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How to let guests know it's time to leave?

bride2be1028bride2be1028 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I feel kind of silly asking this because I feel like it's something I should know or be able to figure out.  We are renting a private lake house to have both our ceremony and reception at.  It's going to be very small and very casual.  We are staying at the house for the entire weekend, and some of our guests have rented nearby houses on the lake to stay in.

So it will be an early afternoon ceremony and the reception will be pretty much like a backyard BBQ.  The intention is for everyone to just hang out and play some lawn games and just have a good time.  Even though I'm not terribly concerned about everyone being gone by a certain time, I also don't want people thinking they can hang out and party until the wee hours of the morning (I can see some of my FI friends doing this).  

Is there a polite way to signal to people that hey, this was great, thank you so much for coming, but it's really time to leave now?
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Re: How to let guests know it's time to leave?

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Are you having a dj or band? If so they can announce the last dance.
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  • kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    bride2be1028 said:

    I feel kind of silly asking this because I feel like it's something I should know or be able to figure out.  We are renting a private lake house to have both our ceremony and reception at.  It's going to be very small and very casual.  We are staying at the house for the entire weekend, and some of our guests have rented nearby houses on the lake to stay in.

    So it will be an early afternoon ceremony and the reception will be pretty much like a backyard BBQ.  The intention is for everyone to just hang out and play some lawn games and just have a good time.  Even though I'm not terribly concerned about everyone being gone by a certain time, I also don't want people thinking they can hang out and party until the wee hours of the morning (I can see some of my FI friends doing this).  

    Is there a polite way to signal to people that hey, this was great, thank you so much for coming, but it's really time to leave now?


    Lower music, start cleaning up. . . . . what do you do to signal the end of any other party you have thrown?  I would think the same would apply here.
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  • bride2be1028bride2be1028 member
    First Comment
    We aren't having a band or DJ, I'm not even sure that we will have music playing, but maybe. 

    If it were a normal house party I wouldn't expect people to leave early and everyone would probably just stay until they got tired and it was time to head home for bed. Since we are starting the wedding early in the day it won't be quite the same. 
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  • bride2be1028bride2be1028 member
    First Comment
    Yeah, I already ordered them with just the start time before I thought about all of this... :neutral:
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  • ernursejernursej member
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    I would do the subtle hints of starting to clean up, yawn etc. If someone doesn't get it, love @thisismynickname suggestion!
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Are you serving cake? A lot of people usually leave weddings after the cake.
    image
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  • bride2be1028bride2be1028 member
    First Comment
    I like the idea I like the idea of a short speech! That would probably get the message across. And yes we are having cake, I honestly never knew that cake was kind of the unofficial signal that things were winding down (I haven't been to a wedding in many years) that's good to know, thank you!
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    No more logs on the fire after 8PM, make sure they're small because once the fire dies down people will naturally tend to go...  Cleaning up and putting the food away usually is a good marker of party's over...  Plan that this process is going to be over about an hour and a half to two hours... or as we call it here "The Minnesota Goodbye"...
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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Agree with PPs.  At a certain point, stop replenishing food and drink.  Do a last call on alcohol at a set time.  Turn on more lights, change the music or stop playing it, etc.  

    I like the idea of a "thanks, have a good night" speech from you to your guests.  If you have a wedding website, you also make mention of the approximate ending time there, as a heads up to people.

    And this might be kind of out there, but you could let any local ordinances on noise be your friend.  Does your location have a noise ordinance in effect from, say 11PM to 6AM?  Excellent excuse to start cleaning up around 9:30 or 10:00.
    image
    Anniversary


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  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    STARMOON44 said:

    "This has been so much fun! Now get out we want to bang."


    Lol!
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    "You don't have to go home, but ya can't stay here." 

    Seriously, I think subtle hints will work. Cut off any music, give a little speech thanking people for coming, then start cleaning up. If you'e still got some stragglers, ask if you can help walk them to their cars. 
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2017
    Can you do an exit? Even if you just go get a drink with the 2 of you for an hour and come back to your house. 

    For example: 
    4:30 anounce last call 
    5:00 make a thank you for coming speech  and set out favours on a table by the door with a sign that says thank you for coming 
    5:15 have everyone get confetti and give you a send off immediately after you leave: lights on, music off, food put away, have staff start breaking down tables etc. 
    Have someone announce 'thanks for coming, if anyone needs a cab called, I have several numbers' 
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  • justsiejustsie member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    OurWildKingdom said:



    STARMOON44 said:


    "This has been so much fun! Now get out we want to bang."




    Lol!


    I actually said this. We had invited close friends back to our suite the night of for an after party- they stayed until 3am. Finally I was like I love you guys but its our first night as H and W so get out.

    OP- my big cue is when the alcohol is put up/bar is closed.
    image
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    aurianna said:




    artbyallie said:



    Are you serving cake? A lot of people usually leave weddings after the cake.





    bride2be1028 said:


     And yes we are

    having cake, I honestly never knew that cake was kind of the unofficial

    signal that things were winding down (I haven't been to a wedding in

    many years) that's good to know, thank you!







    I feel like this isn't always true?

    We had a 5pm ceremony.
    Cocktail hour was 6-7
    Dinner at 7
    I think we served cake around 830?

    We had the space and DJ officially until 11. We weren't going to serve the cake at 1030.

    DJ stayed of his own accord until 1130 and the dance floor was packed until then.


    I think it's not that the cake signals that it's time to leave, but rather it signals that it's socially acceptable to leave?
    I mean, as a guest I suppose I have the right to leave whenever I want, but even weddings I go to that aren't fun/ I'm really tired, I don't feel right leaving before the cake is served. Once the cake is out though I feel like it's ok to split, but not necessarily that I should split.






    Agreed. I think cake being served is the socially acceptable, "It's OK if you leave now". Some couples cut their cake right after dinner, others do it as part of the late night buffet, but it's not usually done as the last thing. A more traditional reception would have the bar give last call, or the DJ announce the last song of the night.
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