm also allergic to nature (if it grows - I can't breathe), so I don't like trees etc. No idea if this is where the aversion comes from.

I know I really didn't explain WHY. I don't know why. But, this is my experience.
----------------------------------------------

Have you tried therapy? This sounds like it might be impacting your lifestyle. There are medications that might be of help. I think you might feel better if you address this issue with professional help.

redoryx · April 2017

I was in a wedding once where during the rehearsal dinner, the bride gifted us with earrings (I know, I know). Anyway, we're all sitting around looking at them and from the other side of the table I hear the bride yell, "WHAT?!"

Turns out, one of the BMs didn't have pierced ears. She'd never had pierced ears. This is one of the bride's best friends and she had no clue. She just assumed the BM just was never wearing earrings when they saw each other.

I have anxiety. My best friends don't know all of my triggers, especially when it's things that I don't imagine they need to know. For the BM, she's probably thinking, "What are the chances the bride is going to choose THAT COLOR for the dress?" Only then it happens. So now she has to deal with the anxiety that comes of that color plus the anxiety of deciding whether or not to say something. And then she does so NOW she has to deal with the anxiety that comes after saying something. What does everyone think of her now? Do they think she's lying? Do they think she's crazy? A weirdo? She should have just kept her mouth shut. But she didn't. And now she's got all of these thoughts running on repeat through her head ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

honey-brooke · April 2017

redoryx said:

I was in a wedding once where during the rehearsal dinner, the bride gifted us with earrings (I know, I know). Anyway, we're all sitting around looking at them and from the other side of the table I hear the bride yell, "WHAT?!"

Turns out, one of the BMs didn't have pierced ears. She'd never had pierced ears. This is one of the bride's best friends and she had no clue. She just assumed the BM just was never wearing earrings when they saw each other.

I have anxiety. My best friends don't know all of my triggers, especially when it's things that I don't imagine they need to know. For the BM, she's probably thinking, "What are the chances the bride is going to choose THAT COLOR for the dress?" Only then it happens. So now she has to deal with the anxiety that comes of that color plus the anxiety of deciding whether or not to say something. And then she does so NOW she has to deal with the anxiety that comes after saying something. What does everyone think of her now? Do they think she's lying? Do they think she's crazy? A weirdo? She should have just kept her mouth shut. But she didn't. And now she's got all of these thoughts running on repeat through her head ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I realize this is likely the situation, which it why I'm looking at different shades of grey dresses tomorrow for the MOHs. I've determined the only tears shed at my wedding should be happy ones, not ones over silly colors that I likely won't be attached to in 30 years and only seem to matter right now. I still want green, but I'll find other ways to incorporate that. (Centerpiece ideas are welcome! LOL)

MesmrEwe · April 2017

CMGragain said:

It is the MOH's duty to show up at your wedding, wearing the dress you have chosen. If she doesn't want to do this, then it is up to her to either buy the dress and wear it, or to resign as MOH. Her choice, not yours. When SHE is the bride, it will be her turn to choose colors. I hope she gets payback when the time comes!

Personally, if my dearest friend asked me to wear a clown suit and stand next to her at her wedding, I would try to talk her out of it, but I would ultimately do as she wished.

Shoot - I'd wear the Clown outfit - AND I'd bring my prop bag that's full of Clown Balloons and show that Bride how to work the clown dress! AND I'd have a chance to wear it again because I'm insured for it so why not turn it into a side gig LOL

MOH vs. Dresses

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