Dear Prudence,
I work for a tech company where the men outnumber the women. On the elevators in our building, men often go out of their way to ensure the women exit first. This drives me nuts—it’s one thing to hold the door open for everyone, but it’s another to do it just for female co-workers. Sometimes men who are closest to the doors will shift around awkwardly to let me out ahead of them rather than just exiting first themselves, which would be easier for everyone. Is there anything I can say to make it clear that’s not necessary? I generally try “Please, go ahead” or “You’re closer to the door, after you,” but should I be more direct?